help!!13yr old daughter talking to strangers on internet

BitterAndTwisted

In your position I would not be cowed by any threats of her going to live with her father unless it is he who has volunteered this information. Still, threats are a million miles away from reality. If you don't agree to her going then go she will not. She'll just have to stay where she is and deal with it. It's a common ploy to do stuff like threatening to go to the other parent when kids don't get the answers they want from one but that doesn't mean that she will be welcome there after past performance. I'd just sit and ride this one out for a bit. Every single comment or threat does not demand a response. Sometimes no response is the wisest course.

Sambucus_Nigra

Absolutely - let her rant then don't respond and put the tea on.

amyloofoo

claire16c wrote: »

I thought the same thing until I read the response they gave her.

Either theyre incredibly rude idiots, or therye not really the parents.

Only way to find out would be the webcam.

^^^^ agreed ^^^^

There's not really a situation where what's happening here is okay. Either they have ulterior motives or they're rude and unpleasant people, not sure I'd want my 13 year old talking to them either way. It would be different if she was 17, but there are very few things an unrelated adult can want to talk to a 13 year old girl without the knowledge of her parents for without being unpleasant.

Blue_Elephant

you say your ex has current OHs kids living with him? How old are they? Maybe ask him if their OH thinks it's reasonable to "webcam" with adults they don't know?

Or maybe let your daughter read this thread. She really doesn't understand why you're being so difficult. Dad is just trying to gain points with her. And don't most little girls idolise their dads anyway?

Speaking of which, it might sound a little strange, but why don't just the 2 of you go shopping together for a fathers day gift? and some coffee and cake. Show her that you are not going to sabotage a relationship with her dad, and that you want to spend some time with her.

cottonhead

Your daughter souhnds angry and like a typical teenager doenst want to be told what to do and luckily for her she has the option of some great amunition - telling you she is moving in with her dad. She probably wont.
I agree that you cant be too careful with the internet, The 'parents' might not be parents at all. Eve if they are why would they put pressure on a child to use a webcam. I am a bit old fashioned but I really dislike all this social media ( says me talking on a forum ! ) because its dangerous and seems to cause so much bullying and exploitation as its so anonymous and not policed.
I would explain the reasons. Remove the webcam and only allow her to use the internet in a public room like the kitchen where you can see it anytime you walk by. If she has nothing to hide she wont mind. Better have a few arguments and tears now than risk your daughters safety. You are doing the right thing and more parents should have the same concerns as you. Stick to your guns. Dont debate it. Your deicion is final and for a very good reason. Big bar of chocolate in the meantime and Im sure it will blow over.

GobbledyGook

It sounds like there is a lot going on in your lives at the moment. Could she just be an already slightly selfish teenager (as they all are, as we were) feeling slightly more hard done by than usual because of a perceived lack of attention because of how busy you are?

VikkiiKawaii

I haven't read the entire thread and don't know if this has been suggested yet, but you could do what my Mum asked me to do to my younger sister and block her on the router from websites she didn't think were appropriate, in my sister's case Habbo Hotel. I then set the page to redirect to the thinkuknow website, hoping she'd learn something from the site.

jetplane

q8sire wrote: »

I would recommend a key logger for her computer. It logs what she types PM me I will direct you free of charge

Bearing in mind that this thread includes dodgy internet activity are we really going to PM a newbie who will direct us to a key logger :eek::eek::eek:

amyloofoo

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

well think i have managed to get the woman to back off from my daughter after threatening her twice with going to facebook and the police it seems she has deleted my dd....however my dd now thinks i am the devil incarnate and apparetly has decided she wants to go live with her dad now as me and my oh are sooooo unreasonable and horrible parents...i admit we do shout at her more often than my youngest two that are 9 and 4 only because she doesnt listen and backchats more....she thinks we treat the youngest ones special and her like a 'piece of poo' as she puts it

apprently her dad has already agreed to let her move in with him even though he has his gfs three kids living there already...

she moved in with him about 2 yrs ago and stayed there for a mnth then decided she wanted to come home so i cant believe my ex is allowing this to happen again....pls the fact she has end of term exams soon

am sitting here in tears as i reallllllly dont know what i can do any advice wud be appreciated thanks

I know it's upsetting but she'll be home soon enough. The best thing you can do is just allow her to go and stay with her dad... if she thinks she has it hard now then wait until she's living with his girlfriend and her 3 kids :rotfl: I'm sure she'll be home in a couple of weeks having 'seen the light' and may well be prepared to be a little more reasonable. If nothing else, you can be confident that you did the right thing, you've protected your daughter from what could have been a very unpleasant situation and sooner or later she'll thank you for it.