help!!13yr old daughter talking to strangers on internet

Gleek

laurel7172 wrote: »

I'm a 44 year old woman, and I would (and have) cut all contact immediately with someone who made excuses about why they didn't have a phone. It's a sure sign something dodgy is going on. And *no* 12 year old has a laptop and no telephone.

At the outer edge of paranoia, maybe the boy and his parents were photographed or have had their profiles copied by some creep staking out the hotel?

Changing the password on the router is a good idea, but unless you live in a very rural area, probably not enough. Not everybody secures their network and she may well be able to use a neighbour's: I have three unsecured networks in range as I type. Confiscation is the only way.

Good luck.

Yup, you have to have a phoneline to have the internet in the first place. (talking straight forward broadband, not the dongle stuff etc)

Stay well clear - with the webcam stuff, something's really not right.

Sambucus_Nigra

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

have just tried to reason with her without shouting and shes still not having it have told her i dont mind her talkin to her friend but not their parents until she gets to know him better but she still not having it.............grrrrrr when did parenting become so hard

Stop reasoning. Turn the internet off. It's easy - pull the plug out of the hub. Take all computer equipment off her. End of.

Until she calms down, and will sit and talk about it - she is proving that she cannot discuss the issue and hence, is just proving that the internet is not safe in her hands.

You need to lay down the rules again - which includes if you do not have her password she does not have internet. Simples.

tyllwyd

Another thing that is puzzling me about this story - the OP says that the boys parents were asking to webcam. Does that mean they have a joint Facebook account? Because 'my boyfriend's parents want to webcam with me' sounds more reassuring to a 13 year old than 'my boyfriend's dad wants to webcam with me'.

1886

I think the request to your daughter to go on a web cam with the boys parents is very odd, alarm bells ringing for me. I would be very concerned. It is possible that the 'boy' she has been talking to has been following their instructions..

I`ve been watching a programme on Sky recently where 19 men in three days turned up to a house to meet a 12 year old girl, only it was a sting operation, she did`nt exist. You need to be very careful who is out there

Sambucus_Nigra

tyllwyd wrote: »

Another thing that is puzzling me about this story - the OP says that the boys parents were asking to webcam. Does that mean they have a joint Facebook account? Because 'my boyfriend's parents want to webcam with me' sounds more reassuring to a 13 year old than 'my boyfriend's dad wants to webcam with me'.

There is alot puzzling me - I would perhaps let her webcam, whilst being in the room and whilst also recording this webcamming. But that would only be after calming her down and making sure she was part of and 100% behind this sting operation that I would pull.

Also, why on earth would a 13rd old WANT to talk to boring old adults? Adults are notoriously dull, as shown time and time again on here. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Mojisola

gairlochgal wrote: »

I think it's crucial to stay in charge and help them manage the boundaries and don't fight about it but simply take the control away from them if they can't manage it responsibly. The thing with the boy's parents is odd - if it were my dd I'd suggest she came down and had the webcam chat in the kitchen so I could keep an eye.

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

There is alot puzzling me - I would perhaps let her webcam, whilst being in the room and whilst also recording this webcamming. But that would only be after calming her down and making sure she was part of and 100% behind this sting operation that I would pull.

Would you consider this? It would be a way of showing her how to manage risks and will give her ways of keeping herself safe in the future when she's using the internet without supervision.

Toomuchdebt

I would suggest allowing her to webcam but with you in the room-but as long as she doesn't tell the boy or his parents that you are there.They then may try something and you can in the nicest way say I told you so.I won't allow any of my kids to go webcam with anyone unless I am there, unless it's the 17 year old who has had a bf for 18 months and we all know him very well.

ciderwithrosie_2

Sorry but no beating about the bush, I would be contacting the parents of this boy direct and asking them why they are wanting to webcam your daughter.

GobbledyGook

Re the whole webcam thing, my daughter met another child at a schools event and they keep in touch via email. When they wanted to chat on MSN (my daughter keeps in touch with her cousins via MSN, but I know the password - she doesn't so I have to log her in) I insisted it was on webcam because then I could see (as could the other parents, who thought it was a good idea when I suggested it) that it was another child she was speaking to.

From now on I would only allow them to chat on somewhere like MSN with the webcam on so that I could be sure it was another child she was speaking to and not adults.

Gavin83

Maybe the boys parents have the same concerns and therefore want to confirm it's a 13 year old girl their son is talking to.