Ever felt like just taking off.....

Buttercup2305

Honestly, If I had the money and could live comfortably. I would go abroad and enjoy retirement. They will always be your kids but it is also time for yourself now as well.

Pollycat

CrixuS wrote: »

Also I'm not happy with them about Fathers Day. Only one came to see their dad and he could only stay for an hour as he had something else arranged that day. In the past they have invited themselves over for a barbeque but their dad has always ended up doing all the work. It seems if we do not invite them they do not arrange to take him out or just turn up on the day. They send cards but that is it and it so annoys me after all their dad does for them.They could put him first just for one day of the year surely?

Decent sons and daughters would do, but it sounds like you don't have decent children so expecting them to behave as you would/did to your parents isn't going to work and it's just going to leave you frustrated and upset.

They sound like users to me.

I'd do as Sambucus Nigra advises:

I'd invite them all round; tell them what you have just told us, and then tell them to leave and until they decide to treat you with a little respect they aren't welcome in your house.

I can't see that moving abroad would change the situation. You'd find that they'd be over to stay with you every chance they got, expecting you to feed them and wait on them hand-and-foot while they enjoy a free holiday.

CrixuS_2

Buttercup2305 wrote: »

Honestly, If I had the money and could live comfortably. I would go abroad and enjoy retirement. They will always be your kids but it is also time for yourself now as well.

That's what we are thinking now.

Lara44

Start by cutting off the Bank of Mum and Dad.

CrixuS_2

Pollycat wrote: »

Decent sons and daughters would do, but it sounds like you don't have decent children so expecting them to behave as you would/did to your parents isn't going to work and it's just going to leave you frustrated and upset.

They sound like users to me.

I'd do as Sambucus Nigra advises:


I can't see that moving abroad would change the situation. You'd find that they'd be over to stay with you every chance they got, expecting you to feed them and wait on them hand-and-foot while they enjoy a free holiday.

Every bit of this post is right. They expect so much from us and yet give so little in return.

As I said earlier we have tried talking to them and explaining but we have now reached the point of enough is enough. They don't seem to get it, so that is why we have reached the point of wanting to be away from them to live our lives in peace. I told one son on sunday that we were thinking of selling up and moving away and he was shocked.

VfM4meplse

In isolating yourself from your children, make sure you have an adequate support network - I would wager that moving abroad isn't going to give you that. Consider what you would do if one of you becomes ill, or 2 becomes one. What seems like a good idea when you're in rosy health can alter drastically overnight.

Caroline_a

If you can afford to sell up and move abroad I would say go for it! Chose somewhere fantastic (Barbados springs to mind), but buy a one bedroomed apartment so that there is no room for them to stay. Don't tell them what you're doing until it's a fait accomplis. I would also ensure that any money you have to leave is either spent, or tied up so that it maybe goes to a charity or to relatives that you think would benefit from it and be grateful.

So sad for you though... we all have such hopes for our children, you must be terribly disappointed.

CrixuS_2

Lara44 wrote: »

Start by cutting off the Bank of Mum and Dad.

:)We started to do that a while ago now. I know they think we are mean now. The thing is they would get so much more out of us if they were different.

CrixuS_2

VfM4meplse wrote: »

In isolating yourself from your children, make sure you have an adequate support network - I would wager that moving abroad isn't going to give you that. Consider what you would do if one of you becomes ill, or 2 becomes one. What seems like a good idea when you're in rosy health can alter drastically overnight.

Can't see them being a lot of help if either of were ill, they have not helped much in the past. Youngest son told me last time OH was ill that there was nothing wrong with him, and the way I feel about them it would not bother me if I was on my own.

CrixuS_2

Caroline_a wrote: »

If you can afford to sell up and move abroad I would say go for it! Chose somewhere fantastic (Barbados springs to mind), but buy a one bedroomed apartment so that there is no room for them to stay. Don't tell them what you're doing until it's a fait accomplis. I would also ensure that any money you have to leave is either spent, or tied up so that it maybe goes to a charity or to relatives that you think would benefit from it and be grateful.

So sad for you though... we all have such hopes for our children, you must be terribly disappointed.

You read my mind. I used to think it would be great to leave lots of money for them now I do plan to spend it and give what is left to who deserves it.

Yes it is sad but strangely enough we seem to have comes to terms with it now. It has been building up for a few years to come to us feeling like we do. I know some would say how could you feel like that about your own children, I would have said the same a few years ago. I never understood how someone could leave more money to one child than the other or move away from their children, but I do now. As long as they are happy and safe then I am ok with not seeing much of them.