Ever felt like just taking off.....

CrixuS_2

We have had just about enough of our family, so selfish and self centred, love gossip and back biting. Just want to be away from it all. Oh talks about going to live in another country but I don't really want to do that. Perhaps we should just tell them to all get lost.

Pollycat

Moving to another country isn't as simple as packing everything up and jumping on a plane or ferry - and sounds a pretty drastic solution to problem family.

How close do your family live?
How much do you have to do with them currently?
Is it all your family or just a few members?

If I had family that were causing me problems, I'd just distance myself from them - not necessarily in a physical way but emotionally so they can't upset me.

Isn't that possible for you?
Or is the problem something like Facebook where you've all been falling out?

Sambucus_Nigra

Tell them all to get lost. Much cheaper.

CrixuS_2

Never, ever, thought we would say this about our children, but we don't like to be in their company for long, so now see them as little as possible. We have distanced ourselves quite a bit emotionally but they still annoy us with the things they do and say.We don't have facebook but they do and it's pathetic what goes on there.

OH thinks if we lived abroad we would see them even less but if it was a nice place I think we might see them even more for holidays.

gingin_2

I read your first post and never expected it to be about your children - that must be hard. Is it aimed towards you or is it arguing amongst each other?

To be honest, if I had no children, or felt no loyalty in staying here I would be off abroad like a shot.

You are right to keep away from Facebook.

Sambucus_Nigra

What sort of things are we talking about here?

j.e.j.

CrixuS wrote: »

Never, ever, thought we would say this about our children, but we don't like to be in their company for long, so now see them as little as possible. We have distanced ourselves quite a bit emotionally but they still annoy us with the things they do and say.We don't have facebook but they do and it's pathetic what goes on there.

OH thinks if we lived abroad we would see them even less but if it was a nice place I think we might see them even more for holidays.

It sounds like much as you love them, they've grown up to be not very nice people, - people whose company you'd rather avoid!

I think Facebook has brought about a set of behaviours in people which I'd also really rather not get involved in, hence I got rid of my FB account (which I rarely used anyway, lol). Unfortunately, for the generation below mine, not having Facebook/MSN/whatever is just unthinkable, because 'everyone' has it and so 'everyone' should.

You are right, let 'em all get on with it!!

CrixuS_2

gingin wrote: »

I read your first post and never expected it to be about your children - that must be hard. Is it aimed towards you or is it arguing amongst each other?

To be honest, if I had no children, or felt no loyalty in staying here I would be off abroad like a shot.

You are right to keep away from Facebook.

It's so many things really. They are so money orientated and expect us to keep shelling out for them even though they are grown up.They do nothing to help us even when asked, they always have some excuse, and when they are brought to brook about it they get nasty and show no respect. It is so hard for us because they were always brought up to show respect. We have tried to tell them how we feel and they change a bit for a while but then they just go back to the way they were.

I really do not like youngest son, he is arrogant and a liar and bears no resemblance to the child he once was. He thinks he can shout at me one minute and then give me a cuddle the next.
As I said, NEVER< EVER thought I would be feeling this way about our children but neither of us are getting any younger and we just want a peaceful life.

They argue with us and with each other.

I suppose I feel that if we put a physical distance between us and them it would help emotionally as well somehow.

Sambucus_Nigra

I'd invite them all round; tell them what you have just told us, and then tell them to leave and until they decide to treat you with a little respect they aren't welcome in your house.

CrixuS_2

Also I'm not happy with them about Fathers Day. Only one came to see their dad and he could only stay for an hour as he had something else arranged that day. In the past they have invited themselves over for a barbeque but their dad has always ended up doing all the work. It seems if we do not invite them they do not arrange to take him out or just turn up on the day. They send cards but that is it and it so annoys me after all their dad does for them.They could put him first just for one day of the year surely?

CrixuS_2

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I'd invite them all round; tell them what you have just told us, and then tell them to leave and until they decide to treat you with a little respect they aren't welcome in your house.

That has already happened to the worst offender, youngest son, I have fallen out with him big time because I refused to ignore his behaviour. He has gone on to tell lies about us, me in particular but he seems to think that he can breeze in here when he feels like it.
He got told by my OH to apologize to me on saturday night or "there's your car and don't come back until you do".