Advice...First date.

tea_lover

I'm another one that wasn't at all sure about a second date with my OH. It just didn't seem to 'click' and I made lots of excuses when he tried to arrange something else. I did go for a drink in the end as it seemed polite (for some reason lol). Many years later we're still together. He's never mastered the art of saying the right thing though!

OP, he does sound like a potential pillock but it really could have been nerves. If I'd gone for a meal then had to talk (basically to myself) all the way through I would have been coming out with some right rubbish by the end.

A second date won't hurt. Just make it more of an activity thing, so there's something to talk about.

Good luck!

VestanPance

Verbal vomit, must take note of that one.

The guy does sound like an idiot from what you've described, but then I look at one of my oldest friends and I can see how something like you describe plays out. He's a really nice guy, funny, smart, good job etc. Put him with a woman and he's still all those things. Now put him with a woman he likes and watch what only be described as verbal vomit/panic attack outbreak. He knew he did it, but seemed unable to stop it. I think it was sort of I really like you, so need to impress you type thing. Rather than just relaxing and being himself.

Thankfully his better half managed to "survive" the first couple of dates and they're now happily married with a great kid.

System

He hasnt rang me since Sat but has text and made small talk but not as sweet as before.

Shall I take that as a hint he's not interested?

nahh, if he wasnt interested i shouldnt imagine he'd not be bothered with texting you.

totheleft

Thank you all for your replies

I thought i'd give him another chance so i text him this morning to see how he is. I got a really enthusiastic reply back so i replied back to him and he's not bothered getting back to me!!!

He obviously lost interest which is fine but i told him before the date that if he isn't interested, at least would he tell me as i am not sensitive and he said he would but now it's like he's playing a mind game.

I feel like texting him ''What the hell is your problem!!!!!'' but don't want to keep running after him.

I know somethings not right as before the date he would text me loads.

I am so sad that i am sat here confused, as that is the last thing i wanted . I thought i found a lovely guy .

He knows fully well I'll be sat here wondering whats up.

tesuhoha

totheleft wrote: »

Thank you all for your replies

I thought i'd give him another chance so i text him this morning to see how he is. I got a really enthusiastic reply back so i replied back to him and he's not bothered getting back to me!!!

He obviously lost interest which is fine but i told him before the date that if he isn't interested, at least would he tell me as i am not sensitive and he said he would but now it's like he's playing a mind game.

I feel like texting him ''What the hell is your problem!!!!!'' but don't want to keep running after him.

I know somethings not right as before the date he would text me loads.

I am so sad that i am sat here confused, as that is the last thing i wanted . I thought i found a lovely guy .

He knows fully well I'll be sat here wondering whats up.

And that's the problem. Men like a challenge and enjoy a chase. I think the best thing you can do is stop texting. If he is interested then he will start to wonder what is up and will text you. If he is not interested then you would not have made a fool of yourself.

If he does get in touch again then I think you should be pleasant but a bit vague. Do what others say and go out with friends, dont wait around for him. If he asks for a date on a particular day say you are out that night but dont tell him where and say you could perhaps do later in the week.

I think he was trying to impress you and saying foolish things but then somehow got the message that you were keen on him. Maybe he thinks you are out of his league and that was why he was saying the things he was. Whatever you do, don't chase him, that is the worse thing you can do. There is a book called The Rules that is worth reading which has a lot of advice in it that is relevant today. It works.

System

Whatever you do, don't chase him

I totally agree with this. If he is interested he will keep up the contact. If he's not he wont.

Leave the ball in his court, youve texted him. Its down to him now.

Pink_elephants_n_lemonade

tesuhoha wrote: »

And that's the problem. Men like a challenge and enjoy a chase. I think the best thing you can do is stop texting. If he is interested then he will start to wonder what is up and will text you. If he is not interested then you would not have made a fool of yourself.

If he does get in touch again then I think you should be pleasant but a bit vague. Do what others say and go out with friends, dont wait around for him. If he asks for a date on a particular day say you are out that night but dont tell him where and say you could perhaps do later in the week.

I think he was trying to impress you and saying foolish things but then somehow got the message that you were keen on him. Maybe he thinks you are out of his league and that was why he was saying the things he was. Whatever you do, don't chase him, that is the worse thing you can do. There is a book called The Rules that is worth reading which has a lot of advice in it that is relevant today. It works.

^^^^^ I agree. Plus, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Keep your options open & go on a few more dates. There are plenty of nice guys out there, so don't feel you have to settle for the first one that comes along/shows you a bit of attention. Spend some time with your friends, relax, let your hair down, have fun & stop stressing

HeadAboveWater

I agree with tesuhoha, Judi and Pink_elephants_n_lemonade totally. Everything they said

burnoutbabe

I thought i'd give him another chance so i text him this morning to see how he is. I got a really enthusiastic reply back so i replied back to him and he's not bothered getting back to me!!!

He obviously lost interest which is fine but i told him before the date that if he isn't interested, at least would he tell me as i am not sensitive and he said he would but now it's like he's playing a mind game.

how has he obviously lost interest? he's probably busy at work or can't text back. maybe your last text didn't need a response as such.

DO you honestly think he was enthusiastic at 8am and then gone off you by end of the day? you haven't acted interested in him much, so he's probably waiting to see how the land lies. if you want to see him again ask him.

VestanPance

tesuhoha wrote: »

And that's the problem. Men like a challenge and enjoy a chase.

Some men do, some men don't.