PND - Help I can't cope!

lebly

I am glad you booked the appointment. It will get better. You have bought tears to my eayes as I am unable to do anything to help you apart from send hugs and support in any way I can via pc.

It is a scarey horrible thing but it will get better. One thing I must add is put baby in pram and go out for walks etc with your other child even to the park. The air will do you all good and its amazing how a bit of sunshine and not looking at the same 4 walls even for 1/2 hour can just help even a little.

For those of you offering advise and support particularly those that have been ther well done. Its hard from this end but it hopefully will show IA that there is light and the end of it all.

For those just offering platitudes down the route of think of others that are in a worse place please dont. I know you feel you are helping but it does make you feel worse!

Good luck IA!

moonlightpjs

Will update on how it goes tomorrow morning. I told MIL as well today, but all she said was 'oh everyone gets it after their 2nd baby'. Yea thanks, MIL, that really makes me feel loads better. *sigh*[/QUOTE]

Hello IA - having read your dairy and posted on it - only about 2 hours ago lol I felt I had to read your post on here - I had no idea that there were all these forums - will visit this one more often - great advice given.

Anyway, back to the point - don't take any notice of your MIL - some older people (no offence meant) can't understand illnesses that you can't see, ie a broken leg and so just tend to brush it under the carpet and say "oh its just the baby blues - it'll pass etc etc. Trust me I know - when I had my son - my Mum just said "what are you upset about, you should be happy you've got a healthy baby" etc - THAT DOES NOT HELP - whether you've got healthy babies, a good hubby or anything else does not stop this awful illness affecting you. Millions of women suffer from this everyday - it does not make you a bad Mummy - well, you know I think you are terrific You need help and that doesn't make you a failure, far from it, you've realised you've got a problem now you are going to deal with it - thats to be highly commended. Even though you feel a bit weak now, things will get better with the right help, you've got to believe that. I totally promise you that with that help you will get stronger and more able to cope day by day.

I am not saying its easy, its not but think of how you've dealt with everything else - you just need some support with this one and we are all here to do that. Like other posters I used to think "just take him back from where he came from" - luckily he's still here lol and when I felt like that after having my 2nd baby (9 months) I recognised the signs and got help straight away - but even now theres times when I want to scream at her to stop crying and want her to go away. But I know i don't mean it.

Good luck at the GP's tomorrow and make sure you tell them everything - promise???
Will be keeping a lookout for your posts and checking up on you

Take care IM - lots of love to you xxxx

Rachie_B

IA ,its hard enough having 2 little ones even if you feel "fine" and dotn have any form of depression

I am glad you have made the appointment

a few have mentioned Homestart and i can reccomend it ( i am a volunteer for them ) http://www.home-start.org.uk/ just having someone to listen,off load to ,go out and about with ,having something to look forward to can help things

I agree with whoever said to try and get out and meet with others ,having some kind of routine helps make the day go more quickly ! and you will have things to look forward to etc https://www.netmums.com has been fab for me ,meeting other mums in the area

Do you have much contact with other mums ? take the eldest to groups etc ?

Fizog

So many of us Mums have been there!!! Your job at the moment is the hardest in the world...I used to go down the garden and scream with Baby wailing in the flat - just for few minutes to calm down and release the tension. Thank god for Pingu I could leave the older one...in the knowledge he wouldn't move. Go to the Doc and get some help..your HV/clinic should have picked up on this.. it will get easier if you can get out and socialise with other Mums - I used to force myself out every day to every toddler group in the vicinity, you won't feel so isolated. Without your Mum it is more difficult and you are vulnerable now with the hormones all over the place don't lose heart I'm rooting for you.

cobbingstones

Been there too OP. Big big big hugs to you. XXXXXX

roversbabe

IA - sorry for hijacking your thread last night - your post and quite a few others on this thread struck a chord.

Good on you for making a docs appointment - hope it all goes well for you.

Good luck & thinking of you.

Allie x

Jo_R_2

Wanted to add, I know how you feel, DD1 cried so much and I used to freeze. She wouldn't sleep in the day so from a lovely very early start to when she went to bed I was on the go all day and I was a mess for months.

To help with the crying, have you tried 'wearing' her? Slings have been my lifesaver, my godsend - I do not know what I would have done without a sling to put my babies in (oldest "baby" now 3!) Used to put DD1 in a sling then go for a walk, or sometimes even just sit in the computer chair and swing round LOL, used to work I wear DD2 now all the time in a sling which she loves and it means I can spend quality time with DD1. There's a lot of research which says that babies who are worn cry less, and this effect lasts. Having said that, I do agree that it would be worth just taking baby to the GP to check them over and make sure there is nothing that is making baby K cry.

espaceblue@btopenworld.co

its not just pnd, its easy to blame whats nearest to you. you are still mourning your mum and must feel you have no backup.You need finest food to make up for the losses during birth and you need someone to reassure you. i felt that way with my first child and they gave me valium which made it worse, i couldn't cope. it is a huge emergency and a lot depends on it. Your babies feel your fear and anxiety too. Demand help from every possible agency ,friends might not realise you need them, tell them.

it was my family who were warring and caring for no0one really.my life has been ruined in relationships by thelack of true support in the beginning.However i did do years of counselling training to try and make the best of it all.I adore my children but I can remember distinctly wanting to hit him.Always say there but for fortune go I, and I have learned you have to make that fortune, I'm not talking about money. Get the best for you and your children. I know its not easy to ask for love.

You gotta get help. if you have any money at all pay for home help. go to the doctor and get a health visitor, go to social services. I didn't get help and scrambled through a dire situation , too proud .

unfortunately it is you who need some love and care and the babies are demanding it.Scream for help darling now and get as much good stuff for your self as possible your babies will then be happy when you are happy.

moozikgal

Please let us know how you got on. Your post might help other mums who are feeling the same way and also show them they can get help and support.
Hope you are feeling better today, i know some days are better than others, so lets hope today is a good day

immoral_angeluk

*copied from debt diary..*

Just got back from the docs and lo and behold I have anti depressants. Trouble is I don't want to take them. I can feel myself getting angry about it just thinking of taking them. It's like I don't want to accept that I've got a problem. Deep down I know something's not right, I don't seem to be bonding with K and I don't want to do anything with her or have to deal with her. When she cries I end up in a complete state if I can't calm her down quick enough and I feel so so sorry for her but all she wants is her mum to love her and want to be with her. It all seems to be focused around K as when she's asleep and I can just get on with everything I'm fine, but if I have to get involved with her for anything I start to feel bad again. In a way I think i just resent her for making things so hard and stopping me spending time with Ashli which is just an awful thing to feel and I feel so guilty. I think the whole situation has dragged up some feelings from when mum died as I suddenly feel really alone whereas before I used to be able to call her up for anything and she was only ever around the corner. But on the other hand I want to be by myself and just wallow in my own self pity, but I can't even do that because I've got to look after the girls. MIL came round this morning while i went to the docs and is coming around again in a bit, but to be honest I just don't want to have to deal with her and make small talk. I just want to be alone, but PROPERLY alone, ie no kids. Fat chance of that though...

I just want things to be back to normal! I've got to take one pill a day and go back and see the doc in 3 weeks. But I can't bring myself to take them and keep making excuses...