Advice...First date.

tuftyclub

anychance (and sorry if this has been suggested it's a long thread..) that it is a different person, somebody's mate doing all the hard work up front to get his hapless pal a date, then the pal takes over and screws up?

Phone guy is not date guy?

WelshBluebird

He does sound a little odd, though if you are still interested I would say give him another chance. Us guys get nervous too you know. When I met my gf for the first time (we "met" each other online, then met up 3 weeks later) I was quite awkward and quiet because I was so nervous. The second time we met I was fine.

londonsurrey wrote: »

If he's mid 20s-30s, and inexperienced, then I'd look out for a syndrome that affects social development. One possibility is high functioning Asperger's Syndrome.

Bit of an assumption there. Can't agree at all.

totheleft

He hasnt rang me since Sat but has text and made small talk but not as sweet as before.

Shall I take that as a hint he's not interested? I was abit critical about how I thought our date went but didnt say i didnt like him so don't know if he's behaving that way because of that. He promised after the date he would tell me if he wasn't interested but now I'm just confused.

Im going to ask him tonight what's the sketch.

I hate the dating game

I_wanna_live_for_free

I think you're over-analysing this now. Why not go out and do something else tonight rather than wait for him to phone you?
He's already got you on a string, hasn't he!

I can understand you wanting to know where you stand, been there, got the t-shirt but honestly, obsessing over this is going to do you no favours.

Get out there, enjoy yourself with friends, and if he wants to meet up again you'll have (new) things to talk about and other interests.

HeadAboveWater

I_wanna_live_for_free wrote: »

I think you're over-analysing this now. Why not go out and do something else tonight rather than wait for him to phone you?
He's already got you on a string, hasn't he!

I can understand you wanting to know where you stand, been there, got the t-shirt but honestly, obsessing over this is going to do you no favours.

Get out there, enjoy yourself with friends, and if he wants to meet up again you'll have (new) things to talk about and other interests.

I agree. Show him that you've got a life already, and he'd be a bonus if things worked out, instead of your life revolving around him. In saying that, he should have the decency to let you know if he's not interested instead of keeping you hanging.

Ever watched that film 'He's Just Not That Into You'? Rent it tonight along with a few girlies. Big chocolate bar. The usual! Honestly, you will have SUCH a laugh! I remember first time I watched it I though 'ooooooooooooooooooh now I get it!!' lol

Not saying this is the case. I'm saying you need a girlie night and forget about him for a while

londonsurrey

kathy_virginvie wrote: »

Ever watched that film 'He's Just Not That Into You'? Rent it tonight along with a few girlies. Big chocolate bar. The usual! Honestly, you will have SUCH a laugh! I remember first time I watched it I though 'ooooooooooooooooooh now I get it!!' lol

I just picked up the book, and am halfway through it. It is funny, and does make a lot of sense.

Basically, if he doesn't bother, there are lots of unweird men out there who will bother!

go_cat

There's probably another thread somewhere on here with the title " OMG totally ****ed up my date, is she still interested"

Seriously he is probably feeling really awkward now you say his texts aren't as sweet maybe yours aren't either!!

I would take the plunge ask him for coffee again then you will know if he still interested / wether he is still arrogant and if he says no you know your answer

podperson

Giving the guy the benefit of the doubt - he's been chatting to someone he thinks he gets on really well with, you meet up for a first date, which is awkward in any situation, but then you barely talk for most of and him being young and inexperienced gets more and more nervous and starts blurting out anything that pops into his head. I know some very sweet guys who end up going into 'word vomit' mode when they get nervous.
Then he texts you afterwards to see how you thought it went and you say, if not in so many words, that you didn't think it was great. Sounds to me like he would be too nervous in that situation to ask you out again in case you said no - but if he wasn't interested that why would he still be texting you? If you do want to give him a second chance then perhaps try and be a little encouraging - something like, I know it was a little awkward last time but I think it usually is when people meet up for the first time, I'm sure it would be better next time.
Of course, I could be wrong and he could just be an arogant jerk - but since you were getting on so well on the phone I would say it's worth a few hours of your time to meet up again to find out one way or the other.

burnoutbabe

I'd definitely say give him the benefit of the doubt, you sound yourself like a nightmarish first date and most guys wouldn't bother keeping in touch after if you just didn't speak to them at all.

I've done the online dating, its a bit awkward but you just need to get on with it, chat to them, what the worse that can happen, you never see them again?

Birdie85

podperson wrote: »

Giving the guy the benefit of the doubt - he's been chatting to someone he thinks he gets on really well with, you meet up for a first date, which is awkward in any situation, but then you barely talk for most of and him being young and inexperienced gets more and more nervous and starts blurting out anything that pops into his head. I know some very sweet guys who end up going into 'word vomit' mode when they get nervous.
Then he texts you afterwards to see how you thought it went and you say, if not in so many words, that you didn't think it was great. Sounds to me like he would be too nervous in that situation to ask you out again in case you said no - but if he wasn't interested that why would he still be texting you? If you do want to give him a second chance then perhaps try and be a little encouraging - something like, I know it was a little awkward last time but I think it usually is when people meet up for the first time, I'm sure it would be better next time.
Of course, I could be wrong and he could just be an arogant jerk - but since you were getting on so well on the phone I would say it's worth a few hours of your time to meet up again to find out one way or the other.

^^^ Agree with this!

Apologise for being too shy to talk and suggest a second date. What's the harm? He was probably so nervous he started rambling, his mates would have told him to talk himself up to you and he got carried away. You've probably shaken him by being so quiet on your date then being less than enthusiastic about it afterwards. Ask him out, go somewhere like a museum/zoo/cinema etc where you don't have to sit and talk constantly and make an effort to talk to him, it's not fair to expect him to do all the work then complain because he gets flustered!

I think you're probably making it sound worse than it was by quoting him out of context to us all too. The whole 'amazing name' thing for instance, you say it was in response to you commenting on how unusual it is so he either loves his unique name (nothing wrong with that, I loved my maiden name, and it's better than someone moaning about hating it!) or was making a little joke about it that you misread as arrogance.

If he's still an idiot on the second date then leave it there, at least you won't be left wondering about the what-ifs.