Advice...First date.

Lotus-eater

You sound like your just looking for that perfect person, why don't you try to just enjoy dating a bit and if you find someone who you really like, it's a bonus.

I'll tell you something, if I was on that date and you said to me afterwards "I acted an idiot and blonde" , I would have said, "no you didn't, you're just a little shy, next time I hope you will know me a little better"
He wasn't exactly trying to put you at ease. If fact I know exactly what he was doing and you did well to get away from this one.

totheleft

Lotus-eater wrote: »

You sound like your just looking for that perfect person, why don't you try to just enjoy dating a bit and if you find someone who you really like, it's a bonus.

I'll tell you something, if I was on that date and you said to me afterwards "I acted an idiot and blonde" , I would have said, "no you didn't, you're just a little shy, next time I hope you will know me a little better"
He wasn't exactly trying to put you at ease. If fact I know exactly what he was doing and you did well to get away from this one.

Oooo what was he doing? You got me intrigued. Yes i totally agree with you, he didn't put me at ease. I felt stupid for being so shy and on the date, he made me feel more nervous as he couldn't stop staring into my eyes.

londonsurrey

Lotus-eater wrote: »

He wasn't exactly trying to put you at ease. If fact I know exactly what he was doing and you did well to get away from this one.

I'm curious now. What exactly was he trying to achieve with those outrageous comments?

Lotus-eater

totheleft wrote: »

Oooo what was he doing? You got me intrigued. Yes i totally agree with you, he didn't put me at ease. I felt stupid for being so shy and on the date, he made me feel more nervous as he couldn't stop staring into my eyes.

I think it's a difficult one for men, either they stare into the other persons eyes too much, or he avoids their eyes and is called shifty.

londonsurrey wrote: »

I'm curious now. What exactly was he trying to achieve with those outrageous comments?

When he didn't tell TTL afterwards how it was OK she was just a little shy and it's fine, he was wanting her to continue to feel a little unconfident.

It's more what he said afterwards which is telling. He may have been nervous and all kinds of rubbish came out on the date, but afterwards you should be supportive and say it doesn't matter.

He wanted her to feel less than him, maybe he has to feel superior to someone. He's belittling TTL and he wants her to feel like that, so she thinks he's a great catch.... as he was constantly telling her on the date.

londonsurrey

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I think it's a difficult one for men, either they stare into the other persons eyes too much, or he avoids their eyes and is called shifty.

When he didn't tell TTL afterwards how it was OK she was just a little shy and it's fine, he was wanting her to continue to feel a little unconfident.

It's more what he said afterwards which is telling. He may have been nervous and all kinds of rubbish came out on the date, but afterwards you should be supportive and say it doesn't matter.

He wanted her to feel less than him, maybe he has to feel superior to someone. He's belittling TTL and he wants her to feel like that, so she thinks he's a great catch.... as he was constantly telling her on the date.

Wow. That's scary - an abusive relationship, starting from the first date!

totheleft

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I think it's a difficult one for men, either they stare into the other persons eyes too much, or he avoids their eyes and is called shifty.

When he didn't tell TTL afterwards how it was OK she was just a little shy and it's fine, he was wanting her to continue to feel a little unconfident.

It's more what he said afterwards which is telling. He may have been nervous and all kinds of rubbish came out on the date, but afterwards you should be supportive and say it doesn't matter.

He wanted her to feel less than him, maybe he has to feel superior to someone. He's belittling TTL and he wants her to feel like that, so she thinks he's a great catch.... as he was constantly telling her on the date.

Haha maybe that is true! If he did think he messed up though, wouldn't he want another date to rectify it? He gave up quick but hey his loss .

Person_one

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I think it's a difficult one for men, either they stare into the other persons eyes too much, or he avoids their eyes and is called shifty.

When he didn't tell TTL afterwards how it was OK she was just a little shy and it's fine, he was wanting her to continue to feel a little unconfident.

It's more what he said afterwards which is telling. He may have been nervous and all kinds of rubbish came out on the date, but afterwards you should be supportive and say it doesn't matter.

He wanted her to feel less than him, maybe he has to feel superior to someone. He's belittling TTL and he wants her to feel like that, so she thinks he's a great catch.... as he was constantly telling her on the date.

That's a pretty in depth analysis from the info on here (from a source you know equally little about!) You're not psychic are you?

clearingout

Lotus-eater wrote: »

When he didn't tell TTL afterwards how it was OK she was just a little shy and it's fine, he was wanting her to continue to feel a little unconfident.

It's more what he said afterwards which is telling. He may have been nervous and all kinds of rubbish came out on the date, but afterwards you should be supportive and say it doesn't matter.

He wanted her to feel less than him, maybe he has to feel superior to someone. He's belittling TTL and he wants her to feel like that, so she thinks he's a great catch.... as he was constantly telling her on the date.

oooh, that's EXACTLY my ex husband. I've never been able to put my finger on it. The sense of entitlement...that we spent our whole relationship following his dreams....arrggghhh!!!!! I won't be doing that again!

Good escape totheleft!!!!

Lotus-eater

Person_one wrote: »

That's a pretty in depth analysis from the info on here (from a source you know equally little about!) You're not psychic are you?

Lets just say I have knowledge in the area.