Burial of a Miscarried Baby Advice Please

aliasojo

Ditto the above gt.

Thoughts are with you.x

beautiful_ravens

Oh.. Hugs x My friend delivered a stillborn 8 month baby, he was named and registered and buried. Im not sure they had a wake as such afterwards, but Im pretty sure no one will judge whatever you decide to do - tea, coffee, a few biscuits and sandwiches should be fine. x

fawd1

I should start by saying how sorry I am for what you and your family are going through. A miscarriage is always devastating, never mind when it has happened at so late a stage and to so young a girl. In response to your question though, I'm not sure that there is a protocol. There certainly wouldn't be a right or wrong way to do things. Maybe ask your daughter and her boyfriend what they would like to happen. It could be that they would like to spend time with their families, having everyone together, or it could be that they just want to be alone. I say let them lead the way. And if they do want to have people for drinks etc, but then change their mind at the last minute that's ok too. As its just for family, there should be no pressure on anyone in regards to protocol.

mandi

Hello Gravity ,

My you are having a bad time at the moment :A

Firstly you reacted like any mother would do in the same situation and you should never ever feel any guilt that this has now happened .. It was natures way , nothing you could ever have done would have stopped the outcome .. remember that .


Your daughter needs you for emotional support and I'm sure after reading your posts over the years that you are an amazing mother and will be there for her as & when she needs you .

Whatever you decide to do no one will judge you if its tea & biscuits or a few sandwiches just do what you want to do .

Finally I want to say so sorry this has happened and if you need some support over the next few weeks & months, we'll be here for you .:A

kaya64

very sorry you are all going through this, a funeral is very important as its a chance to say goodbye, my friends recently lost their baby daughter at 20 weeks also and they had a buffet after the funeral,but it is everyone's choice .

the baby was still a little person and by the sound of it very much loved by its parents . I hope whatever you all decide to do ,will go smoothly and that the love you share as a family will hold all of you close and comfort each other through this sad time.

lots of love to you all especially your daughter and her boyfriend.

xx

kate1976

Again I have no advice but couldn't read and run, what a tragic time for all involved, please don't beat yourself up though you're going through enough turmoil! Huge hugs to you all, especially your poor daughter, so much heartbreak at such a tender age! Be there for each other and don't worry about the small stuff! xx

GlasweJen

My work colleague had a still born baby, the burial was followed by soup, sandwiches, tea and coffee at her mums house. The poor woman was devastated, I hope your daughter is ok. Has she been offered any counselling? My colleague said the counselling saved her.

flowertotmum

Hi..firstly i am so sorry for your dd's loss...and yours too..this happened to my eldest dd not too long ago..and tbh all you have to do as mum is just totally be there for your dd..whatever the time and whatever she wants to do,scream,shout,cry you let her do it..its better to let it all out than keep it in..
Secondly..just small buffet style food is acceptable..as no one will have an appetite but plenty of tea and coffee..
I think the idea of SANDS it a good idea..my dd has had counselling and still has it once a month and it helps.
thinking of you and your family
ftm

CruisingSaver

As others have said I don't think anyone will be expecting much more than a brew and a sandwich/biscuit.

As a Mum to a nearly 13 year old daughter, your post really struck a chord with me and I'm so sorry that you are all having to cope with such a sad situation.

You sound like a wonderfully supportive Mum to me and your daughter is going to need you more than ever over the coming weeks and months.

Huge hugs to you both.

CS xx

clairec79

The choice should be up to your daughter and her partner, when my brother and partner lost their son at 39 weeks they decided they didn't want a wake as 'the baby's never going to be old enough to have a drink so it seems wrong' - whilst offering for people to come back to the house is a good idea, they may feel they don't want a full wake and tea and biscuits to be enough