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I'm at the end of my tether!!
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Give him 2 months to get a job and put together a deposit on a room somewhere. Then follow through with the threat. He's taking you for a ride, and your OH is letting him. You're quite rightly annoyed - I'd be livid. I'd go on strike with both of them, in fact - I'd book some time off work and go away for a few days and leave them to sort themselves out. Let your OH deal with him alone for a few days.
Sell the car and give the money back to your mother. No car, no allowance, no resident housemaid - he'll have to grow up.
It has been like this for some time. My mother is finally seeing sense and OH is supposedly sorting it out - flying pig time.
I don't want to leave this place till it is sold. Our son had a party whilst I was away last time.
He lies constantly and we are sick of it. He even drove my 93 year old stepfather to a rage when he stayed with this last time.
I don't go out to work.An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T
:rotfl: :rotfl: 
:eek::mad: :beer:
I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.0 -
Does he pay for mot, tax etc for this car? When was it bought as once any one of these runs out and he cant pay for it he cant drive it!0
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Why won't your OH support you in confronting him? Is he intimidated by him or something?
You have my sympathy - if my stepson did this, I'd pack up his belongings and put them outside on the pavement, and tell DH it's me or him so he'd better choose. I wouldn't tolerate it.
No he's soft as sh*t is my OH to him and harsh to me.
I have tried locking him out but my family say I am too harsh.An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :rotfl: :rotfl: :eek::mad: :beer:
I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.0 -
It is all due in August and was a new car.Does he pay for mot, tax etc for this car? When was it bought as once any one of these runs out and he cant pay for it he cant drive it!
We pay for his petrol for uni, instead of paying for busses like before, but he's using this bank account for his pleasure petrol.An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :rotfl: :rotfl: :eek::mad: :beer:
I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.0 -
I don't know what else to suggest - it must be horrible having no support and being in a family that gives you no respect. In your situation, I'd be very tempted to call time on the marriage and family, and walk out.
You say your OH shouts at you in front of your son - what happens if the two of you try to discuss it alone? Does your OH think the boy's behaviour is not that bad? Is he expecting you to solve it all?I am not stubborn. I am merely correct.0 -
if you havnt got your husbands backing you will be fighting a lost cause, even if your son is at college he should still have a little part time job, any change you can help him look for something, surely his friends must work ?
Yes his friends work and he says he can't get a job but he has time for pleasure.
I know it has been wrong but as you say, undermining husbands don't help!
This place is on the market, so don't know what else I can do.
I could move out when I get a car but it's not solving things.An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :rotfl: :rotfl: :eek::mad: :beer:
I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.0 -
I don't know what else to suggest - it must be horrible having no support and being in a family that gives you no respect.
You say your OH shouts at you in front of your son - what happens if the two of you try to discuss it alone? Does your OH think the boy's behaviour is not that bad? Is he expecting you to solve it all?
In private we agree that his behaviour is terrible but doesn't do anything about it.An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :rotfl: :rotfl: :eek::mad: :beer:
I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.0 -
Stop paying his petrol. If he is at uni tell him to go into halls. If he is being kicked out then they should give him accomodation. Does he get any sort of grant etc?
I am so sorry for you. I know this is not easy but I do think the only solution maybe tough love! How far away is uni? Make him ride a push bike!0 -
Well, it looks as if you son won't change his behaviour of his own accord, and your OH won't make him change. They are both leaving the ball in your court; that does give you an element of power. I'd definitely go off for a break on my own - if OH lets your son have a party again and the place gets trashed, they can clear it up. It seems they've got complacent over using you as the family dumping-ground, and only you can change that by stating your intentions and sticking to them. Shock tactics may be in order. Good luck.I am not stubborn. I am merely correct.0
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What is he spending all this money on ..do you see anything that he is buying with the money?? I say this as could he be dabbling in drugs as his personality has changed so much (i know all teenagers change!) - at 19 Iwould stop his allowance...he will soon have to get a job then. If he has a job he may become more responsible and understand the value of the money he has earned. I can never advocate "throwing" a child out of the family home - it is a recipe for disaster when there are already problems. The fact that you OH is taking it out on you in front of your son is demoralising for you - your OH has to take some responsibility. You are obviously very down ...I have felt like this lately and after some help from the doctor feel a lot more positive - maybe you should put yourself firts for a while. I agree with Lusignan ...sell the car pay off the debts. With no car he will have less expenses and will not be able to socialise so much. No allowance (apart from food) - he will have to get a job and you may just get back the son you had 3 years ago.I have had brain surgery - sorry if I am a little confused sometimes
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