Being a minister's wife

pinkclouds

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I'm in Scotland so not CofE. One of the reasons I'm unhappy with the CofS is some of the liberal views and sadly this thread has done little to dispell those thoughts.

^These are my sentiments about most Protestant faiths in general and the Anglican church in particular.

churchrat wrote: »

My oh and I find that the arrangement we have suits us, the parish and our family perfectly and has done for some years. My oh would also say that it fits his Christian life perfectly as well. So, although you would see it as a problem, other people do not.

^I *am* glad that it works for you, your husband, the parish and all concerned. However, I can't see myself attending one of his services, if I knew who you were IRL - I don't think I'd be able to believe anything your husband said, knowing that you didn't believe him either.

I could much more easily wrap my head around the local minister being married to a generic Christian than an atheist. Tradition and religion aren't synonyms for "bad". I just don't understand. I will try but it's difficult. It seems the only quine on this thread that I understand is the one from Torry. I feel... I don't know, perplexed?

Person_one

The fact that the vicar's wife is an atheist means you wouldn't believe a word he said?

So much for faith!

lostinrates

Tradition and religion are not synonyms for bad, but nor are they synonyms gor good. Personally its the tradition i love still.

I cannot imagine measuring my commitment to my spirituality by that of others, wife or otherwise. Reminds me a little of a bit of sawdust in my brother's eye, finding fault with other's approach to life and faith surely cannot bring one closer to God?

Fwiw, if i were still practising i would want a traditional service in a church that was in some manner liberal but in some conservative, because that is how i think, but i would certainly mot find a perfect fit...

Savvy_Sue

Judi wrote: »

I miss singing 'Shine Jesus Shine' at full pelt

You still can, you know!

Judi wrote: »

anyone know this one?

Lord I Lift Your Name On High

Blimey i'm going back over 10 years now.

We're still singing that. Not Shine Jesus Shine so much. Not sure why.

Gloomendoom

pinkclouds wrote: »

However, I can't see myself attending one of his services, if I knew who you were IRL - I don't think I'd be able to believe anything your husband said, knowing that you didn't believe him either.

:huh: There is some weird logic going on there.

I'm trying to get my head around it... but failing, miserably.

Torry_Quine

pinkclouds wrote: »

^These are my sentiments about most Protestant faiths in general and the Anglican church in particular.



^I *am* glad that it works for you, your husband, the parish and all concerned. However, I can't see myself attending one of his services, if I knew who you were IRL - I don't think I'd be able to believe anything your husband said, knowing that you didn't believe him either.

I could much more easily wrap my head around the local minister being married to a generic Christian than an atheist. Tradition and religion aren't synonyms for "bad". I just don't understand. I will try but it's difficult. It seems the only quine on this thread that I understand is the one from Torry. I feel... I don't know, perplexed?

I'm not saying I wouldn't believe anything he said but it would seem strange that his sife doesn't. What's IRL by the way?

Brighton_belle

IRL = in real life.

This has been a fascinating thread to read.
Like Torry I was very very suprised to the point of staggered to read here it is even possible for a minister to have a wife (or husband) who was not a Christian. I too could not see how that could possibly work well.
But thinking about it, all my knowlege of Christian life comes through the evangelical/born again churches, were I do think it would be a total no no, given how they view marriage and God being central to that relationship.
I also don't quite understand the concept of a non Christian wife help run the youth group, because the church youth group was always, in my expereince about helping youngsters on the Christian path and nurturing and counselling within that framework. Though I am sure the poster concerned is a lovely peson who did a great job of caring for the youth group members in general, I am just suprised.

It's been really informing, in an enlightning sense to read of church rat's and lostinrates experiences and also of the OP's mutual support within her marriage and it has certainly broadened my understanding of what is possible.

And like Lostinrates, I too would be hard to initially spot as a non believer if you met me in church knowing my husband was the minister.

coolcait

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Not a problem at all. For a start as I said I've never come across a non-believing spouse so would find it strange. For a Christian God is the most important thing in your life (or certainly should be) and I find it hard to know how a non-believing spouse would fit into that.



I definately don't think they should divorce but as I say I think it would be extremely hard to have such a calling when your spouse doesn't share your faith.



The thing I'm talking about is that you tend to discuss Christian books and music as well as secular. As an example someone may ask what I use for my quiet time study or what is my favourite worship music. If I obviously have no answer here then it does inform.

Being a Christian is far more than a weekly service and is about everything you say and do so it would be very clear very quickly.

Shine, Jesus, Shine, wow that's an old one I haven't heard for a long time.

I realise that what I am about to say will be hurtful to a Christian who knows the Bible (and therefore understands the point I am making)

but..

I'm sorry, Torry Quine, but reading your posts on this thread leaves me thinking "whited sepulchres".

That's against a background of me wondering "what are the odds that this kind of thread should pop up on a Moneysaving website - rather that one which deals with religious issues"

Of course, having looked at the OP's posting history, I now know that she's a "regular poster who assumed a new identity" to post about another issue which might raise strong feelings.

And has kept that identity for this issue, whcih might raise strong feelings.

I'm sure there is an opening for a keen sociology student to use this forum as material for a dissertation one day. The range of issues which are encountered by "regular posters" is quite extraordinary.

scottishlass72

My previous question asked under this user name I asked on behalf of my sister who wanted advice but was nervous about posting herself - she's not very familiar with MSE. I do usually post under a different user name, usually in the Old Style section, but I'm not someone with thousands of posts. My sister's doing really well now, by the way.

Thank you so much to everyone who responded, as I've learned something from every single post on this thread. I do feel more positive about the idea of moving forward with this after reading everything here. I'm sorry I can't write more here, I'm late for work as it is, but thank you so much to everyone, I'm overwhelmed by the great responses I've gotten. I'll write more later. Thanks again.

tea_lover

Judi wrote: »

anyone know this one?

Lord I Lift Your Name On High

Blimey i'm going back over 10 years now.

Judi, we sang that one last Sunday

Can't remember the last time I heard Shine Jesus Shine though... must be a good few years.