School Prom vent....

POPPYOSCAR

jellyhead wrote: »

At age 15 there are still plenty of boys who prefer girls to look less 'tarty'. That's a horrible word, and the girls who display a lot of flesh aren't actually tarts, but I just mean that some boys like particular styles MORE than skimpy for the sake of it.

No I agree not all of them are.

Personally I think they are misguided by thinking they will attract the boys. Yes they will attract the boys but what kind of boys?

I had this conversation with my daughter and she totally understood what I was saying, as her friend who dresses like this does attract boys who mess her around etc. Her friends who dress more reasonably have boyfriends long term.

At one point I think my daughter was tempted to want to dress like her friend which we would not allow but I am pleased that she has come to understand the benefits of not doing so herself.

POPPYOSCAR

Mrs_Arcanum wrote: »

Irony is tall girls look absolutely fab in high heels, where short ones look overwhelmed.

Yes but at 15??

She just looks silly as she is the tallest of all her friends and towers above them anyway, to then have high heels would look ridiculous.

tescobabe69

I'm a cheapskate, a skill I have passed on to my kids, they both had "proms" and have videos/photos, no outrageous spends, (shared limos etc).
Spending money demands getting good value and £00s on a prom aint it. If a girl has spent £700 on her prom her parents are rich and/or stupid, its more than my daughter spent on a fortnight with the guides in Mexico, its opportunity cost, you only get to spend money once.

Pollycat

jellyhead wrote: »

Yes, but you quoted Looby's post, and her daughter is nothing like the girls in the article. If she'd had a bridesmaids dress lying around, or a prom dress offered to her on loan by someone else I'm sure she'd have worn that instead.

Everyone knows the prom is coming up ... some of the girls started talking about it when they joined year 7! If it's important to them then putting a bit away each month etc. seems fine to me, it's no different to getting a particular thing for christmas really.

I believe my post in your reply was addressed to Alikay, not Looby (below).
It was Alikay who mentioned extremes.

Pollycat wrote: »

I don't think it is going to the extreme.

My point has been that sure, there'll be haves and have-not kids at schools.

It was the same in my day.
I wore second-hand uniforms whilst my friends wore new.
And of course at Christmas and birthdays, their presents were more expensive and more plentiful than mine were.

A prom - when parents are buying dresses costing £300 - £500 - just highlights that gap even more forcefully.

Have you read that link provided by PoppyOscar to the news article?

If not, I would.
Alternatively, read my posts #25 & #44.

The majority of the girls come across as shallow.

Of course, I'm not saying this is true of all girls.
I'm commenting on the article that started the thead - and in that article there were several girls mentioned who couldn't afford a dress and so weren't going to the prom.

My post to Looby was about the financial stress caused to some parents (and by knock-on to their children) by prom costs.

I've not said anywhere that any daughter of a poster on here are like the girls in the article.

Re Christmas/birthday gifts - these are often tangible things such as mobiles, ipads, clothes) and as such are longer lasting than a night out.

But that's just my opinion and of course people are entitled to spend their own money as they wish.
I was just commenting from a less privileged view - such as those familes who can't afford to put a few ££s away each week.

POPPYOSCAR

Pollycat wrote: »

I believe my post in your reply was addressed to Alikay, not Looby (below).
It was Alikay who mentioned extremes.



My post to Looby was about the financial stress caused to some parents (and by knock-on to their children) by prom costs.

I've not said anywhere that any daughter of a poster on here are like the girls in the article.

Re Christmas/birthday gifts - these are often tangible things such as mobiles, ipads, clothes) and as such are longer lasting than a night out.

But that's just my opinion and of course people are entitled to spend their own money as they wish.
I was just commenting from a less privileged view - such as those familes who can't afford to put a few ££s away each week.

Of course they are,but how many parents though, could not afford it but felt pressured into spending more than they could really afford I wonder.

The whole point of my thread was the way society views such things now and in my opinion has got out of hand.

No longer a fun night out but instead trying to outdo each other and in doing so looking much older than their years, something I personally do not like.

Is it any wonder that anorexia is on the increase in young girls?

My daughter wants to grow up and look older than she does but as a parent I feel it is my duty to guide her in what I feel is the right direction. I am a parent first and friend second.

looby75

Pollycat wrote: »

I was just commenting from a less privileged view - such as those familes who can't afford to put a few ££s away each week.

One of my daughters friends comes from such a family, her mam is a lone parent who works p/t due to health problems she doesn't get any support from her dad and money is VERY tight. She still went to the prom, her dress was borrowed from a friend and she was planning on getting the bus to prom but when dd and her friends found out she couldn't afford to chip in for the limo the other 7 said they would pay her share for her birthday present between them as prom fell right by her birthday.

It really really doesn't have to cost a fortune.

POPPYOSCAR

looby75 wrote: »

One of my daughters friends comes from such a family, her mam is a lone parent who works p/t due to health problems she doesn't get any support from her dad and money is VERY tight. She still went to the prom, her dress was borrowed from a friend and she was planning on getting the bus to prom but when dd and her friends found out she couldn't afford to chip in for the limo the other 7 said they would pay her share for her birthday present between them as prom fell right by her birthday.

It really really doesn't have to cost a fortune.

No it does not.

And that is lovely that she has such good friends to do that for her, not everyone has that unfortunately.

poet123

You really can pick up some gorgeous prom dresses on Ebay for peanuts. I suppose it is like weddings in a way, I have a friend who is going to a wedding in 3 weeks and she has spent £800 on an outfit. That same outfit was on Ebay last week for £70.......I haven't told her.

Whilst browsing the same section I came across a designer suit which new had cost £1200, it was stunning,but is now on sale at just under £100 having been worn for 3 hours (apparently the lady changed for the evening do!!) and then dry cleaned. There are ways of cutting costs if you want to find them.

looby75

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

No it does not.

And that is lovely that she has such good friends to do that for her, not everyone has that unfortunately.

but even if they hadn't all chipped in for her share of the limo she still would have gone to prom, just on the bus.

The kids all chipped in because they said it wouldn't have been the same in the limo without her, they would have all felt bad about her having to go on the bus so wouldn't have enjoyed it as much so it wasn't entirely altruistic lol

POPPYOSCAR

looby75 wrote: »

but even if they hadn't all chipped in for her share of the limo she still would have gone to prom, just on the bus.

The kids all chipped in because they said it wouldn't have been the same in the limo without her, they would have all felt bad about her having to go on the bus so wouldn't have enjoyed it as much so it wasn't entirely altruistic lol

There is no way anyone would have been able to get to this prom on the bus. A taxi would have been the only option.