Allowance for clothes

faerie~spangles

Sorry op but I think your making a rod for your own back. A clothing allowance for an 8yr old?!?!?

What next a pampering allowance when she's 10?

What will happen to her expectations if your circumstances change and you can no longer feed those allowances?

Lotus-eater

faerie~spangles wrote: »

Sorry op but I think your making a rod for your own back. A clothing allowance for an 8yr old?!?!?

What next a pampering allowance when she's 10?

what will happen to her expectations if your circumstances change and you can no longer feed those allowances?

Well we'd probably spend that on her anyway, so just allowing her to see what things cost, would enable her to see the cost of things and choose what she really wanted.

I don't think a pampering allowance is going to happen, if she wants to save up her pocket money for it, that's her business, but it's going to take alot of weeks for a pedicure lol.

If our circumstances change, then obviously we have to review things.

poet123

I think it is not so much what it is for or how much, but the expectation of input that an eight year old is given. In later years that expectation or entitlement to have her choices accepted may turn to insistence about other issues. Really, this seems to me to be a very unwise path to start down so early.

Up to you of course, but once you set a pattern, foster an expectation, it grows legs, and before you know where you are the issues become more important, especially when the teenage hormones kick in!!

milliebear00001

I have absolutely no problem with an eight year old learning responsibility with money - or giving her an allowance. If she were mine though, I might be a bit more concerned about why she cares so much about external appearance. If I thought giving her money might encourage this concern, then I'd probably not give it to her to be honest. Why do you think such a young child cares so much about the clothes she wears?

faerie~spangles

Lotus-eater wrote: »

<snipped>

If our circumstances change, then obviously we have to review things.

By then it may be too late and you have created a demanding monster.

What's cute in an eight year old ain't cute when she's a hormonal demanding teenager:)

Northern_Princess

faerie~spangles wrote: »

By then it may be too late and you have created a demanding monster.

What's cute in an eight year old ain't cute when she's a hormonal demanding teenager

I completely agree with this :T I am the mother of a hormonal teenager :rotfl:

Lotus-eater

milliebear00001 wrote: »

I have absolutely no problem with an eight year old learning responsibility with money - or giving her an allowance. If she were mine though, I might be a bit more concerned about why she cares so much about external appearance. If I thought giving her money might encourage this concern, then I'd probably not give it to her to be honest. Why do you think such a young child cares so much about the clothes she wears?

I don't know tbh, neither her Mum or I care that much how we look, We had the discussion yesterday about people who diet too much and are concerned about how thin they are, she was astonished, but we had to have it because my Mum keeps going on about dieting all the time, she only sees my Mum a few times a year, but it had to be said.

She. just. likes. clothes..... she wants to be a teacher, but I can see her being a clothing designer before that ever happens.

Nothing we are going to say is going to take it away, she is what she is. It's going to be interesting to show this thread to her Mum in the morning, as she wanted me to post this and I think assumed it would go her way and most people would be in favour of the allowance (on paper).

I come from a line of clothing sellers/makers and doers, I was the black sheep and ventured into engineering, my OH isn't into fashion at all, I've no idea where my DD got this from, but it does seem that blood runs deep.

Lotus-eater

faerie~spangles wrote: »

By then it may be too late and you have created a demanding monster.

What's cute in an eight year old ain't cute when she's a hormonal demanding teenager:)

It's not cute at all, nothing to do with cuteness. In fact being cute is the furthest from my mind.

I understand about the teenager bit and it's a good reminder, we have all that to go through and I know my sisters were some of the worst, so I'm guessing she will be the same.

It's good advice, so thankyou.

milliebear00001

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I don't know tbh, neither her Mum or I care that much how we look, We had the discussion yesterday about people who diet too much and are concerned about how thin they are, she was astonished, but we had to have it because my Mum keeps going on about dieting all the time, she only sees my Mum a few times a year, but it had to be said.

She. just. likes. clothes..... she wants to be a teacher, but I can see her being a clothing designer before that ever happens.

Nothing we are going to say is going to take it away, she is what she is. It's going to be interesting to show this thread to her Mum in the morning, as she wanted me to post this and I think assumed it would go her way and most people would be in favour of the allowance (on paper).

I come from a line of clothing sellers/makers and doers, I was the black sheep and ventured into engineering, my OH isn't into fashion at all, I've no idea where my DD got this from, but it does seem that blood runs deep.

It's true that sometimes these things come from nowhere. However, it's also true that little girls have some pretty pernicious influences these days. It's also true that physical appearance is projected as more important than ever - especially for girls.

It might be that you have a budding fashion designer on your hands, or just somebody who expresses her personality through her clothing choices, but I think, on balance, I would be inclined to keep taking her shopping and buying the clothes myself, rather than give her control over this one. Just because I wouldn't want (at this stage) to encourage her to believe, any more than she already does, that clothes are in any way important, and that there are other ways she might want to explore to express her individuality and creativity.

carolan78

Eeek I wasn't expecting to read quite so many against posts after reading the OP. My DD is 6 and sounds just like your daughter. She has a lot of input over her wardrobe. She picks out the clothing and anything I deemed not to be age appropriate or too expensive get veto'd.

She also isn't fashion lead but she knows what she likes and has done for at least the last 2 years. She also understands sometimes she can't have what she likes because it is too expensive. personally I don't think giving her the £10 clothing allowance will change anything in your situation other than she will learn over time how to make it stretch that little bit more.