PND - Help I can't cope!

Karrie

I was like when I was prescribed AD's but I couldn't let the situation get any worse. Looking back, they helped me a great deal. How does your OH feel about them?

immoral_angeluk

Don't know. He's at work and haven't spoken to him yet.

moozikgal

Maybe give them a try? Please dont feel like you have failed because you have been perscribed pills. They are there to help and sort things out as it can be a chemical imbalance which someone else has said.
If after a few days you dont feel like they are working, go back to the doctor and see him again. they are there to help you and he will not mind if you want to talk about things more.
Why dont you see if you can get somone to babysit for an evening or even a few hours in the day and you can go out. go swimming, or shopping but take some time just for you. If you can get an evening babysitter, gety your OH to take you out so its just the two of you and you can talk things through and this will give you a chance to have some one on one time with each other.

lebly

Hello glad you have been to docs. Please take the ads. You have been given them for a reason - to help you and help you feel better and get better.

As I said in earlier post pnd or any depression is a chemical impalance in the brain, the ads help to get the chemical balance back to how it should be.

There is nothing to be ashamed of, there are thousands of women out there like you and there have been millions before.

Take a deep breath and think as to why you went to the doctors, take another and think about how you want to feel, try not to focus on how you are feeling for a couple of minutes. That is a goal the getting to how you want to feel, you will need help to get there so plase just try the ads. Every one you take is a step a day closer to how you want to feel.

I suddnenly started to enjoy my children again and my husband my home etc etc, each day it got better, they are still little b***rs but hey thats children but now I can cope with it all, smile about it and smile about myself.

Good luckxx

Fritha_2

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

*copied from debt diary..*

Just got back from the docs and lo and behold I have anti depressants. Trouble is I don't want to take them. I can feel myself getting angry about it just thinking of taking them. It's like I don't want to accept that I've got a problem.

IA, Just wanted to pop in to say hi, I don't have PND just standard depression but I know exactly how you feel about the tablets. Basically look at it like this, you're really down, you need a bit of a hand at the moment, the tablets will do this. I had real issues with taking tablets and indeed staying on them. Mr Fritha told me that it was like breaking your leg, you wouldn't refuse to have a cast on or have crutches in that case. The tablets are the same.

It's not that you have problem, you're not broken, or a bad mum, the chemicals in your brain are a bit squiffy due to hormones, the tablets will settle the chemicals down so you can relax and be you. I promise if you screw your courage to the sticking place and take them in a few weeks (they do take a little time to work) you'll start to feel better.

I just wanted to reassure you that's it's ok, sorry if it felt like I was telling you off, I honestly wasn't just trying to assert that you don't need to feel bad about taking anti ds, you're just doing what you need to do to feel better.

Trust me, and I really hope you feel better soon, if you can try to take some time out for you

Toto

Oh bless you IA, well done for being so honest about your feelings, I know that's a hard thing to do.

I lost my mum too almost 6 years ago, she died young (54) and I still miss her and need her so much. There is no time limit on grief and I still cry for her all the time. I think you need to recognise that a lot of your feelings are all mixed up with your loss, you have had so many life changing events in the past couple of years, it all adds up and takes it's toll.

I know it's hard to start taking the pills but do try. The pills aren't about admitting you have a problem they are just pills to make you feel better, much like an asprin for a headache. They won't change you, just make things feel a bit more normal. I was prescribed anti depressants too when my youngest was born, she was diagnosed with multiple dissabilities and I found that really hard to deal with. I'm glad I took them now, but I took them on my terms, I told myself I could stop taking them whenever I wanted, so I felt in control.

You are a fantastic mother, and even if you can't see it yet you do love both of your children, it's just sometimes chemicals in our brains stop us from seeing and feeling that. All K needs is to be safe warm and fed, she will be getting affection even if you don't see that. You on the other hand need a lot more nurturing from everyone around you. Try not to feel guilty, that's a wasted emotion, it does no good at all. You are not failing anyone, you are trying to deal with a really hard situation.

