Real life MMD: Should I pay for Grandma's 'gifts'?

cazpost

How incredibly rude!! I'm afraid you will just have to be blunt with her and say you thought they were a gift,but as they aren't has she got the receipts so you can take them back to the shops for her! If that doesnt do the trick,you could suggest selling them on eBay and giving her whatever they fetch,that ought to get her attention.Then perhaps you should sit down wiith her,explain your finanial situation to her and write a list of essentials that she could give you as a gift.

nczm

I'm with everyone else here and think you should return to you mum, but are you sure you've not got your wires crossed and she's just given you the receipt so you can return anything you don't need? Seems extremely harsh of nan to be to go off shopping without consent then expecting you to pay?

faerie~spangles

How dare she demand payment for things you didn't give her permission to buy.

Forget saving the peace. Give her the goods back and tell her in no uncertain terms that you do not appreciate her spending your money for you!

followyourdreams

My mum did exactly this 22 years ago. She bought over £100 of clothes from a shop which was having a closing down sale (so unable to return goods). Initially I didn't realise they weren't a gift, then she presented me with the bill. She is a very domineering woman, and I caved in under her pressure, finally agreeing to pay the bill at £10/month.

(3 years ago, I finally stood up to her and she now refuses to speak to me - life is SO much easier without her interference )

Zebe

First of all check that the receipt/bill was not sent so that items could be changed

fionadc

I dont know what sort of relationship people have with their mothers, but if you cant speak the truth to your mum then who can you speak it to?

Personally if my mum had done this i would be annoyed, not least because she would have loved the experience of buying stuff and would have known fine well that I would have enjoyed it too!

Noone geniunely thinks they are doing someone a favour by buying baby clothes, its one of the most enjoyable part of becoming a mum yourself.

Hand her the bags and say it was her choice to buy the stuff not yours. You are happy to take some of the items as gifts if she would like that.

Catriona_P

Personally I WOULD kick up a fuss - this sets a very dangerous precedent for future 'gifts'. Is she going to send you bills for future things she buys your child as well? Absolutely give ALL items back to her and tell her you'll buy your own, thanks very much.

Be aware that especially in the early days of parenthood, you will be feeling vulnerable, physically and emotionally exhausted (this was me last year ) so will be less able to fend her off if she pulls another stunt like this. Do it now - talking to your Dad if possible might be a good way.

And congratulations! You have a very busy but rewarding time ahead of you, try not to let this spoil it. :j

jpwhaley

I agree with the other posts that the best idea would be to give all of the items back and gently explaining that you can't afford the items. If you don't it could start a precedent which would be even harder to stop later. However I would double check that by giving you the receipt she intended you to pay her rather than just giving you the receipt in case you wanted to exchange any items.

Mr._Finance

Give the clothes back and be straight with her - you only accepted because you thought they were a gift and inform her of your surprise at being handed the bill.

hadjab

My mum is always buying bits for my kids (and me!) and wouldn't dream of asking for a penny! When I'm out and about and spot bargains i know she'd appreciate, I do the same - it all evens itself out in the end.

Whilst I agree that the clothes should go back, I would also agree that you should be as diplomatic as possible - that's not to say 'be a doormat', but remember for good or bad, she is your mum!