Ever felt like just taking off.....

londonsurrey

You can't change them, but you can change your behaviour. Just go for it!

The thing about users is that they usually find someone else to bail them out if need be anyhow.

System

I feel like taking off a lot of the time. Away from everyone who is emotionally draining me.

Mother i havent seen for years as she was using me as a source of money (and then giving it to my brother as he was 'poor').

Hubby, two faced. One minute he's loving and kind and in a split second he can be verbally aggressive and emotionally demanding. Its like living with a loading gun waiting for him to go off at any moment.

Eldest son .... alcoholic by his own admission. Have you ever seen someone you love disintigrate in front of your eyes. I dont see him, he just pops up on Facebook occasionally as he knows how much his life upsets me.

Middle son.... Mental health issues due to long term drug use. He's lost everything and everyone and still goes back for more. After his last verbal assault on Facebook whilst he was as high as a kite we are no longer in contact. He still cant see why he was asked to leave even though he nearly burned the house down at 2am after an all night session and came home with the munchies. He was warned once, warned twice... then asked to leave.

I would say i was a walking disaster as a Daughter/Wife/Mother if it wasnt for the good things in my life and my other three children who are a credit to me and actually make me feel that my life has been worthwhile.

Would i ever walk away? Well my kids are now grown up and not children any more. If i found more happiness elsewhere, would i go? Too damn right i would. Life is too short to settle for second best.

However, (a bit of a long post for me). The trials and tribulations i have had in my life have made me the person i am today and fortunately, i am emotionally strong because of it.

JustinCredibleGillespie

I feel for you OP. If my parents were to sit me down & tell me they were sick of the sight of me and sick of my behaviour & attitude, I would be shocked and I would try my best to make amends. I dont think this is an option for you now, its long past that stage

Do what you want to do, not whats in the best interests of others.

We only get one life, so live it.

JCG

xx

globetraveller

If you move abroad, you need to do it for the right reasons. Its not as easy as soapland would have you believe. Avoiding people is not the right reason.Can you afford it? Can you speak the language? Would you be relying in sterling savings which could lose its value?(Cyprus has been a disaster area recently as retired folks found their income was drastically reduced because of the currency rates) How would you feel if your OH dies first and you are there on your own? I'm sure I read that more than half of those who move abroad, end up moving back.
If you dont have a facebook account, how do you know what is being said? Who is telling you? Tell them you dont want to know.If they are giving you grief down the phone, hang up. Better still, have a family meeting and spell it all out- how you feel and what you won't put up with. But let them have their say during the meeting as well - it may not all be one way.
Once you are in the right mindset- then start to investigate a move abroad. I would suggest a long holiday in the place you think you would like to move to- and the holiday time should be in the out of season time. You would get a better idea of what real life there is about. Its really not something that folks should just say "go for it." You need a lot more planning than that

pmlindyloo

What a nightmare for you - my sympathies.

The old saying about not being able to choose your family is so right.

My feeling, for what it is worth, is that if you moved abroad you would end up seeing more of them as they would expect a 'free' holiday. Why should you move to a smaller than you would like place just so that you could refuse the 'free' holiday plead? Could cause a lot of hassle and you might want to invite your own friends so would need an extra bedroom or two.

Have you thought about moving to another part of this country? Would probably cut down on their visits if it was far enough away!

As for Facebook, don't get me started. Not a user myself but hear horrendous stories of families falling out because of what someone has posted. Glad to hear you don't have anything to do with it. Ignorance, in this case, is bliss.

I agree absolutely that the time has come for you to enjoy your lives. Go for it.

BEAR

so sorry to hear this but can totally understand

nothing changes if nothing changes so think o yourselves now and do what will make you happy...dont take their feelings into account cos they obviously dont think about yours...veyr very hard to do tho

I would move without leaving any traceif my hub died cos son would bleed me dry

londonsurrey

Why not just try another country? Take a 6 month let somewhere. You get to know the neighbourhood, get the local flavour.

You really should do that before buying anyhow. This way, you can just come back or even try another country. The world's your oyster!

CrixuS_2

JustinCredibleGillespie wrote: »

I feel for you OP. If my parents were to sit me down & tell me they were sick of the sight of me and sick of my behaviour & attitude, I would be shocked and I would try my best to make amends. I dont think this is an option for you now, its long past that stage

Do what you want to do, not whats in the best interests of others.

We only get one life, so live it.

JCG

xx

The thing is they have real trouble acknowledging that they are even doing anything wrong. They don't see themselves as being selfish, they are so wrapped up in what they want to do.I have told them "we are not getting any younger" "Dad can't do the things he used to do" but water off a ducks back with them.If I say anything about fathers day they automatically take it as an invite to dinner so I have stopped saying anything now.Yes you're right its way past that now, we have given up with them.

CrixuS_2

BEAR wrote: »

so sorry to hear this but can totally understand

nothing changes if nothing changes so think o yourselves now and do what will make you happy...dont take their feelings into account cos they obviously dont think about yours...veyr very hard to do tho

I would move without leaving any traceif my hub died cos son would bleed me dry

Yes its very hard to do, as much as they annoy me I don't want to hurt them, if that makes sense.

londonsurrey

CrixuS wrote: »

Yes its very hard to do, as much as they annoy me I don't want to hurt them, if that makes sense.

That does make sense, but there is a difference between telling them deliberately hurtful things and simply telling them the straight truth.

In this case, it's that the children are well and truly fledged, and that mummy and daddy would like to spend their freedom as they choose.