help!!13yr old daughter talking to strangers on internet

VitaK

Uninstall the webcam software, tick some boxes in the webcam settings or delete some drivers.

In 5-10 years time she will thank you.

bonjovibel_729

grrr she has just come back from exes house with another laptop he has let her "borrow" i said she cud have it as long as i can disable webcam and she threw a fit sayin daddy has told her i cant stop her from talking to anyone and that i cant check her facebook anymore grrrrrrrrrrrr

BitterAndTwisted

[QUOTE=bonjovibel_729;5369367
Her reply to this was that she is old enough to decide for herself and that I should back off and let her live her own life without me checking up on her...[/QUOTE]


This is NOT an appropriate response from the parent of a twelve year old boy. I am absolutely certain that you have not been communicating with one of his parents.

"I think she has deflected the attention from the problem in hand to my OH as she threatened me if i told her dad what was going on she would make up some stuff about my OH cos she knows my OH and my ex don't get along."

I think you're absolutely correct at this attempt at deflection. I reckon she's as guilty as sin and knows precisely what she's been doing is wrong. It wouldn't surprise me at all if something rather questionable has been going on during these webcam sessions.

I would NEVER be cowed into submission by idle threats from a child. Never.

green1970

The use of the internet is a privilege - you set out rules and she broke them so the consequence should be the loss of that privilege for a set amount of time with renewed rules once she wins back that privilege. I've done this with my daughter before when she started adding 'friends' that she'd never had a face to face with after I'd told her that she couldn't do this. Got onto the router and bounced her internet access for a month. If she wants to be able to use the internet, there are rules unfortunately.

Valli

Triker wrote: »

Take the laptop away or the desktop, remove all access including mobile phone. Assert yourself as the parent in charge who will not have your decisions around internet safety undermined.

Perhaps ground your daughter so she understands the severity of the situation for a short period.

Bottom line is what her safety is paramount and contrary to popular teenage belief they don't know everything and we are not all boring and over cautious.

I speak from experience unfortunately....take a look here and maybe get your daughter to see.....http://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/ from the Child Exploitation and Online Protection organisation.

absolutely...

ah now I read she's borrowed a laptop.
she using a router?

Change the P/W on YOUR router

DuckEggGingham

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

grrr she has just come back from exes house with another laptop he has let her "borrow" i said she cud have it as long as i can disable webcam and she threw a fit sayin daddy has told her i cant stop her from talking to anyone and that i cant check her facebook anymore grrrrrrrrrrrr

Take it off of her and return it to him. Don't worry about the nagging you are getting from all 3 corners..the only corner you need to be in and worry about is your daughters. You need to keep her safe, she is obviously to irresponsible to do that herself.

I would then be calling the ex hubby when daughter is not around with a few choice words! What these parents have done by requesting this of your daughter is very strange and no one would think you odd if you reported their behaviour, it is that much of a BIG deal. He needs telling!

thistledome

OP, I also think you're right to trust your instincts. Don't underestimate the manipulative skills of some people. They are very good at making people (i.e., concerned parent) feel like you're the one in the wrong or are being ridiculous.

I find gut instinct is often dead right and shouldn't be ignored.

shebangs

Id take her web access away by changing the passcode to the router, the boys parents may have wanted to webcam chat for a number of reasons maybe they dont type so well and dont get teen lol brb etc so chatting on a webcam is easier for them but that said if you ask them to stop and they got funny I would still be annoyed. Daddy may have given her a laptop but he doesnt pay your internet bill so you can still restrict access to that and if you pay for her mobile id take that off her to

id let her watch last weeks casualty... it certainly gave the 15 year old in my life some food for thought about why we are so strict about the internet and strangers!

BitterAndTwisted

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

grrr she has just come back from exes house with another laptop he has let her "borrow" i said she cud have it as long as i can disable webcam and she threw a fit sayin daddy has told her i cant stop her from talking to anyone and that i cant check her facebook anymore grrrrrrrrrrrr

Daddy can say what he likes but he's not living in your house. Your house, your rules. She can throw all the fits she likes but you are the parent and you are in control but only if you want to be.

I would never, ever be dictated to by a child. That's one battle which will only ever have one loser and that won't be you.

mrcow

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

grrr she has just come back from exes house with another laptop he has let her "borrow" i said she cud have it as long as i can disable webcam and she threw a fit sayin daddy has told her i cant stop her from talking to anyone and that i cant check her facebook anymore grrrrrrrrrrrr

Just disable her internet. Password protect your router and don't give her the pasword. Job done. Fat lot of good having a webcam will do then.


Then wait until everyone is calm and talk it through. These other parents sound like a couple of weirdos.