PND - Help I can't cope!

abbecer

tesuhoha wrote: »

When I had my daughter I could feel myself getting down and I coped with it by having lovely daydreams about the future and by thinking how lucky I was. I suppose everyone is different but if you try to think about something pleasant and different it can bring you out of your black hole. It is not so much about seeing the bright side as being distracted from your misery. Sorry its hard to explain, but I think the more you dwell on depression the worse it gets. I have been very anxious and depressed in the past and I do know what its like but I have fought against it and fought my way out of it and refused to take drugs or accept the debilitating condition it can be.

I think you have been very fortunate that you could think positive thoughts to lift your depression. Certainly for myself and others i have encountered this has not been the case. Obviously i can only speak of my experience but positive thoughts never happened no matter how hard i tried to focus on the good things in my should be wonderful life. I fought against it desperately both times not wanting to 'give in' and go on medication. Medication should not be taken lightly but in certain situations it is the most powerful option. Without medication i have absolutely no doubt i would not be sat here now and my children would be motherless.

Rebecca x

ailuro2

Aw, so sorry to hear that, been there,done that,had the tear and milk stained T shirt.
Go and see your GP, he/she will get you help,both support help and prescription help.
You'd not walk around with a broken arm and not take medication for it, so please do phone your GP as soon as they open this morning.
I was put on medication and went to a support group when I had PND.They looked after the baby for an hour or so while the Mums sat and had a natter and a cuppa in the room next door.It made such a difference to me!
My sister ended up in a worse condition because she let it go on for longer and didn't tell anyone-but you have taken the first step, so go for it, there is nothing to be afraid of, remember it is just your hormones trying to get back to normal while you are looking after two small kids, you will feel normal again, honestly. Big hugs, let us know how you get on.

tesuhoha

Of course I was not suggesting for one moment that IA should not go to the doctor. I was just suggesting something that might make her feel more cheerful and distract her from her present situation. I still think that swaddling may cure the crying baby problem. Its not cruel; it helps to calm the baby.

immoral_angeluk

I've booked a dr appointment for tomorrow morning. I really don't seem to be coping well at all with K and after my complete meltdown yesterday which carried on into the evening Ste basically told me I had to go and see someone. My hv is in Malta (lucky cow) so am going to see a doctor I've been to a few times before who's nice and hopefully he'll be able to help. Could really do with Ste going with me but he's working. I might ask Ste if he can ask his boss to start a bit later so he can come with me.. think I might need the support...

Feeling a bit iffy about going as I feel ok this morning but then again K sleeps through most of the morning and it all seems to go pear shaped in the afternoons/evenings.

Will update on how it goes tomorrow morning. I told MIL as well today, but all she said was 'oh everyone gets it after their 2nd baby'. Yea thanks, MIL, that really makes me feel loads better. *sigh*

Karrie

I think the first step is admitting there is something wrong, which you have done. Knowing that you are not the only one to suffer from PND puts your mind at ease as well. There is help out there and take all you need. Well done and good luck.

Sus1e

Nothing to add in the way of advice.

I just wanted to say that I read your Diary on DFW page and think you are doing remarkably well with both the Debt and parenthood. Don't beat yourself up over something you can't help.

Hope the doctor gives you the support you need.

sticher

I have only 18 months between my 2nd and 3rd boys, so I know how tough it can be. I used to tell my Mum I 'hated' my youngest (Can't believe that now as he is an angel).

I agree with those who say get some help from your GP. I didn't and my feeling went on for almost 2 years. If feeding your baby helps, then do it or try boiled water - may be she is thirsty. All 3 of mine just wanted to be held all the time - not easy when you have more than one to cope with.

How about going out to the park or mother and baby group - or just for a walk - that used to help settle mine (although they always woke up again as soon as I arrived home).

Something else I heard about was to put baby in a chair in front of the washing machine - the noise apparently soothes them - haven't tested this myself but might be worth a try.

Most of all - it WILL pass.

Justie

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

I've booked a dr appointment for tomorrow morning. I really don't seem to be coping well at all with K and after my complete meltdown yesterday which carried on into the evening Ste basically told me I had to go and see someone. My hv is in Malta (lucky cow) so am going to see a doctor I've been to a few times before who's nice and hopefully he'll be able to help. Could really do with Ste going with me but he's working. I might ask Ste if he can ask his boss to start a bit later so he can come with me.. think I might need the support...

if he can't go with you then maybe write it all down before you go - I'm terrible for bursting into tears when I'm trying to explain how I'm feeling and then I get frustrated cos I can't explain it cos I'm crying so much...

hope you have a better day today but do go and keep the appointment even if you have a couple of better days.

RoCas

So glad you've booked an appt with your GP, i_a. Please keep it even if you're feeling a bit better ... it can't do any harm. A brilliant bit of advice from Justie - yeah, write it all down if you can bear to before you see the doc.

Do let us know how you get on.

Toto

I had 16 months between my girls, I don't actually know how the second one happened, I didn't go to bed for 5 months because DD1 was the baby from hell , she screamed 20 hours a day (no kidding) and the 4 hours she slept were 20 mins here and there, never in a block. I was exhausted and miserable. I had PND and felt like some kind of monster because my baby seemed to hate me and I couldn't make her happy.

I remember sitting in my garden at 4am one morning unable to get up and go back into the house because I knew she would be screaming, the garden was quiet and I must have sat there for well over an hour just crying.

I found after a while that she liked being on her tummy, so I would sit on the sofa with her on my knees rubbing her back, that quietened her down no end. Then I bought one of those battery swings, she loved that and would sleep for a good 2 hours at a time in there. As she grew older she cheered up a bit, she started crawling at 5 months and all the crying seemed to go overnight. She's 10 now and I often tell her i nearly took her back for a refund.

The GP will be able to help you with some pills, please try to remember that you are in no way alone, loads of us have gone through the deep dark hole and none of us are bad mothers. It's a chemical thing and youhave no control at all over that, even if you sometimes think bad things. Try to get some support, someone to have the baby for a few hours so you can get some rest, have a bath, do your hair, take a walk or watch a DVD with DD1. Let us know how it's all going for you.