Strop over stag do...unreasonable?

picklepick

stir_crazy wrote: »

I can see entirely where you're coming from HBS, I would be a bit confused too. If you're that desperate to go then ask your OH to ask whoever it is he needs to ask.

This is why I'm still confused.... who does he need to ask???

heartbreak_star

I think now I've had a rant I feel a bit better in some ways...maybe I needed to just go "AAARGH" over it and had nobody to go to?

One of the stag party actually asked me if I'm coming. Lol.

I'm sure all will be well and I'll either go or organise something for myself for that night, I was (still am?) angry and needed a vent.

HBS x

heartbreak_star

picklepick wrote: »

This is why I'm still confused.... who does he need to ask???

Because some of the guys coming up from down south don't know me very well and he doesn't want to offend them, I think.

Never mind I feel a little better now I've vented.

HBS x

picklepick

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Because some of the guys coming up from down south don't know me very well and he doesn't want to offend them, I think.

Never mind I feel a little better now I've vented.

HBS x

Right, ok. I wouldn't give two toots about offending other people. He's organising it, he can invite who he likes, I didn't consult other members of my hen do who else I invited. Are there other girls that might want to go too?

heartbreak_star

There's one other girl that does want to go and at least 2 others who are keeping quiet but would jump at the chance if invited.

Bah. I'm simmering down now. I don't want to upset the apple cart and would rather be sad myself than annoy anybody else. I'll firmly make it clear that at least me and one other girl would like to go and leave it at that.

HBS x

Lovelyjoolz

*Holds hand up* Here's another woman who has been to several stag do's. I'm stunned that Torry Quinne and Stir_crazy have never heard of it because it's fairly common. It just happens that way when men and women are best friends. What's so strange about that??

A Stag (or hen)-do is meant to be a celebration with the stag (or hen)'s closest friends. If those friends are of the opposite sex, then why wouldn't they be at the do?? It seems more weird to me that the OP should celebrate with the bride when she is not a close friend of the bride. That would be very odd!!!

Heartbreak Star - to be perfectly honest, in your position I would be having a strop with my OH. You've already said that the Groom is too laid back to be that bothered, but would he be surprised to see you there? I expect not, as you're such good friends. Especially as I'm sure he knows how much you LOVE paintball! I think he'd probably be more surprised if you weren't there. You've already said that some of the other stags have asked if you are going, so it seems to be generally accepted that you are. The only person I can see who's preventing you going is your OH. Girl, you need to call your man into line and tell him you are going. End of.

Sambucus_Nigra

heartbreak_star wrote: »

There's one other girl that does want to go and at least 2 others who are keeping quiet but would jump at the chance if invited.

Bah. I'm simmering down now. I don't want to upset the apple cart and would rather be sad myself than annoy anybody else. I'll firmly make it clear that at least me and one other girl would like to go and leave it at that.

HBS x

If the groom is chums with several gals; then just ask him what is happening for his female friends who won't be attending the hen night...he'll probably be expecting you to be there rather than be sat at home being glum.

heartbreak_star

Thanks Joolz and Sambucus... I shall maybe prod my OH tonight. With beer...

Joolz - I'm so, so glad it's not just me that's been on stag dos and holds the opinion that it's friends of the bride and groom rather than "the girls and the boys"!

HBS x

stir_crazy

Lovelyjoolz wrote: »

*Holds hand up* Here's another woman who has been to several stag do's. I'm stunned that Torry Quinne and Stir_crazy have never heard of it because it's fairly common. It just happens that way when men and women are best friends. What's so strange about that??

A Stag (or hen)-do is meant to be a celebration with the stag (or hen)'s closest friends. If those friends are of the opposite sex, then why wouldn't they be at the do?? It seems more weird to me that the OP should celebrate with the bride when she is not a close friend of the bride. That would be very odd!!!

Maybe its quite common except in our area. I'm from the same area as Torry Quine (I'm guessing from her user name). All I'm saying is that I hadn't heard of it. If OH had wanted his friend there I wouldn't have had a problem with her going.

Like I said in my post above, to us its the last night of freedom sort of thing. Traditionally its the boys and the girls separately. If some people choose to have mixed then thats up to them, we chose to have ours separately.

Torry_Quine

Lovelyjoolz wrote: »

*Holds hand up* Here's another woman who has been to several stag do's. I'm stunned that Torry Quinne and Stir_crazy have never heard of it because it's fairly common. It just happens that way when men and women are best friends. What's so strange about that??

A Stag (or hen)-do is meant to be a celebration with the stag (or hen)'s closest friends. If those friends are of the opposite sex, then why wouldn't they be at the do?? It seems more weird to me that the OP should celebrate with the bride when she is not a close friend of the bride. That would be very odd!!!

Heartbreak Star - to be perfectly honest, in your position I would be having a strop with my OH. You've already said that the Groom is too laid back to be that bothered, but would he be surprised to see you there? I expect not, as you're such good friends. Especially as I'm sure he knows how much you LOVE paintball! I think he'd probably be more surprised if you weren't there. You've already said that some of the other stags have asked if you are going, so it seems to be generally accepted that you are. The only person I can see who's preventing you going is your OH. Girl, you need to call your man into line and tell him you are going. End of.

I don't think it's strange to have friends of the opposite gender, just to have them at a stag/hen night. A stag/hen do is supposed to be same sex. There's nothing wrong with having both men and women but in my opinion that isn't a stag/hen do.:o


I agree though that the person she needs to speak to is the boyfriend.