PND - Help I can't cope!

immoral_angeluk

We've got a 6 week old baby and a 2 yr old and the past week or so I've found it really really hard to deal with our new baby's crying. Even if she's only been crying a couple of minutes I start getting scared and shakey and feel like I just want to hit something or scream. There's no way I'd hurt her don't get me wrong but I just can't deal with her emotionally. She cries when she's awake and nothing we do makes her happy until she falls asleep or has a feed. I've been crying loads and I'm taking it out on our eldest by snapping at her all the time.

I've just had enough I don't want to be a mum anymore I can't handle it. Life was so easy when we just had our eldest and now everything's going to pieces. I don't know what to do to make them both happy and retain my sanity!!!!!! There isn't anyone I can call during the day as DH and MIL both work and it's times like this I really miss my mum. She died in Sept 05 and I don't have nayone els eI can turn to... even my HV is on bloody holiday!!!!

Threadhead

Hi IA

Dont have any real words of wisdom, but I've been there.

Perhaps you could try taking Vit B? That helped for me. But more immediately, do you have any friends or other family nearby who can take one or other child for a couple of hours? I am so sorry your mum isnt here to help.

I bet you are doing fine. One of the things about PND is that you feel everything you are doing is wrong, but someone more rational can see that you are doing just fine.

Take care

Karrie

You must speak to your Health Visitor or GP as soon as possible. This can get better. You don't have to feel this way. With help, it does get better. I too suffered from PND but ignored the signs and even when I was disagnosed by my Health Visitor I tried to deny anything was wrong.

I would cry all the time. I would turn the hoover on so I couldn't hear my son crying. I had counselling and was put in touch with other mums in my position. Like you I didn't have my mum around and felt isolated.

Please make an appointment tomorrow morning or ask your Health Visitor to visit asap.

My thoughts are with you.

alwaysonthego_2

oh lots of hug, I have 18 months between my dd's and I am going tell you something you won't believe now, it does get easier I promise

dd1 is nearly 3 and dd2 has just gone one and yes it is hard work and when dd2 was born I cried lots and thought I couldn't cope and dd1 played up at every opportunitie and it seemed like all I was doing was screaming at her. I dont think I got dressed till dd2 was 2 months lol.

It can be lonely having small children but now I am coping, I am at college and uni in sept and the girls go to nursery part time which gives me time to myself, if you can call it that.

Take each day as it comes and homestart and surestart are really good organisations. I think homestart have volunteers that help mothers out. dont worry about housework and try and sleep when the babies do, tiredness can have an huge impact on how your feeling.

It does get better hugs to you

themaccas

Hi IA, sorry to hear you are feeling like this, it does make you feel like carp. You ARE a wonderful mum but I remember feeling the same way with my DS2 when he wasn't feeding or sleeping he was crying and several times I had to leave him in a different room crying and go outside in the garden to have a good cry myself and get away from the noise. What doesn't help is the source of your professional help is on holiday but there will be other HV's around that should be able to come and see you. My HV gave me the number for cry-sis http://www.cry-sis.org.uk/ and I called them, I was a bit worried about them being a bit judgemental but they were great. It will get better but at the moment you probably don't want to hear that as it is the present that is causing the problem.
hugs
x

lebly

hi I understand. went through this. Get straight to the doctors. They can help. Unfortunatley there is no quick fix.Getting through pnd takes time. I took anti depressents they take a couple of weeks to start working but boy it was worth it. Doing fine now. ask at docs also if there are any local support groups the one i went to had a crech as well so you had a break as well as a chance to talk.

Its perfectly normal and fixable and there are hyndreds of women with it. Good luck think of you. You do need to see some one sooner rather than later. The sooner you do it the sooner you will start to get better. Remember it is just a chemical imbalance that at the minute your body cant fix!

xxx

Justie

lots of hugs - you're not a monster or a bad mum! Get on the phone to your health visitor and your GP and get the help that's there for you. If you're lucky and your HV isn't over run with work you should get daily visits from her and the GP may be bale to help too.

You're doing good just asking for help that's the hardest bit :grouphug:

abbecer

Hiya IA. Please go to the GP as soon as you possibly can. It is a lonely existence without all the help and support you can get. I have suffered twice and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Second time was even worse and i was nearly sectioned, but i did get through it and have more good days than bad now. Try to go easy on yourself, don't expect too much. Take one day at a time and if possible structure each day a little bit. First time around i went to the park every morning whatever the weather. It helped to be out and about and gave me a sense that i had achieved something and done what 'good' mums do. Second bout of PND i couldn't do this as i suffered panic attacks on top of everything else.

With the best will in the world people will offer advice but unless they have suffered with PND they haven't got a clue. Don't beat yourself up, it is an illness. Take baby steps, have some 'me' time if you can as i find this really helps.

Thinking of you and your lovely family.

Hugs

Rebecca x

tesuhoha

Sometimes it helps to think of all the people who cant have children and how lucky you are. Have a look in a magazine at pictures of little girls and get a mental image in your head of how they will look together when they are older, how you will dress them, play with them, where you will take them, holidays you will have. You can imagine how you will have their bedroom and how they will play together, what they will be like as teenagers, two girls together, how they will do their homework together, gossip, borrow each other's clothes and makeup. They dont stay babies for long at all and things will soon change. Even babies change very quickly so dont worry. Just try to enjoy it and daydream a little.

Savvy_Sue

And a few more hugs from another ex-sufferer!

If your HV is away there MUST be another who could at least talk to you. Or go and see your GP - blub if you need to!

APNI if you can't get in touch with any support locally. Your local NCT group may have a support network for depressed mums as well - that might be just as simple as another mum phoning to see how you are.

Homestart might help you get a break.

Do you go with your older daughter to a parent and toddler group, if so is there anyone there who would help or just give you a shoulder to cry on?

It's miserable, but it DOES get better, and there IS help out there, although you do feel very isolated right now ...

maemaesmummy

Hi,

Used wanted to say....big hugs....keepgoing things will get better...I have a full of beans 26 montth old and a 5 month old....

It is really hard and I sometimes take myself off to the supermarket in the evening just to get a break...whatever it takes

You will get through it I found my hralth visitor to b a great help.