help!!13yr old daughter talking to strangers on internet

scooby088

Only thing I would do is get my hammer out of the toolbox and smash laptop, mobile phone then she will realise you mean business.

Ich_2

I don't disagree that the request sounds odd and that her behaviour and that of the ex-husband is totally wrong. Change the router password so she cannot access the internet apart from your machine and password protect that!

Looking at it slightly laterally though, were the boys parents trying to protect him from anything untoward by wanting to ensure the person talking to their son was in fact a 13 yr old girl and not something else? This is why they might have reacted in a strange manner that the request was refused so may be thinking the worse themselves. Worth thinking about!

mrcow

Ich wrote: »

Looking at it slightly laterally though, were the boys parents trying to protect him from anything untoward by wanting to ensure the person talking to their son was in fact a 13 yr old girl and not something else? This is why they might have reacted in a strange manner that the request was refused so may be thinking the worse themselves. Worth thinking about!

Then why did they respond the way they did? It makes no sense.

msflowerfairy

So your Daughter has only had FB to FB contact with this "boy" and has never met him in person?
That would worry me considerably.

Can you get into her email account, and find her new password for FB?
If you can get this, you can delete the FB account, and then set parental privileges to prevent the CHILD from accessing websites to prevent her from re opening her account.
Once her FB account is deleted she will be unable to use them on her phone, and tablet.

Please don't be offended, but your child is 13 years old, she is not a young adult, and as such should be treated as a child and take direction from you. No questions asked.
(I know easier said than done)
I wonder what else she has been up to without your knowledge?

VJsmum

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Also, why on earth would a thirteen your old be trusted with internet access on her phone as well as having a tablet? That's just asking for trouble.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks letting a 13 year old have a smartphone and a tablet is OK - why on earth should they need that? My 13 year old (admittedly a boy) has neither of those and my DD only got a smartphone at 15, once I knew she was sensible - and the minute I get unfriended on facebook or twitter is the minute that gets taken away.

I would take away the laptop, smartphone, tablet - anything she can use at home for FB - perhaps for a particular time period, say a month? or till the end of term? Hopefully by then the desire to communicate with them will have worn off anyway. Homework requiring internet can be done with you watching over her. Trust has to be earned.

BitterAndTwisted

Ich wrote: »

Looking at it slightly laterally though, were the boys parents trying to protect him from anything untoward by wanting to ensure the person talking to their son was in fact a 13 yr old girl and not something else? This is why they might have reacted in a strange manner that the request was refused so may be thinking the worse themselves. Worth thinking about!

That could explain why the boy's alleged parents requested the initial webcam contact but cannot explain to me why they have told the OP that she should let a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL have her privacy and be let to live her own life. That' just not plausible whichever way I try to look at it.

None of this is adding up and the laptop, phone and tablet would have been confiscated some time ago. Regardeless of the ex's or the child's tantrums or threats. In fact threats would just confirm to me why my actions were correct in the first place.

DuckEggGingham

I also wondered at first if the boys parents wanted to confirm that he was indeed talking to someone of his own age and not anyone unsavoury but after reading the first post again it seems the kids met on holiday so I am assuming the parents know / have seen the OP's daughter already, so for me the requests to webcam are very odd and usually most 'normal' ( sorry for using that word lol!) parents would know such a request would set alarm bells ringing which makes their actions very strange!

bonjovibel_729

she is now on the phone to her dad tellin him how unreasonable i am grrr

jason1231972

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

That could explain why the boy's alleged parents requested the initial webcam contact but cannot explain to me why they have told the OP that she should let a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL have her privacy and be let to live her own life. That' just not plausible whichever way I try to look at it.

I read it as the daughter's own dad or the daughter herself requesting the right to privacy, rather than the mysterious boy's parents. Dunno, maybe I've missed something.

Anyway, bit fishy and definitely a weird request for the other parents to want to cam with a very young teen, but perhaps there is some truth in them wanting to be certain about their son's security. If so, they've gone about it in a weird way, though!

DuckEggGingham

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

she is now on the phone to her dad tellin him how unreasonable i am grrr

I am hoping she has resorted to using the phone because she cant get access to the net

She WILL look back on this one day and cringe at her behaviour and even thank you in a roundabout way! I promise! My eldest is 19 and oh my...the woes and wails we had from her when we were being "ridiculous" were something to write about lol! She now "gets it" Well, mostly lol!

You are doing your job, you are keeping her safe.