Chronic Anxiety & Depression - ESA?

princessdon

I'm certainly not saying you should return to work gingergee - but pointing out that "comparisons" are part of the problem when it comes to benefits.

It's hard when you don't walk in those shoes to understand

Eg if I said to you. I have worked since 15 - had very little time off on the sick (2 days in total) yet a thinking about giving up work and going onto ESA support group, you'd think - Hold on that is for those that can't work.

Actually looking at the disciptions - I'd be able to do so.

Muttleythefrog

MacMickster wrote: »

I have a friend...

Super post... yes... I suspect people looking in.. if I allowed it... would see similar. Unfortunately, as per your experience, MH professionals get the same presentation (except they're unlikely to turn up to your home)... and I would say from my limited experience they are utterly useless in removing the mask. In fact some of my problems have been caused by MH professionals lacking imagination and skill. As I said to one of them... I'm well presented and on time.. if I wasn't well presented and on time you wouldn't be seeing me. And as I said to another... after 20 years of practicising the art of illusion I'm pretty good at it.

Yesterday I for the first time employed a window cleaner... well yesterday was the first clean anyway... immensely anxious event... and of course it meant I had to conceal myself in a room and pretend I was out..so blinds shut in bedroom and stay in bed. Fortunately he came in the morning at 11am when I was in bed anyway. Possibly like you friend... emotional ties (which any relationship with another brings.. even just exchanging pleasantries) are largely avoided because they place demands upon you that you know sustaining will become difficult and therefore revealing.

Anubis_2

MacMickster wrote: »

I have a friend who developed chronic fatigue syndrome and depression. I was someone who was previously extremely sceptical about ME and chronic fatigue syndrome but have now come to understand how debilitating this can be.

A number of people say that....until they are touched by ME in some way like you have been.

ME is only one of the conditions I have - it is a very debilitating and misunderstood condition and has also seen fatalities - some very young in life due to the deterioration it causes to the body.

More is being discovered thankfully. It used to be said MS and similar was "all in the mind" and not organic, and people were sceptical about that too, but now it is accepted.

ME will hopefully go the same way. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

skintandscared_2

Muttleythefrog wrote: »

Yesterday I for the first time employed a window cleaner... well yesterday was the first clean anyway... immensely anxious event... and of course it meant I had to conceal myself in a room and pretend I was out..so blinds shut in bedroom and stay in bed.

If it puts your mind at rest, slightly, I have no mental health issues whatsoever and I do that too

MacMickster

gingergee wrote: »

I could do with friends like you!! At min i can go days only seeing my OH and the kids. Keep up the good work x

Make a point of contacting your old friends and explain the effects of your illness, and that despite these you would still like to keep in touch.

Whem my mate stopped coming out we eventually got sick of asking him and just assumed that he had found other people to hang around with. If he had let us know about his problems (probably particularly difficult for a bloke to do) then we would have tried to do something for him earlier.

Anubis_2

MacMickster wrote: »

Make a point of contacting your old friends and explain the effects of your illness, and that despite these you would still like to keep in touch.

Whem my mate stopped coming out we eventually got sick of asking him and just assumed that he had found other people to hang around with. If he had let us know about his problems (probably particularly difficult for a bloke to do) then we would have tried to do something for him earlier.

But equally it is hard for your friend. The same has happened with me over the years, I used to be the life and soul and was invited everywhere. Now only close friends invite me but they know the chances of me going are zero.

I prefer to hide because there is only so much of "not doing good" or "sorry I am not feeling up to it" that you can stand saying to people close to you, and it makes you feel awful when you keep being invited knowing you can't go.

earthbound_misfit

ineed wrote: »

So true, what I really struggle to understand is why anyone would not want to work. I mean theres been talk of these claimants just doing "fun stuff" (going to gigs, cinema, etc) all the time, but surely that becomes tiresome after a while. I mean when you don't have a Job or college/uni to attend, in my experience life becomes a bit pointless. Days bleed into one another, time is sort of disjointed and meaningless. You run out of things to talk to people about, you feel a bit pointless. Or is that just me? .

