help!!13yr old daughter talking to strangers on internet

laurel7172

Gavin83 wrote: »

Maybe the boys parents have the same concerns and therefore want to confirm it's a 13 year old girl their son is talking to.

That would make what the parents said to the OP quite odd. Young people do acquire new friends, and responsible parents check each other out, albeit with varying degrees of shiftiness and embarrassment. As this is sleepover central, I've been through the spectrum, from the cheerful "Hi-hope you don't mind, but I've come to meet you." to "Ermm...I'm...C's mum...erm...erm..." I can't imagine any caring parent objecting to another parent checking their child is safe.

claire16c

Gavin83 wrote: »

Maybe the boys parents have the same concerns and therefore want to confirm it's a 13 year old girl their son is talking to.

I thought the same thing until I read the response they gave her.

Either theyre incredibly rude idiots, or therye not really the parents.

Only way to find out would be the webcam.

Stephb1986_2

Something sounds fishy to me about the parents wanting to see her on webcam they sound like right weirdo's.

If I was you I would take the internet off her! She's clearly playing you and your ex against each other many kids from broken families do this for attention. I don't understand why they made a law to stop smacking kids (not beating mind you) because some kids are really short of it, I was smacked as a child and it never did me any harm.

Steph xx

Gavin83

Stephb1986 wrote: »

If I was you I would take the internet off her! She's clearly playing you and your ex against each other many kids from broken families do this for attention. I don't understand why they made a law to stop smacking kids (not beating mind you) because some kids are really short of it, I was smacked as a child and it never did me any harm.

Steph xx

There is no way a responsible parent should be smacking their child because they say they don't like their step parent. Absolutely no way what so ever.

I also don't think smacking is suitable for a 13 year old, they're too old.

[Deleted User]

Gavin83 wrote: »

There is no way a responsible parent should be smacking their child because they say they don't like their step parent. Absolutely no way what so ever.

I also don't think smacking is suitable for a 13 year old, they're too old.

But that's not what steph said, she was merely saying its bonkers that since smacking has been banned, kids have increasingly little respect for discipline or authority. Hence the situation the OP is now in, as the child is playing one parent off against the other.

She isn't even saying you should smack children just that discipline and expectations have lowered so much since smacking has been banned, that children now believe that they can tell their parents what they want to do. If its not allowed, they throw a strop and the parents are expected to give in.

Well that was my take on her offering anyway

Gavin83

It was the mention of playing her and her ex off against each other and the OP saying the ex says that her daughter mentioned her partner that made me think it was aimed that way.

I actually don't necessarily think smacking should be banned either but this isn't a suitable situation for it.

Errata

a) smacking hasn't been banned
b) many 13 year olds are taller and heavier than the parent smacking them and may win the fight on points

edgex

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

That could explain why the boy's alleged parents requested the initial webcam contact but cannot explain to me why they have told the OP that she should let a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL have her privacy and be let to live her own life. That' just not plausible whichever way I try to look at it.

None of this is adding up and the laptop, phone and tablet would have been confiscated some time ago. Regardeless of the ex's or the child's tantrums or threats. In fact threats would just confirm to me why my actions were correct in the first place.

can anyone point out where this was said?

i find the OP's writing on here to be terribly confused, & very difficult to follow the sequence of events, or who is telling who what to do

edgex

mrcow wrote: »

Ich wrote: »

I don't disagree that the request sounds odd and that her behaviour and that of the ex-husband is totally wrong. Change the router password so she cannot access the internet apart from your machine and password protect that!

Looking at it slightly laterally though, were the boys parents trying to protect him from anything untoward by wanting to ensure the person talking to their son was in fact a 13 yr old girl and not something else? This is why they might have reacted in a strange manner that the request was refused so may be thinking the worse themselves. Worth thinking about!

Then why did they respond the way they did? It makes no sense.

er, the OP hasnt made any mention of a response from the boys parents

all we know is that the boys parents requested that the girl go on webcam. thats the last communication from them.

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

she also has facebook on her phone as well as her tablet .....as i said if i delete her facebook i am in effect stopping her frm talkin to this boy she likes as well as he does not have a phone their only method of contact is facebook.....is sooooooooo hard....

seems to me that the boys parents are doing a better job with regards to their childs use of technology & the internet

edgex

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

what do your instincts tell you about their conversations? My 15yo daughter is paranoid about me seeing her FB convos but I genuinely think they're fairly innocuous. She's just not like that (I can see all the doubters shaking their heads knowingly!) - she's no angel but she is sensible.

Maybe some of the more techy people on this thread can answer if deleted messages can be read?

im assuming facebook messages?

if thats the case, depending on a few things, yes they can still be read

(if anyone wants to know how, they can PM me)