Having a baby and a toddler - really how difficult is it?

Spendless

My DD was born a few weeks after my DS turned 3 and I did find 2 more than double the work of 1. A lot of this was due to lack of support. My husband changed jobs to one where he worked away a lot more and my Nan and MIL who were both people who helped me out had serious health problems. As hubby was earning more we could afford to put eldest who was always a 'live-wire' into private nursery a few sessions per week and as she turned 6 months old, DS went to the local school nursery 5 afternoons per week and when she was 18 months he went to f-time school so both got similar amounts of time when it was me and just 1 of them at home thru the day. I didn't want a gap much bigger than what I have (financial, housing and medical issues meant there wasn't a smaller gap) as my only sibling is 7 years younger than me and I don't feel we could share that many experiences eg if we went to a fair, there wouldn't be many rides we could or would want to go on together, by the time she was 10 I wasn't going on family holidays anymore.

I do feel it was easier for me with a 3 year gap for my kids than it was for my friends who had smaller ones when they were babies/toddlers but I feel they have the advantage now, when there kids go off to Secondary school within a year or 2 of each other whilst I have a 3 year school gap.

Gillby1

Hi,

Just wanted to say that i think it largely depends on the type of person you are. I have a 9 month old and a 2 yr old with an 18 month age gap, and i haven't found it hard at all - despite my being incredibly ill for the first two months of the youngest's life, and the youngest having terrible eczema and various allergies. I love being at home with my two, and i found the first 6 months of my eldest's life more of a shock and a hard slog than the first six months with a baby AND toddler!! Am considering having a third in the near future, but DH might require a little more persuasion!!

Gilly

ymcas

I found going from 1 to 2 harder than goin from 0 to 1 child. Handy hint.... Potty train number 1 befor number 2 can crawl and put hands in potty!