I suppose it depends what stuff you enjoy doing, what you get satisfaction from, and of course what job you are doing. For example, I know many creative people who do mundane jobs like shelf-stacking to pay the bills, but spend hours outside work writing/playing music, painting, making furniture, making clothes/jewellry etc... Ultimately they would like to earn money doing the things they are interested in/good at; some already are making at least part of their income this way, even if it is paying less hourly than minimum wage.
I myself am on ESA due to mental health problems, and I do struggle to do my usual hobbies like sewing, painting and writing - but these are relatively fun and absorbing for me personally to do, and much more so than any job I've had. The sort of things myself and friends talk about is a darn sight more interesting (to me) than the gossip about celebrities etc that was the usual topic of conversation at work. But of course it is each to their own; and one definitely has to make more effort to go out and about if not in a standard place of work, just to get out and interact with the world.
It's worth pointing out that people with recurring illnesses or disabilities are also going to struggle with education and training, and especially with 'working their way up' to a more fulfilling job. So suitable work may be further out of reach than any old job - I think this is probably especially true for mental health problems.

Another thing that came up to do with a claimant going interailing... with HRC and HRM of tax credits it is very questionable (they should surely be on a lower rate at least). But I have suffered bouts of severe depression (usually reactive and trauma-related) yet have been backpacking around Asia for months at a time - although I worked to save up for the trips, I was always getting fired on mental health grounds, only kept jobs a few months. Yet I was 'fine' off travelling for 6 months. One time I even went away for a month (using previous savings) during a period off work sick (I suspended my IS claim during this month).

The thing is, what does someone have to do when in work, and what do they have to do on a holiday - and where do their problems lie? Everyone differs in what they thrive on and what they find stressful. On my trips, I rarely had to be anywhere at a specific time, and when I did eg. for a flight, it was a one off thing, not repeatable day after day (In the same way I will pull out all the stops to make sure I attend a close friend's birthday or a therapy appointment). I could do what I wanted, when I wanted. Also, at work you have to concentrate all day, which I really struggle with - catch an early flight and you can sleep or daydream or whatever.
The nights I had nightmares or woke anxious at 4am, I could sleep in the next day. If I broke down and cried, I could generally get to a private place in time unlike in the workplace, and nobody minded; I didn't get fired from backpacking! For the first few days I would struggle to sleep or eat, sick with nerves and horribly homesick (the first time I went away was with someone else or I'd never have dared). In a job this would be noticeable, especially the lack of concentration, and the sort of thing that got me dismissed. When away, I sometimes felt overwhelmed, dizzy and panicky, and would read the signs and jump in a cab back to my guesthouse (budgeted for this). In a workplace that is not acceptable. (Although I receive LRM DLA which provides a similar 'escape route' here and enables me to push boundaries of what I can do on any given day.)
In addition, when away there's all the things like sunshine and interesting places and new experiences and people that generally give anyone a boost.

Not saying there aren't people who might play it a bit, but I believe they are in the minority. I would much, much rather be fine and rid of these problems and able to work (and work my way up to satisfying job!) than have benefits money.

OldMotherTucker

gingergee wrote: »

Have you got it too? x And that generally sums me up. When im entering a bad moment i feel like im losing control. So i try taking it back by "tarting" myself up. Wearing a mask, as it was!! x

Lupus is a real 'different every day' illness so i've just learnt to take it one day at a time.

Erratic is word often used to describe me:D


(but when I'm on form I can do more than your average person so I guess it evens itself out at the end of the day!:p)

ineed

earthbound_misfit wrote: »

I suppose it depends what stuff you enjoy doing, what you get satisfaction from, and of course what job you are doing. For example, I know many creative people who do mundane jobs like shelf-stacking to pay the bills, but spend hours outside work writing/playing music, painting, making furniture, making clothes/jewellry etc... Ultimately they would like to earn money doing the things they are interested in/good at; some already are making at least part of their income this way, even if it is paying less hourly than minimum wage.
I myself am on ESA due to mental health problems, and I do struggle to do my usual hobbies like sewing, painting and writing - but these are relatively fun and absorbing for me personally to do, and much more so than any job I've had. The sort of things myself and friends talk about is a darn sight more interesting (to me) than the gossip about celebrities etc that was the usual topic of conversation at work. But of course it is each to their own; and one definitely has to make more effort to go out and about if not in a standard place of work, just to get out and interact with the world.
It's worth pointing out that people with recurring illnesses or disabilities are also going to struggle with education and training, and especially with 'working their way up' to a more fulfilling job. So suitable work may be further out of reach than any old job - I think this is probably especially true for mental health problems.

