Real life MMD: Should I pay for Grandma's 'gifts'?

tallgirld

What a strange situation!

It's your mum so I am surprised that you didn't say something as soon as she gave you the bill.

My first response would have been "You ARE joking"!

bigpat

Are these "real-life" dilemmas actually real life? Increasingly I'm beginning to wonder!! Your mother buys stuff for her unborn grandchild - without being asked, which makes it a gift in anyone's language - and then asks you to pay? Gimme a break! Not even my family's THAT weird. And we're plenty weird!!

RSteve

No, you shouldn't pay for any of them. You didn't ask her to buy them after all, and I must say it's a bit odd she did this.
Any of the items you haven't used, give them back to her and tell her to get a refund on them.
If you've used any of the items, tell her you thought they were a gift and please not to buy anything in future that you didn't ask for.

Cimscate

Your Mother wants to charge you for clothes she bought for her grandchild! Sounds like she's gonna make a fab grandparent, give them back and say you'd rather choose your own if you have to pay for them anyway:j

auntie_sal

Unbelievable that your mum asked you to pay for the baby things she had bought. When I wanted to help my daughter out with the expense I asked her to come shopping with me so we both had the fun of selecting things together. Don't accept them is my advice. I had a friend who never got the chance to choose clothes for her children because mother in law was so generous and always buying but at least she paid for them..

zelliez

We are all agreed, don't pay her, but the key part is how you approach your Mum with the returned goods. Mother's are all different and how you handle your own will be key to showing her you have everything under control and possibly avoid future 'Granny' interference! Believe me I know.

When you next see her make sure you are happy and jovial, without a hint of "OMG what is Mother going to say/do". Bounce up to her if you can (!!) with bag of goodies WITH the receipt stapled to the outside of the bag and say "Thanks very much Mum for these goodies but I've already BOUGHT these things, I even have two of the most important items, so you can return to the shop and save YOURSELF some money". Forget the bit about her waving a receipt in your face for you to pay. Remain calm, strong and positive in your tone of voice, then quickly turn and go back to something (you've preplanned) to finish off or just say you are nipping to the loo! Don't leave a second gap for her to mention doubling up on items or anything. You don't even need to tell her you are saving money by using secondhand, just in case she goes down the route of "only brand spanking new is good enough for my Grandchild". Have all possible replies covered before you approach with the bag. She probably means well and you don't want to hurt her feelings. And don't forget to staple the receipt to bag, this way she can't so easily give it back. If you see the bag being left somewhere out of sight, if she's visiting you, when you have a mo sneak it to the front door, so you can put it in her hands again as she leaves.

Remember you are in CHARGE!! And good luck!

maiasopohie

She's your Mum! What Mum buys gifts then wants the money back?! Unbelievable. Never heard of any excited Gran-to-be asking for a refund. Surely it is a gift, if not, she has no right to buy stuff & expect her money back. How about if she has been out & bought, say Dior, clothes at full price: fabulous as presents, but would she expect you to cough up hundreds of pounds to repay her? I don't think so!

Kindly retrun them as this is no gift! This is a mother to daughter thing, not an eBay sale!!!

albir

Well, you could ring her and mention that you've just reserved a place for her in a retirement complex in Delhi/Ukraine/Tasmania etc. and could she make sure she goes to pay the first installment next week - in person........
No, seriously, they've all got to go back, and she should deal with that.

bogwart

My granny, what a big cheek you have. No, no way. I am astonished that a mother would do that to her daughter. If she wants to make a gift for her soon-to-be grandchild that would be normal, and a considerate thing to do. Anything else is patronising and greedy.

chris1940

I agree, you should give them back with a polite "sorry, I can't afford these" Are you physically unable to shop, that she thinks she should do it for you? Is she aware of your financial situation?
I find it hard to believe anyone would do that.
When my daughter was pregnant with her first baby, I said I'd buy the pram, but I didn't choose it for her.
You may have to tell her that you want to choose things yourself if you're going to paying for them.
Good luck!