PND - Help I can't cope!

Lillibet_2

HI IA

(((Hugs))), I have been reading your debt diary over on DFW and know you were diagnoized with mild PND and it was left to see what would happen over time. Well, things haven't got any better this week, get to your GP tomorrow. This is what they are there for & they will be able to help you. They will be able to help you lots. Don't worry about them being judgemental, they won't be. There are also lots of orginizations which can give you support through this, cry-sis as already mentioned, also the NCT & your local area may have a specific support group, ask your GP.

I have spent the last 3 days feeling like the worlds worst mum, Spud isn't well & instead of being his usual chirpy self he is just crying constantly & clinging to me, as soon as his dad comes home he is full of smiles & chatter. Grrrrr.....trying to say to hubby I have had the worlds worst day blah blah balh whilst Spud climbs all over him chirruping totally undermines me & I feel like nothing I can do is right for him. But I know in fact I am doing OK (probably;)). and I also know that in weeks time he will be perfectly well again & be back to my happy little boy & I'll feel fine about myself again....just like you will when you get the help & support you need, you'll be amazed at how much better you will feel, I promise.

If there is any chance of your partner getting a bit of leave, even just a day or 2, then I would encourage him to take it. PND takes it's toll on both parents, even if he can just come to the doctors with you then it will be a help. If he can't then this si OK, he knows how difficult things are for you right now & wil want to do as much as he can to help you so let him;)

(((Hugs))) & good luck. Come back if you want to chat.

abbecer

tesuhoha wrote: »

Sometimes it helps to think of all the people who cant have children and how lucky you are. Have a look in a magazine at pictures of little girls and get a mental image in your head of how they will look together when they are older, how you will dress them, play with them, where you will take them, holidays you will have. You can imagine how you will have their bedroom and how they will play together, what they will be like as teenagers, two girls together, how they will do their homework together, gossip, borrow each other's clothes and makeup. They dont stay babies for long at all and things will soon change. Even babies change very quickly so dont worry. Just try to enjoy it and daydream a little.

I disagree with this post. PND means you can't see the bright side and you feel like you are in a black hole. Just because you know you are in a more fortunate position than other people doesn't make you feel any better. My personal experience was that it made me feel worse. I knew i had so much to be grateful for but i just didn't feel it. This made the guilt and feelings of patheticness worse.

Rebecca x

P.S tesuhoha i am not being rude to you i just have a different opinion.

kathfisch

Oh IA, I'm so sorry to hear you feel down (((hugs))). You're such a positive and inspirational presence over on dfw! I'm afraid I don't have any more advice than you've been given but it really does sound like you need to speak to your doctor and get some support and help. Can you talk to steve about how you feel? Just remember it doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mother, in fact you are an excellent mother who just can't see it right now

Take care of yourself,

Kath x

janeawej

poor you, I had this too and it is awfull feel free to pm me if you want a chat or a bit of support, its hard without your mum too ,so do go to the gps and he will be able to help, Jane

snails's_pace

Sorry to hear how your feeling. I would get a gp to check baby over...maybe she is crying for a reason, if it is continuous crying. I only mentioned it because my dd was the same at 6 weeks old , I was ready to pack my bags and leave home, until I was told dd had a nasty ear infection

i hope things pick up for you soon x

Frugal_Fox

Hi IA,

Firstly - I don't know what PND feels like - I adopted ours, but I was certainly aware of an overwhelming scared feeling within weeks of becomming a parent.

You really MUST make an appointment to speak to your Dr, particularly as your HV is currently off. Take each hour as it comes. Do something nice for your self daily - and let your DH and MIL - if you get on well know how you feel and how tough you are finding things at the moment.

Take care of yourself and keep in touch on the boards.
FF
x

carolpinkdreamer

You've done the first step by admitting how you feel. that is brilliant. I pretended everything was fine and sank deeper and deeper. Like the other posts say, please, please go see your gp. Mine was lovely, they didn't judge me, explained that it is a chemical inbalance in the brain that causes depression and gave me antidepressants to fix the imbalance. I didn't like the idea of taking them, and didn't see any benefit for couple of weeks but then things improved. My situation was exactly the same as before I took them but my attitude had changed. It is a horrible feeling, but there is really no need to continue suffering.
Please, please see the doctor. They really can help.
Take care of yourself x x x

Counting_Pennies_2

Yes it could be PND and you should speak to your doctor just in case.

But it might also be worth seeking solutions for the crying as well if it is more than you had with your eldest.

I have heard many people swear by cranial osteopathy, this can often calm a baby.

Also try not to expect too much, a two year old is constantly evolving and what was easy before gets a little more challenging as they learn more, drop sleep etc, so that coupled with a new born must be hard work.

Do try to meet up with others, do you have friends nearby who might be able to give you a break from your baby for a few hours a week, say after a feed until the next one is needed?

moozikgal

Hi,
I too am here to offer hugs and support to you. You have made the first move in admitting that you have these feelings and you have done so early on too. Many mothers can go for years feeling depressed without seeking help. I know you mentioned your health visitor is on holiday, there should be another hv who is covering or even your midwife will be able to help as your baby is still quite young.
You will be asked to complete a questionaire around about now, your score will determin the level of PND taht you have and the method of treatment.
There are quite a few helplines and chairitys that are out there which people have mentioned above. Homestart are very very good and will help you out a lot. please do not be shy in contacting any of these charitys as they have been set up to help mums like you and me.
Look locally to see if you have such a thing as the family notice board to find out if you have any mums and babies groups which you can go to and get help and advice. i know you might not feel like it but going out for a walk and getting out the house will give you a break and might also get your little one to sleep for a while.
Please pm me, or any of the other mums which have offered help as we will be more than happy to chat to you and give you any support.
If you do feel like things are getting too much, take 10 mins out and just go into another room for a while, the baby will be ok crying for a few moments for you to just take a min to collect your thoughts.
big hugs
x

juliejim

Hi IA

Whereabouts in Staffordshire are you? I can offer you some contacts if you want some extra help. If you want to PM me feel free. Although I never suffered from PND, there is only 20 months between my 2 so I know how hard it is.

HTH

Jue