Advice...First date.

totheleft

Hello Guys,

Thank you for all your replies.

Well i waited for him to text me last night and he didn't so my friend said ask him whats up. So i did, i said he hasn't been the same since Sat and that he said he would tell me if he lost interest.

Well he replied saying that he didn't feel anything for me on Sat and that it was different to what it was like on the phone (I said that to him on Sat but he was acting normal and didn't agree with me so I don't know) and that he wanted to wait for a few days to see if he felt anything. (I was abit surprised to be honest, I thought he would have said he thought i was not interested)

I replied saying I was really shy and apologised and said i did tell him i would be shy and i have never done online dating before so he hasn't got to know the real me yet and the real me is the person on the phone and i apologised for making him feel uncomfortable.

He replied saying i shouldn't apologise as i am who i am and there's nothing wrong with that but he's looking for someone different.

So i replied saying i was disappointed because he liked me on the phone (he was wayyyy more attached to me than i was to him) and thats who i am. I said he didn't make me feel comfortable, and i expected him to (i know you guys said he might have had verbal vomit but if it a girls who shy sat in front of you and your complimenting yourself...whats she supposed to do?!). I wished him all the best for finding someone.

He never replied and didn't wish me the best. At least i apologised for my shyness but he never apologised for being the way he was, which wasn't that great either. I have confided in my guy friend at work and he thinks it was mostly his fault and you don't go on a date with a girl whos already shy, start complimenting yourself and then play a staring game because he did make me feel uncomfortable with the way he was just staring into my eyes.

I am abit disappointed hes just given up after a first date and part of me thinks i am to blame because i was abit negative towards him after the date on how the date went but i've been intitiating contact and texting him so i did show i was still interested.

But hey, you win some you lose some. I know not to be shy on my next date now. I am just feeling gutted right now and I don't know why :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

HeadAboveWater

Aw don't feel bad! It's not your fault. It's not his. I think both of you had different expectations of the date and it didn't go quite according to plan. Don't let it get to you. Put it down to experience. There's more guys out there so don't give up and don't let it put you off x

*hug*

VestanPance

Don't blame yourself. You tried and it don't work out.

Doing something like online dating is more often than not going to see a big ratio of dates that go nowhere, as it's one thing to hit it off over a message/text or phone call but entirely different face to face.

Forget about him and try again. Hopefully the next guy is a better match for you.

Alikay

Don't feel gutted: You've had a lucky escape from a guy who seems pretty shallow and seems after an instant "hit" in a relationship.

It's one of the downsides to internet dating: If you don't click with someone upon meeting in a normal pub/party/workplace situation, you simply don't take things any further: You hadn't met this chap first, but had already built up a kind of telephone relationship, so naturally when you met and it didn't go well, you feel disappointed and hurt.

Plenty more fish in the sea and pebbles on the beach!:A

DylanO

Maybe you could try being a bit less clingy and desperate because that's how you're coming across to me. They are not attractive qualities.

Artytarty

Pffft! Better off without the likes of him.
Did he think there would be little violins playing and twinkly stars would suddenly appear along with his instantaneous feelings?!

totheleft

DylanO wrote: »

Maybe you could try being a bit less clingy and desperate because that's how you're coming across to me. They are not attractive qualities.

Haha I do believe I come across this way but I was not the clingy one. I'm ok in person . It's hard to express yourself via the Internet without it making you sound different to the way you are actually thinking. If I was clingy, I would have asked for a 2nd date myself.

He used to ring me everyday, text me allll the time and then text me again if I didn't reply. I just wanted a answer and move on, I hate games.

He wanted something more out of this than I did. He didn't even want to consider this not working out whereas I went in thinking it might not do.

I'm over it already . The more I look back on our date the more I realised how disappointed I was.

HeadAboveWater

I think you already knew the date wasn't quite what what it should have been when you were on here asking for advice! If it had been perfect this thread wouldn't exist. Right?!

totheleft

kathy_virginvie wrote: »

I think you already knew the date wasn't quite what what it should have been when you were on here asking for advice! If it had been perfect this thread wouldn't exist. Right?!

Exactly

londonsurrey

totheleft wrote: »

Exactly

That's the spirit. You are now open to a whole host of experiences.

The chap I'm going out with makes me go weak at the knees. This is not without its attendant problems. When we were first dating, we were late for a function, and he grabbed my hand so that we could make a run for it.

Unbeknownst to him, it was not a good combination for me, as him grabbing my hand made me go weak at the knees at the very moment I was required to make a sprint for it.