Real life MMD: Should I pay for Grandma's 'gifts'?

VeeW

Def. NO. Return everything to her with polite thanks but no thanks, whether she's your mother or your baby's fathers mother

milvusvestal

How nice of someone - your mother especially - to spend your money without asking you.

At the risk of driving a wedge between you, you should do exactly as you suggest. It would be a different matter if you wanted the particular items, and could afford them yourself but, as you openly admit, they are beyond your means. You have been sensible enough to get hold of some second-hand clothing, and there is no reason why you should be burdened with expenses you didn't budget for.

Failing this course, try selling the clothing you don't want on your local "sell anything" website, or via Ebay. You could even make money on them, and pocket the profit. Best of luck.

davegrohlswife

After reading all that I'm going to ring up my mum and thank her for being so wonderful!! It makes me grateful my mum was never like this, I certainly couldn't have managed without her...mother-in-law, different story altogether!

Talent

I can't help but that feel there is something wrong in this relationship?
Anyway, be nice but refuse them. Tell her that you simply cannot afford them.... and please don't do it again.

ellielou_2

Sounds like the start of a slippery slope with an interfering grandma who thinks she knows whats best. I'd politley but firmly put a stop to this now, otherwise it'll go on & on.

I can't believe anyone in their right mind would give a gift & then ask for the money. It screams of - I know whats best.

Or may be I'm reading too much into it - having had interfearing grandparents

Fujiko

Talent wrote: »

I can't help but that feel there is something wrong in this relationship?
Anyway, be nice but refuse them. Tell her that you simply cannot afford them.... and please don't do it again.

Exactly what I was thinking! I can't believe that any mother/soon-to-be grandmother would behave like this. What was the relation ship like before this incident? I have never heard of anyone expecting to be paid for things they have bought for their grand-children under any circumstances.
Are these dilemmas real? This is so far beyond any concept of a normal relationship I cannot accept it is true unless there are some very odd families out there whom I have never come across!

Spring_Chicken_2

It beggars belief that your mum would expect you to pay for things for her forthcoming grandchild. It is a privilege to become a grandparent as i discovered this last weekend. I would happily buy anything that my daughter and son in law needed for their son and with absolutely no strings attached. I am with the other posters hand the stuff back and explain the situation At the same time you don't want to fall out with your mum. Good luck

Cabbagewhite

Is this something your mum has done before? I find it odd that this is the first time she has done this type of thing as she is your mum and not your mother-in-law (who you presumably do not know as well).

Has she given you a bill or has she given you the receipts? The receipts may be part of the warranty (on baby equipment) or so that you can return or change them, if smaller bits.

You really need to get this clarified as she can't go shopping and expect you to pay if you haven't agreed the purchase. My own Mum is completely odd and buys some very bizarre items for us, but she would never expect us to pay for what she has bought unless I had asked her to buy something specifically.

Hopeinhell

No, don't pay. Offer to give them back but explain the circs. I know it's disappointing to have a mother like this, mine was as tight as a gnat's bum (rest her soul) :A but I think she's just indulging herself under the guise of being thoughtful towards you. You have to be sensible with money now.

YORKSHIRE_GUY

Gently and politely tell her that these items don't match with what you need, but you need to get in that you prefer pick things that you are paying for yourself.