Strop over stag do...unreasonable?

heartbreak_star

Junesong, that sounds cool - maybe they won't be too hung over for it Finally I'm making sense to someone!

HBS x

cathy_j87

I can understand why you would be upset, but unfortunately I think it's just one of those things! Could you maybe try and organise a breakfast/brunch/lunch the next day to catch up with the friends that won't be at the wedding?

My OH is having a female friend as "best-man" so I had expected his stag to have guys and girls at but she's been so entirely useless she hasn't organised a stag do! After a bit of gentle pushing OH had a night out at a gig with some friends and is going to play snooker with the dads and brothers tomorrow night.

On the hen-do front you may be surprised. I've heard of hens which would make stags cringe! It depends what kind of girl she is I suppose.

picklepick

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Truth be told - if it was up to the groom there wouldn't be a stag night. He tends to go with the flow on everything (the bride has single-handedly organised the wedding) and I don't think he even knows he's getting a stag night - this has all been me and my OH sorting this.


HBS x

I still don't understand, if you and OH are organising it and the groom has had no input, why didn't you make it mixed gender? Who exactly is OH asking 'if it's ok'? The rest of the stag party - What's it got to do with them? If he's organised it, then it's up to him who to invite surely?

If the groom had given him a guest list then that's entirely different, but he hasn't

junesong

Yeah its definitely hard when you're friends with guys! If your up for it you could even have them stay the night before?

In my situation the guy in question had said at one point maybe I should have been the best man! He was my oldest friend who had introduced me to my oh, who ended up being the best man! In the end I didnt even get to go to his wedding thanks to a dreadful snowfall!

heartbreak_star

I just don't know her well, and her friends at all, and that would make me feel very uncomfortable. They're also quite feminine and slim and pretty and girly and I'm not any of those things!!

Picklepick - yeah, he's asking the rest of the stag party...some of them can be a bit "ew! A girl!" but they've never been like that with me...usually I get invited on lad's nights instead of girl's nights out! ha ha! Well it's up to the OH I guess - I told him I didn't see why it couldn't be mixed gender, and I bet at least one of them asks where I am if I don't go...

HBS x

Torry_Quine

heartbreak_star wrote: »

*sigh* if you read my original post...I have been a best man, organised a successful stag do (with people of both gender in attendance), and have attended both stag and hen dos in the past, hence my surprise at the outcome of this.

Seems like people aren't as open-minded as I thought - and if you check my opinions on feminism which are plastered all over the boards I'm pretty equalitarian. Incidentally, the groom knows nothing about all this - the best man is organising it (who happens to my OH). I also fear that if I am actually invited to the hen night I won't know anybody and it'll just be sitting around watching chick flicks and !!!!!ing.

Hope that's clarified things a bit.

HBS x

I did read the original post but just because some people have both men and women doesn't mean that everyone does. I've never heard of mixed sexes at hen/stag dos. It's not a case of us being open-minded but your boyfriend who is organising it!

stir_crazy

We're having the typical girl's only hen and boy's only stag. OH's female friend asked if she was coming along to his stag do and he told her that it was boys only - he thought the whole thing would be weird with girls there, and they are just going to the races and doing some sort of football thing. TBH I hadn't thought about mixed sexes as to me the whole point of the stag/ hen nights are to be the "last night of freedom" sort of thing. Obv that's not everybody's view but it seems to be your OH's or groom's point of view or I think you would have been invited. I wouldn't get upset about it.

Edit: I also agree with Torry_quine - I've not met anybody who has had a mixed stag/hen/hag do except on MSE, so maybe your OH haden't thought of having girls there before you mentioned it.

bryanb

If you're a girl, how come your first post says you've been a best man?

heartbreak_star

Torry Quine - See now I think you see what I'm getting at - the affront is because all of a sudden something seems to have changed and it's bemused me!

Believe me, I won't let it affect how I feel about the wedding. I very rarely take strops and never visibly.

BryanB - because my friend asked me to? Maybe I should have put best "man" instead of best man.

stir_crazy - I don't think I'd be so bothered if I knew the bride well, and I feel a bit sad for your OH's female friend too.

Edit: I know it's not personal...I just feel sad that everyone is getting so excited about it and I can't

HBS x

stir_crazy

I can see entirely where you're coming from HBS, I would be a bit confused too. If you're that desperate to go then ask your OH to ask whoever it is he needs to ask.