Another thing that came up to do with a claimant going interailing... with HRC and HRM of tax credits it is very questionable (they should surely be on a lower rate at least). But I have suffered bouts of severe depression (usually reactive and trauma-related) yet have been backpacking around Asia for months at a time - although I worked to save up for the trips, I was always getting fired on mental health grounds, only kept jobs a few months. Yet I was 'fine' off travelling for 6 months. One time I even went away for a month (using previous savings) during a period off work sick (I suspended my IS claim during this month).

The thing is, what does someone have to do when in work, and what do they have to do on a holiday - and where do their problems lie? Everyone differs in what they thrive on and what they find stressful. On my trips, I rarely had to be anywhere at a specific time, and when I did eg. for a flight, it was a one off thing, not repeatable day after day (In the same way I will pull out all the stops to make sure I attend a close friend's birthday or a therapy appointment). I could do what I wanted, when I wanted. Also, at work you have to concentrate all day, which I really struggle with - catch an early flight and you can sleep or daydream or whatever.
The nights I had nightmares or woke anxious at 4am, I could sleep in the next day. If I broke down and cried, I could generally get to a private place in time unlike in the workplace, and nobody minded; I didn't get fired from backpacking! For the first few days I would struggle to sleep or eat, sick with nerves and horribly homesick (the first time I went away was with someone else or I'd never have dared). In a job this would be noticeable, especially the lack of concentration, and the sort of thing that got me dismissed. When away, I sometimes felt overwhelmed, dizzy and panicky, and would read the signs and jump in a cab back to my guesthouse (budgeted for this). In a workplace that is not acceptable. (Although I receive LRM DLA which provides a similar 'escape route' here and enables me to push boundaries of what I can do on any given day.)
In addition, when away there's all the things like sunshine and interesting places and new experiences and people that generally give anyone a boost.

Not saying there aren't people who might play it a bit, but I believe they are in the minority. I would much, much rather be fine and rid of these problems and able to work (and work my way up to satisfying job!) than have benefits money.

Well yes I think that's basically what I and everyone else have said, it's good that your able to go on holidays etc so your not stuck at home, but I and others couldn't dream of doing something like that . With my problems and medications I find it difficult to go down stairs in my house let alone outside. I'm due some tests next week and I have to go out for those but I'm bring taken and brought home, then the next day I need more tests but at home. I'm dreading it tbh, it's going to take forever for me to get there and back.

I find reading does really help keep boredom at bay and also music, video games if i can manage it, etc. I also have a massive DVD and Blu ray collection so that helps me take my mind off of things. I have diplomas etc in art and design because I was training to be an architect before my illnesses really took hold, but when I'm better I no longer wish to do this, I'm going to re train as an art therapist so I can help others like myself.

pipkin71

ineed wrote: »

Well yes I think that's basically what I and everyone else have said, it's good that your able to go on holidays etc so your not stuck at home, but I and others couldn't dream of doing something like that . With my problems and medications I find it difficult to go down stairs in my house let alone outside. I'm due some tests next week and I have to go out for those but I'm bring taken and brought home, then the next day I need more tests but at home. I'm dreading it tbh, it's going to take forever for me to get there and back.

I find reading does really help keep boredom at bay and also music, video games if i can manage it, etc. I also have a massive DVD and Blu ray collection so that helps me take my mind off of things. I have diplomas etc in art and design because I was training to be an architect before my illnesses really took hold, but when I'm better I no longer wish to do this, I'm going to re train as an art therapist so I can help others like myself.

I am able to take holidays - short stay with the very real possibility of having to cancel.

I can take my children out to fun places, although I can't join in with many, but I have fun anyway.

As things progress though, I find more and more I am unable to do much and spend more days stuck in the house than I used to.

I haven't been to the cinema in such a long time as it is too painful to sit for long periods, although I have done so, by taking extra drugs for that moment. Anything for my girls to have as normal a life as possible.

It just seems to be getting harder.

Thankfully, my mind is not disabled and I am still able to ensure my children receive their education.

I too, do look at the things some people say they can't do, when they actually are doing them if it is in the name of fun, but then, for a while, a few on here were convinced I was a fraud, even though they only saw a fraction of what was happening in my life. I don't really talk much of the bad stuff, but may post that I took the girls horse riding, for example.

I can say I have a bad back, and we know what reaction that stirs up, but I have much more than a bad back. The problems with my back affect my hips, my leg, my foot amongst other things.

It is difficult to know what else is going on when someone posts their fun days out but, at the same time, I can see where there are contradictions so agree with what many here have written.