Real life MMD: Should I pay for Grandma's 'gifts'? 28 May 2012 at 11:57AM edited 31 May 2012 at 4:47PM in MoneySaving polls 94 replies 16.6K views

Former_MSE_Debs

Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay for Grandma's 'gifts'?

[FONT=&quot]I'm pregnant with my first child and short of cash. My mum bought some baby stuff and I thanked her, thinking they were gifts for her grandchild... then she gave me a bill. While some items are useful, most aren't or we have second hand. As it's cost us, we'd rather have chosen what we wanted at an affordable price. Should I pay, perhaps just for useful stuff? [/FONT]

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PlanetGanet

I would return all of the items to her, thanking her for the thought but politely telling her that you can't afford them and are shopping around/buying second hand. Hopefully your mum will be able to return the items. It is my opinion that she should have asked first before spending your money.

pinkclouds

PlanetGanet wrote: »

I would return all of the items to her, thanking her for the thought but politely telling her that you can't afford them and are shopping around/buying second hand. Hopefully your mum will be able to return the items. It is my opinion that she should have asked first before spending your money.

Absolutely agree with above! Return everything to her, with whatever thanks you can muster. She should have obtained your agreement in advance if she was going to offer to shop on your behalf. There's no way your own mother should be spending your money - particularly when you're short of cash. If she really wanted to help, she could give you some money or offer to find the things you actually want so you can buy them yourself.

Even if the things were an actual gift, I'd only keep what I wanted and could use and discretely dispose of the remainder.

Bennifred

No, I wouldn't pay.
You could point out that kind as it was of her to think of you/your new baby, as you hadn't asked her to get the items you thought they must be a gift. Why else would she get them?
Sort it out now - you don't want her making a habit of presenting you with stuff you don't want and then billing you!

hermanmunster_3

definitely give them back..... unless they are gifts you are entitled to choose the things you are paying for. If you don't stop this now then it may continue happening when you have even less money

BlueAngelCV

Definitely give them back. What a cheek!

bylromarha

If she refuses to take the items back as you aren't going to pay for them...

Buy her a load of Oil of Olay products, grey cover up hair dye, walking sticks/zimmers, some clothes from ethel austin and membership to line dancing club.

Present her with the bill for all those. All items a new grandmother will need.:D

hugaby

No you shouldn't pay, as a Mother/Grandmother, I would have thought she would be delighted to gift these to you and your baby. I always say, 'If you haven't asked for it, you don't pay for it'. It is wrong for anyone to assume/presume what you need or want or what arrangements you have made, especially as you are short of cash.

POPPYOSCAR

I would not dream of buying something for anyone and expect them to pay for it unless they asked me to get something for them.

And as for asking for payment for things for my grandchildren well it beggers belief!!

This smacks of someone who is a control freak, nip it in the bud now if you do not want her to take over raising your child!!

kadison

It is COMPLETELY out of order for her to give you a bill, is she going to do this for your child's birthday presents? One would hope not, I personally would be telling her to shove her 'gifts' where the sun don't shine!

juggsy

I'm surprised a new grandmother would do this, and I definitely wouldn't pay for the things you don't want as everyone else has said.

However I would treat this delicately as the last thing you want when pregnant is to fall out with your mum! Just thank her politely but explain you're short of cash and that you can't afford them. I'm sure she can take the items back if they haven't been used, and you never know she may gift them to you anyway.

Don't compromise with her though if she says you can pay back in installments or something, as it was wrong of her to assume the things you wanted and the price you were willing to pay for them.