Very worried of how my partner will react

Frugalista

If you are both trying to clear debts and save for a house why on earth have you already spent "over ten grand" on a wedding?????

david_1982

We're not Both clearing debts. She's been very good with money and has quite a lot in cash ISA's saved up. She even bought herself a new car and paid Cash last year. I've been the bad boy and been in debt. She thought I'd fully paid my debt off when I proposed and we've been paying what we can afford for the wedding, so we've not saved anything in the last five months as we're paying for the wedding, but I've also not managed to pay off this card I've still got outstanding.
I hope I'll post a good post tomorrow if things go okay. I've been bad and deserve to be in the dog house, but hopefully it won't affect our wedding plans.

CH27

Good luck

marisco_2

I think you are doing the right thing by coming clean about the credit card debt. From what you have advised us, your fiance is making plans for the future, looking at buying a house with you etc. Being on top of things financially is obviously very important to her.

She may well be a bit concerned that you didn't feel able to discuss this with her. I think this will bother her more than the debt itself. You have already shown that you are able to clear debts. Having a savings plan worked out and being able to show her when you will be debt free may help.

I hope she will not have an overly negative reaction to all of this.

NAR

Has he got a black eye yet? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I sincerely hope not.

david_1982

I told her. I told her as soon as I got home.

She was very quiet for a few minutes, and then very upset. It's not the amount that bothers her, it's the fact that I lied. She did say that she needs complete openness on everything in the future. She feels that I might have left it this late to tell her to make sure we don't cancel the wedding, I explained that it's not that and it's just taken me this long to build up the courage to tell her.

She says she's not totally sure how to react, but that she would be more comfortable if we had a joint account so she could see that I'm not hiding anything else. I've agreed to that, a lot of married couples use joint accounts so it's no big deal, and I need to prove I'm being honest.

We actually talked for hours about it, missed dinner completely, but I feel better for telling her, and knowing there's nothing else I've not told her. I can be totally open with her about everything.

I just hope she doesn't change her mind about things.

whitewing

If you can talk for hours and both explain how you feel, that is very good grounds for a strong and happy marriage. I really don't think she'll change her mind but don't lie to her again about anything.

Joint acct works extremely well for me and my husband.

Now just look forward to the wedding day and being married.

KiKi

I just wanted to butt in and say well done - that must have taken a lot of courage.

KiKi

Blackpool_Saver

Are you afraid of her?

david_1982

blackpool_saver: I'm not afraid of her, but I am afraid of her wanting to call things off. I do love her and I think if you really love someone then you will care how they feel about things, enough sometimes for it to scare you how they might react when you do something wrong, like lie to them. I want us to have a marriage based on honesty and trust and that's why I've told her now and not tried to get away with it.