Having a baby and a toddler - really how difficult is it?

Emmarillo

Mine have exactly two and a half years between them (not planned!) and it worked out really well. We had a couple of months at home altogether then the eldest went to preschool, so I had mornings with the baby, we picked up the eldest, then the baby would sleep while I had time with the eldest on her own. Then when the eldest started school it was time for the other to start preschool. It really did all work out perfectly. I can't really remember any chaos at all - mind you, both mine slept well and I think you can cope with anything if you're getting enough sleep. Sadly nowadays things aren't so easy. It's half term and the girls seem to have argued non stop - mostly about 'The Wanted'!

I would not say I'm a very ordered person but looking back I think we had a fairly strict routine when the children were little.

Go for it. Two children aren't much harder than one.

stunnoire

I had DD1 and DD2 13 months and 4 days apart,then added DS 27 months later. I was a single parent,but luckily didn't work full-time.
I "fondly" remember doing the nursery run,then the pre-school run then on to mother and toddler group several times a week.
Christmas was always a very busy time with 3 x Christmas plays and parties to attend! My 3 were good sleepers and were always in bed by 6.30 and would sleep for a good 12 hours.

Roll on to now;DD1 16,DD2 15 and DS 13. 3 under 4's was a breeze!

Routine,routine,routine was my saviour! Breakfast,dinner,tea,bath bed.........in that order......every day! I probably was a bit extreme at times with sticking to the same time for meals and sleeps etc every day,but I reaped the benefits and have mainly positive memories of my kids growing-up.

I say go for it

mydogberyl

I have six little darlings. The three youngest are still at home.
My twins were 19mths when the youngest was born and it wasn't a problem. I just relaxed into it and I'm sure they copied me.
The hardest part is when their hearts are broken as teenagers. It's just heartbreaking to watch :-(

Molly41

I had four in under 5 years. It was hard work but we had a lot of fun and games along the way. I remember once that my HV popped in to find our tiny living room converted to a campsite on a wet day. The little one gets so much from having siblings to play with and stimulation. My kids are lost when they dont have each other around.

Routines are important - whatever that means for you as a family. The bits in between will just happen.

rpc

mildred1978 wrote: »

Because you can't reason with a 1 year old the way you can with an older child.

If you wait until child 1 is in school, so 4 or 5 years old, baby number 2 gets some decent 1-1 time too rather than everything being a compromise.

With that age gap, they will never be as close friends growing up and they could be with a closer age gap.

It's swings and roundabouts, there is no right answer.

We will have 3 under 2 next week... Aargh!

mildred1978

rpc wrote: »

With that age gap, they will never be as close friends growing up and they could be with a closer age gap.

It's swings and roundabouts, there is no right answer.

We will have 3 under 2 next week... Aargh!

I don't think that's true at all. I know twins who hate each other and people with 8 year gaps who have always been close.

As with everything relating to parenthood/kids, nothing is guaranteed!!

carolan78

I have 22 months between my two, they are currently 4 and 6. I wouldn't say it was much more difficult with two than one but I did breastfeed for a lot longer with the second. Mainly because I knew what I was doing and not worrying so much and it was a million times easier than making/cleaning/heating bottles and it also left a hand free to hold a book to read to DD.

kj*daisy

I have 3.5 years between mine, they aren't close but are different sexes so that may also have contributed. I just didn't want another for ages, felt like Mildred does, then suddenly changed my mind and wanted another. For me the bigger gap was easier but I think contributes to the siblings not being that close. So if you want another now - go for it.

themull1

I hated every minute of it, i used to cry i was so tired, come to think of it i still do.....kids are 13 and 10!! I would never do it again if i had the time over again. in fact i would be child free....

fluffnutter

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

And I'm broody as hell right now!

^^ This. You're 39 and you're broody. Just crack on, lovey. You'll cope. Even if you're exhausted, you'll not regret it.