Allowance for clothes

carolan78

milliebear00001 wrote: »

It's true that sometimes these things come from nowhere. However, it's also true that little girls have some pretty pernicious influences these days. It's also true that physical appearance is projected as more important than ever - especially for girls.

It might be that you have a budding fashion designer on your hands, or just somebody who expresses her personality through her clothing choices, but I think, on balance, I would be inclined to keep taking her shopping and buying the clothes myself, rather than give her control over this one. Just because I wouldn't want (at this stage) to encourage her to believe, any more than she already does, that clothes are in any way important, and that there are other ways she might want to explore to express her individuality and creativity.

Cloths are important to his DD though, she gets enjoyment from them. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, and she isn't following the fashion she has her own fashion which to me is something to be nurtured and may be the very thing that steers her away from the over priced tat a lot of teenagers desire.

Lotus-eater

milliebear00001 wrote: »

It's true that sometimes these things come from nowhere. However, it's also true that little girls have some pretty pernicious influences these days. It's also true that physical appearance is projected as more important than ever - especially for girls.

It might be that you have a budding fashion designer on your hands, or just somebody who expresses her personality through her clothing choices, but I think, on balance, I would be inclined to keep taking her shopping and buying the clothes myself, rather than give her control over this one. Just because I wouldn't want (at this stage) to encourage her to believe, any more than she already does, that clothes are in any way important, and that there are other ways she might want to explore to express her individuality and creativity.

Thankyou, a balanced reply at last.

I think the control over the clothes is still something we would have, it's not like she can wear what she wants, when she wants.
More that she can only afford certain clothes, when she can afford it and in that way, I must admit, I am coming round to the idea.

green1970

Wow, I'm surprised at all these responses, if the OP was thinking about spending that money on a horse riding lesson or ballet lesson or something, I'm sure it would be different. I'd buy her a really beautiful art book and encourage that creativity, get her to draw and stick pictures, fabrics, ideas in there and then take her shopping once a month so she can bring her ideas to life. She sounds great at bargain hunting so it'll be way cheaper than conventional 'hobbies'. I wouldn't do anything to stifle her ideas at the moment. Just my opinion!

Lotus-eater

carolan78 wrote: »

Eeek I wasn't expecting to read quite so many against posts after reading the OP. My DD is 6 and sounds just like your daughter. She has a lot of input over her wardrobe. She picks out the clothing and anything I deemed not to be age appropriate or too expensive get veto'd.

She also isn't fashion lead but she knows what she likes and has done for at least the last 2 years. She also understands sometimes she can't have what she likes because it is too expensive. personally I don't think giving her the £10 clothing allowance will change anything in your situation other than she will learn over time how to make it stretch that little bit more.

Yes, that's exactly what I am hoping too!

carolan78 wrote: »

Cloths are important to his DD though, she gets enjoyment from them. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, and she isn't following the fashion she has her own fashion which to me is something to be nurtured and may be the very thing that steers her away from the over priced tat a lot of teenagers desire.

Again, that's what I'm hoping too!
It would be nice, I don't want a label orientated teenager to deal with, although obviously that's with the gods

She does do her own thing now and I'm hoping by encouraging her, she will be her own person later when she goes to middle school and the pressure to conform to the norm will be negated.

Lotus-eater

green1970 wrote: »

Wow, I'm surprised at all these responses, if the OP was thinking about spending that money on a horse riding lesson or ballet lesson or something, I'm sure it would be different. I'd buy her a really beautiful art book and encourage that creativity, get her to draw and stick pictures, fabrics, ideas in there and then take her shopping once a month so she can bring her ideas to life. She sounds great at bargain hunting so it'll be way cheaper than conventional 'hobbies'. I wouldn't do anything to stifle her ideas at the moment. Just my opinion!

£10 a month doesn't go very far towards a horse riding lesson or ballet, besides she tried the ballet and didn't like it, she'd love the horse riding, but we just can't afford it, so I didn't want to send her on a taster, because it's just not fair. She's tried horse riding before on a friends horse and she loved it, it's my one big worry, or guilt, I just can't afford to send her to horse lessons I just can't.

She's got the art book and loves sticking things in it

jayII

I'm also astonished at all the against replies.

I allowed my children to help choose their clothes from an early age, partly because they went shopping with me, partly because I respect that every individual has their own tastes in colour, style and so on.

I wouldn't have given mine a clothing allowance but you know your child better than anyone else. I imagine she could have a lot of fun, and learn a lot about making her money stretch, especially if you do a lot of shopping in charity and other inexpensive shops.

MandM90

My DD is 4 and, when not in uniform, I let her have a little input into what she wears and sometimes what we buy her, even if it's just holding up two dresses and letting her choose. I might sound like a bit of a hippy here, but I think that nurturing a childs individuality and interests are important. If she enjoys creating outfits and styling herself, there's no reason why that's any less valid an interest/hobby than art or singing. I'd object to a 'sliding scale' argument of choosing clothes at 8 will lead to dressing like a 20 year old at 10. OP has said nothing to say his DD chooses inappropriate clothes, and maybe letting her choose with parental guidance - rather than choosing for her then suddenly giving her free reign at 12/13 - might mean she's taught to choose age appropriate things.

I remember as a child being horrifically embarrassed, sometimes, by what my mother dressed me in and it led to a bit of a clothing rebellion when I got a Saturday job in my early teens and would dress to offend my mother on purpose. Other, more 'cool' mums kept going shopping with their daughters right through the teenage years and probably actually had more input overall from giving a little free rein in the early years.

OP I think if you're both in charge of the money, and you're just putting a limit on how many bits she can by and making her aware of the cost I see nothing wrong with at least trying the idea.

Molly41

I am also aghast at all the negative responses. I also let my kids choose what they wanted to wear from an early age, also their hair styles and whether they had their ears pierced or not. My kids have their own individual style of dressing now they are older which I love to see. Why would you not encourage someone to express their individuality? I agree that the sexualisation of children via their clothes is an issue that every parent has to keep a firm eye on but not at the expense of stamping out the individual.

FBaby

at first I read you were considering £10 a week allowance and I thought that Saad easy over the board but £10 a month I don't see anything wrong with that. What I don't understand is why you can't just give her pocket money and then she can do what she wants with it rather than a clothes allowance. I would definitely encourage the artistic side of it though rather then the cosmetic one.

munchings-n-crunchings

My daughter was 9 when I decided to give her a form of allowance.
Being autistic, I wanted her to grasp everyday things like using and managing money, it's a life skill, and so applies to everyone. It was paid into an account that gave her a card, but these are now from 11 years upwards. Banks like Natwest do children's savings account with online access, so it would be a good way of starting, using modern technology.

I set a sum of £10 per month, but would give little bonuses in recognition of achievements. On starting secondary school it went to £15 per month, not a lot but it's something of her own. More recently at 15, she had wages of £40 plus her pocket money. I pay for her activities like drama lessons, but gifts and cinema trips is her responsibility

I have never regretted starting my daughter on an allowance. It has taught her about using a debit card, keeping receipts, checking her bank statements, and now online banking.
Now, when she wanted an expensive jacket, I went with her, whilst she asked if they would let her pay in installments, and every month on payday, in she went and all of her pay when towards this jacket, until the day she made the final amount, and proudly brought that jacket home, not once asking me to help her out.

Think about what you would like to achieve. To learn the value of things and budgeting are two important things. I would think about giving a little extra, so she can buy the gift for a best friends birthday or something like that, so money is not just about what we buy for ourselves, but little things for others. Call it what you like, but if life skills are being taught in the process, it's not a bad thing at any age,

Regards
Munchie