Strop over stag do...unreasonable?

Sambucus_Nigra

pelirocco wrote: »

The groom doesnt want you there , get over it

The groom doesn't know about the stag do at all.

It's not hard is it? Read words and respond.

Rather than read words and completely fail to establish the basics, and respond completely missing the point.

pelirocco

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

The groom doesn't know about the stag do at all.

It's not hard is it? Read words and respond.

Rather than read words and completely fail to establish the basics, and respond completely missing the point.

You assume the groom hasnt said he wants men only?

Ok her OH doesnt want her there , is that better?

Sambucus_Nigra

pelirocco wrote: »

You assume the groom hasnt said he wants men only?

Ok her OH doesnt want her there , is that better?

He doesn't know he is even having a stag do. Her OH thinks it might offend some 'men' if she goes. However nobody has actually been asked yet.

Any other threads you want summarising?

picklepick

This is so frustrating!

1. GROOM HASN'T PLANNED HIS STAG
2. OP'S OTHER HALF HAS PLANNED STAG
3. OP SHOULD BE HACKED OFF WITH OTHER HALF IF HE'S EXCLUDED HER, NOT ANYONE ELSE.

Edited to add:
4. GROOM KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT STAG. (very important part)

Easy.

kizzie_nikita

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Because people aren't going to randomly pay that much money to travel from all over the country just because it might be fun. Gatherings like this generally happen for a reason.

HBS x

PS. Do most people ever read original posts thoroughly?

No, apparently not, i have seen this too.

I understand where you're coming from. I don't see the harm in girls at stag dos etc etc.
I hope you get to go through!

Edit- I dont think you're unfair in any way for wanting to go, but i guess when i get married me and my OH will have mixed stag/hen dos.

theoldcynic

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Am I being unfair to be in a bit of a strop about not being invited to the stag do?

Well I hate to say it but yes I think you are.:o

You say you haven't been invited yet and you are in a strop about it but you do not know if the stag does not want any females there yet. IMO it is unreasonable to get into a strop over something that hasn't happened yet.

Your OH has been left to make the arrangements and you choose to get involved and seem to be using that as a reason to be invited too. It doesn't sound like your help is entirely altruistic at this stage.

You use the other example that other friends have mixed stag/hen dos and you've been a best man before so therefore it appears that you feel that it is your right to pass judgement on how others would like to conduct their arrangements with no real respect for their own wishes.

Have you asked yourself how the bride to be might view you attending a stag do? How can you be sure she would be ok with this if you barely know her?

Do you not think that this might be an occasion where you can try to get to know the bride to be better by perhaps seeing if you can attend the hen do instead?

There will be a big wedding party for you to attend i'm sure, and I bet there will be plenty of occasions you won't be invited to after they have got married as happens with married couples mixing friends etc. I think you need to take a step back, be a good friend and follow your friends wishes whatever they are. Plenty of people have all male stag or all female hen dos don't take it personally, it's one of those things and it is your friends right to do as he wishes.

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I've always been quite open-minded on wedding preps

You say you are open minded but it appears you are not open minded to a same sex stag do.

Let it go.

BTW I had 3 hen dos! One for female friends, one with family and one with my male bezzie mates! I'd be really upset to think that one of my best mates got so wound up over it, not that i believe any of them did.

heartbreak_star

The bride knows me as a friend of her husband-to-be, I think I mentioned she probably assumes I'll be on the stag do!

I'm not really opposed to same-sex stag or hen parties, they just bemuse me a bit because it's not what I'm used to and it seems very old-fashioned in this day and age...unless there's something to be hidden?

HBS x

shellsuit

heartbreak_star wrote: »

The bride knows me as a friend of her husband-to-be, I think I mentioned she probably assumes I'll be on the stag do! How would you know she would assume this if you hardly know her? If you know her enough to know what she would assume, surely you know her well enough to do the decent thing and attend her hen night so you get to know her even more before the big day.

I'm not really opposed to same-sex stag or hen parties, they just bemuse me a bit because it's not what I'm used to and it seems very old-fashioned in this day and age...unless there's something to be hidden?

HBS x

It's simple. You ask your OH to ask the groom if girl 'friends' are OK to go to the stag do.

If your OH wants to keep it as a suprise for a groom, then it looks like you won't be going.

Errata

picklepick wrote: »

This is so frustrating!

1. GROOM HASN'T PLANNED HIS STAG
2. OP'S OTHER HALF HAS PLANNED STAG
3. OP SHOULD BE HACKED OFF WITH OTHER HALF IF HE'S EXCLUDED HER, NOT ANYONE ELSE.

Edited to add:
4. GROOM KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT STAG. (very important part)

Easy.

I was hoping someone would post an Executive Summary
Isn't the modern way to have a Hen night, a Stag night and a Sten night, so nobody gets left out, nobody gets bum ache, nobody has a strop or a sulk 'because it's so unfair'.

Lovelyjoolz

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Go to strip clubs. Get drunk. Do stupid things. Say stupid things. Embarrass themselves.

LOL! My male friends are quite happy to do that in front of me. :rotfl:

And yes, that does mean that I go to strip clubs. And no, that doesn't mean I'm gay.