PND - Help I can't cope!

tesuhoha

abbecer wrote: »

I disagree with this post. PND means you can't see the bright side and you feel like you are in a black hole. Just because you know you are in a more fortunate position than other people doesn't make you feel any better. My personal experience was that it made me feel worse. I knew i had so much to be grateful for but i just didn't feel it. This made the guilt and feelings of patheticness worse.

Rebecca x

P.S tesuhoha i am not being rude to you i just have a different opinion.

When I had my daughter I could feel myself getting down and I coped with it by having lovely daydreams about the future and by thinking how lucky I was. I suppose everyone is different but if you try to think about something pleasant and different it can bring you out of your black hole. It is not so much about seeing the bright side as being distracted from your misery. Sorry its hard to explain, but I think the more you dwell on depression the worse it gets. I have been very anxious and depressed in the past and I do know what its like but I have fought against it and fought my way out of it and refused to take drugs or accept the debilitating condition it can be.

tesuhoha

Sorry, I dont mean to be patronising, just trying to help.

kit

I agree with others that you should see your GP.

I really do feel for you. My DD is 2 and I vividly remember my PND. I wanted to throw her out the window and wanted her 'put back where she came from'. I felt so guilty for feeling so bad towards her. I kept telling myself she was a gift (i am primarily infertile) and that I should be happy but I was in a dark place that was hard to escape from.

You have done well to admit you are feeling like this. I went on to anti-depressants after a while of trying to cope without them.... they did make a huge difference.

I'm thinking of you and wish you well.

tesuhoha

If the baby cries constantly, you could try swaddling her - wrapping her securely in a blanket or a sheet. It often helps by making a young baby feel more secure. Obviously if she doesnt like it then stop but it may be worth trying.

RoCas

Hi i-a,

I can't add anything to what's been said above but just wanted to send you some (((((((hugs)))))))).

tesuhoha

http://www.todaysparent.com/baby/healthsafety/article.jsp?content=20030807_121003_2224&page=1

I actually did this when mine were very young and it did work. Its best to use a cotton sheet in warm weather.

roversbabe

abbecer wrote: »

I disagree with this post. PND means you can't see the bright side and you feel like you are in a black hole. Just because you know you are in a more fortunate position than other people doesn't make you feel any better. My personal experience was that it made me feel worse. I knew i had so much to be grateful for but i just didn't feel it. This made the guilt and feelings of patheticness worse.

Rebecca x

P.S tesuhoha i am not being rude to you i just have a different opinion.

I agree - knowing that someone else is in a worse position makes it harder and you (I) feel guilty for feeling so low when I believed that should have been on top of the world.

Its a difficult feeling to describe but the guilt and the black clouds are exhausting, then there's a LO wanting feeding, changing, bathing, entertaining and its all I can do to move. I'm not sure whether I should go and get help cos most of the time I'm OK, but when I'm not OK, I'm really low and useless.

Hugs OP, I hope you get the help that you need. PM me if you want a chat.

Allie x

kit

roversbabe wrote: »

I'm not sure whether I should go and get help cos most of the time I'm OK, but when I'm not OK, I'm really low and useless.

Please please please at least talk to a GP...... what harm can it do?
If you try and cope alone you may end up having less and less 'ok' times and more low times and you want to avoid that happening.

PM me if you need to talk.

roversbabe

kit wrote: »

I agree with others that you should see your GP.

I really do feel for you. My DD is 2 and I vividly remember my PND. I wanted to throw her out the window and wanted her 'put back where she came from'. I felt so guilty for feeling so bad towards her. I kept telling myself she was a gift (i am primarily infertile) and that I should be happy but I was in a dark place that was hard to escape from.

You have done well to admit you are feeling like this. I went on to anti-depressants after a while of trying to cope without them.... they did make a huge difference.

I'm thinking of you and wish you well.

I know that feeling - roversbloke and I were told we were unlikely to have children so when roversbaby arrived, he was a bit of a surprise (shock). I cried for days, then beat myself up mentally about being so upset when I should have been delighted. He's 8 months old now and is a very happy, cheerful little boy and I'm so glad we have him but when there's a dark cloud over my head, I don't want to know. This sounds awful and I'll probably delete this later but I just have to get out - leave DS with DH and take myself off somewhere, just for a couple of hours so I can breathe.

I work full time too (feel guilty about that) and feel so guilty about going out (even just for a walk on my own for 30 mins) when I'm not at work, as I feel that I should spend my weekends exclusively with DS - another guilty feeling stacked on top of the others. Perhaps I never should have become a mum - I don't think I'm a good one.

kit

roversbabe wrote: »

I know that feeling - roversbloke and I were told we were unlikely to have children so when roversbaby arrived, he was a bit of a surprise (shock). I cried for days, then beat myself up mentally about being so upset when I should have been delighted. He's 8 months old now and is a very happy, cheerful little boy and I'm so glad we have him but when there's a dark cloud over my head, I don't want to know. This sounds awful and I'll probably delete this later but I just have to get out - leave DS with DH and take myself off somewhere, just for a couple of hours so I can breathe.

I work full time too (feel guilty about that) and feel so guilty about going out (even just for a walk on my own for 30 mins) when I'm not at work, as I feel that I should spend my weekends exclusively with DS - another guilty feeling stacked on top of the others. Perhaps I never should have become a mum - I don't think I'm a good one.

Please dont feel you are not a good mum.... you wouldnt be worrying like this if you werent.

Take time for yourself and dont feel guilty. Talk to someone about how you are feeling - GP, HV, friend - it will help. Again, PM me if you want to.