Have you thought about a bit of counselling? I sometimes wish I had done that when my mum died, maybe then I would have dealt with her loss better and wouldn't still struggle with it so much 6 years on. I still think about going but feel it's a bit late for that. Take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Stop trying to be perfect and trying to do everything. All of the magical feelings of having K will come in time, but for now, give yourself a bit of breathing space and tell yourself that not everyone has the immediate rush of love for their babies, life isn't a movie and not everything is a fairytale right away, but it will be really soon, I just know it.

biglass

Please,please, please consider taking your tabs, IA-I know how you feel-I felt as tho I'd "failed" by being precribed prozac when my third child was 5 months old.But I think they saved my life.I had suicidal thoughts and never realised I was so bad until I started feeling better.It literally took @2 weeks and the difference in my mood was unreal.I took them for 18 months but really felt I should have taken them a bit longer TBH.I loved my kids dearly but resented them and hated being a mum for a while-very difficult to equate all those mixed feelings !! Things do get so much easier-I had 17 mth gap between youngest two.They are now 5 and 4 and life is busy but lovely.Lots of hugs to you.xxxx

full-time-mum

Hi immoral-angel

Congratulations on the addition to your family. I've only read you OP and not the entire thread so apologise if I'm repeating others.

Firstly, it isn't unusual or a sign of failure to feel this way. You think that you've got through the first so the second is going to be a piece of cake. It isn't, if anything, its even harder.

You recognise that you have a problem and that you need help so you have already taken the first step - I suppose you could call it your emotional lightbulb moment.

Have you got an active National Childbirth Trust group in your area? If so then may I suggest that you contact them so they can put you in contact with other new mums - amazing what a bit of comparing notes can do to boost your moral. Look for some mums and tots group - somethimes local churches run them.

If you're HV isn't available then go and talk to your GP. If possible get OH to go with you - its important that you work this through together.

I know its difficult but try and get outside for a walk, even if it is only around the block or park - especially at the moment when the weather is so good. I think you'll find the effort worth it.

Don't reject anti-depresants out of hand - I've been on them once and it helped me get back on the straight and narrow. I wasn't keen on the idea but they did help. They even out your emotions a bit so that you feel better able to deal with everything. Seeking medical help is not a sign of weakness or failure.

Things will get better - raising children is the hardest job in the world but just remember that first smile, the first time they say I love you mummy - it is all worth it.

I wish I could offer you more practical help but I'm afraid you aren't in my area so you'll just have to make do with some of these....


:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Frugal_Fox

IA.

As I said before - I didnt have PND - but I did have depression. Its unpleasant - its like a black hole you just can not get out of. I was prescribed anti-depressants and told I would have to be on them for 6 months. I was told that even after I started to feel better, I still had to take the tablets - to complete the course as they would help re-address the chemical inbalance that had caused the depression.

I didn't want to take them. It was like I was confirming I wasn't handling life. I told DH - he said the Dr wouldn't give out the tablets if he thought I didn't need them.

I took them. It took a few weeks - but life did start to get a little brighter.

Please, please take the tablets. If you haven't already got an appointment, book an appointment with the same GP for about a months time. It helps to keep in contact with your GP whilst you are on these tablets - firstly to keep a point of contact with them, but also they can see how you are doing.

I had hoped your MIL may have been more supportive. However - think of all the people on here who are supporting you.

Please take some time for yourself - even just 5 minutes putting a dollop of hand cream on, having a hot drink in the garden - away from your children, sing a long to a cheery song. Do anything - but take 5 minutes for yourself every day.

Keep in touch.
FF
x

abbecer

Dear Immoral Angel, i understand completely. I too have been really struggling lately with my PND especially the last week. I have had two panic attacks this week and have had to admit 'defeat' and go back to GP this morning. I have to start taking anti depressants again and really don't want to. However i know how much they helped before and hopefully will again.

My DH is so worried and doesn't know what to do to help. As i said though we have been here before and it does get better.

PM me if you would like to talk and maybe we can help to support each other through this horrendous time.

Huggles and snuggles

Rebecca x