Being a minister's wife

System

I miss singing 'Shine Jesus Shine' at full pelt

MandM90

Judi wrote: »

I miss singing 'Shine Jesus Shine' at full pelt

Ah, I love hymns. I was an Atheist Catholic church goer for a long time, and even in the choir/helping run the youth club. I didn't believe in God, but kept going out of habit and to keep my mum happy.

A friend knows a CofE vicar who wrote anonymously for an Atheist magazine, but insisted he loved his job and how much he got to help people, regardless of the fact somewhere along the way he'd lost faith in God completely. Baffling :rotfl:

Gloomendoom

Judi wrote: »

I miss singing 'Shine Jesus Shine' at full pelt

Despite not being a happy clappy type, so did I last Sunday. Every hymn on the board was written about a thousand years ago, one was 8th Cent, and nobody , not even the choir, knew how to sing any of them.

Torry, I also don't think you can really make any judgement about a person's beliefs from the music they listen to, the books they read, or the after service conversation. We talk about anything and I will read anything.

I'm a little more discerning with my music but it would still probably make Billy Graham's hair fall out.

Torry_Quine

tea_lover wrote: »

I'm finding this thread fascinating. I've known lots of vicars/ministers over the years (male and female) and their partners and spouses have had a variety of beliefs. From being actively involved in ministry themselves, to being an aetheist and never attending any services... and most stages in between.

I honestly can't think of one occasion where the partner's beliefs (or lack of) has been an issue to any of the congregation.

Torry - I hope you don't find me rude for asking but I'd love to know what it is that would bother you if a minister's spouse wasn't a believer? Feel free not to answer of course if you'd rather not.

Not a problem at all. For a start as I said I've never come across a non-believing spouse so would find it strange. For a Christian God is the most important thing in your life (or certainly should be) and I find it hard to know how a non-believing spouse would fit into that.

lostinrates wrote: »

Why? Cds and book choices etc do not necessarily indicate belief but open mindedness, challenge to ones self, or reaffirmation of ones position. There are pleanty of things every one can enjoy too, classical music, classic literature.....no presupposition of faith or lack thereof.

Also, if someone had a powerful call after marriage would you think they should divorce and find a partner whose belief was the same but who might be less supportive of the career?

I definately don't think they should divorce but as I say I think it would be extremely hard to have such a calling when your spouse doesn't share your faith.

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Despite not being a happy clappy type, so did I last Sunday. Every hymn on the board was written about a thousand years ago, one was 8th Cent, and nobody , not even the choir, knew how to sing any of them.

Torry, I also don't think you can really make any judgement about a person's beliefs from the music they listen to, the books they read, or the after service conversation. We talk about anything and I will read anything.

I'm a little more discerning with my music but it would still probably make Billy Graham's hair fall out.

The thing I'm talking about is that you tend to discuss Christian books and music as well as secular. As an example someone may ask what I use for my quiet time study or what is my favourite worship music. If I obviously have no answer here then it does inform.

Being a Christian is far more than a weekly service and is about everything you say and do so it would be very clear very quickly.

Shine, Jesus, Shine, wow that's an old one I haven't heard for a long time.

System

anyone know this one?

Lord I Lift Your Name On High

Blimey i'm going back over 10 years now.

churchrat

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I'm in Scotland so not CofE. One of the reasons I'm unhappy with the CofS is some of the liberal views and sadly this thread has done little to dispell those thoughts.

To be honest it would ring warning bells to me if the spouse didn't attend church. The kind of things discussed after a service for instance such as books read or CDs listened to and favourite worship leaders would be very big clues as to someone's belief.

hello again:)

I feel that the type of parish that my husband works in would not be one where you are comfortable, Torry, although you would be very welcome. As I have said, he and the parish come from a liberal view, something that you are not happy with. I know that my oh would be very happy to live in a more liberal world, so I doubt if you would agree with many of his views.

Also, on the occasions I do go to church, not a single person has asked me who my favourite worship leader is. I'll check with some friends and other ministers, but I doubt that they have been asked. As for books, my oh is reading a translation and commentary on the Koran at the moment and I am reading the life of St Paul.

I know that you say that you have never come across a non-believing spouse, but I have to wonder if thats actually correct or they just choose not to discuss it with you. If you have met many ministers and spouses I doubt that they all, for all the time, believe 100%. Perhaps they have just not told you.

I know that you say that you think it would be extremely hard to have such a calling when your spouse doesn't share your faith, but of course, that is only one point of view. My oh and I find that the arrangement we have suits us, the parish and our family perfectly and has done for some years. My oh would also say that it fits his Christian life perfectly as well. So, although you would see it as a problem, other people do not.

MandM90---I know lots of people like this. Tribal Christians. I too like the hymns, the rhythm of life within the church year, religious music and the friendship I have found there.

Really though, what I think as a spouse is not really important. Its my oh that preaches, takes communion, sees to the sick, talks in schools and visits hospitals. He is the one who is living his faith, not me. I am on the outside. The parish took just him, and although I am always welcome its him that they come to talk too and its him that believes. If I do or dont--its not really important.

A Christian minister and an atheist spouse can work and live very happily together!!!


churchrat

Gloomendoom

Judi wrote: »

anyone know this one?

Lord I Lift Your Name On High

Blimey i'm going back over 10 years now.

Yes. It's not one we do at our local church but I've sung it while visiting others. IIRC the last time was late last year, in Australia of all places.

lostinrates

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I definately don't think they should divorce but as I say I think it would be extremely hard to have such a calling when your spouse doesn't share your faith.

It mght well be hard. For others it might prove almost beenficial. Or at least no hardship. Srely its how good your vicar/ religious leader is that counts?
[/QUOTE]



The thing I'm talking about is that you tend to discuss Christian books and music as well as secular. As an example someone may ask what I use for my quiet time study or what is my favourite worship music. If I obviously have no answer here then it does inform.

Being a Christian is far more than a weekly service and is about everything you say and do so it would be very clear very quickly.

Shine, Jesus, Shine, wow that's an old one I haven't heard for a long time. [/QUOTE]

Torry, again, i have read a lot of religious text...i was brought up catholic and now am not, i am however very respectful and fond of my religious background, it has been good to me. I could discuss text with you, i recommend reading the bible to agnostics and aetheists too. Its still a ruddy good book with a lot of wisdom and a lot of relevance to today for me, and a lot of very important cultural relevance. Incidentally so could my agnostic jewish husband rival many practising Christians for breadth of 'religious' reading. Its of interest to people. I have also read the Qur'an with Interest and respect. Even though i never identify as a christian, let alone a catholic, it is my instinct to reply ' he is risen indeed' at easter, with enjoyment and respect. Its a wonderful hope to me, even if it is not to me what it is to you, it is still an important part of what i became.

As some one who was trained in classical music i have a great passion for much classical music inspired and indeed in existance only because of christianity...the message and the money. I adore it. You very likely might find i have more breadth of knowledge in some areas than a practising christian, as would my husband.

Fwiw, being an educated spritual person is also more than about a service or a set of beliefs practised once a week, this too me includes reading a broad range of subjects and practising my beliefs which very much were framed by my Christian upbringing, which was focused strongly on inclusive love and thankfully where i was, breadth of education and tolerance and hope and enthusiasm.

I can pretty much guarantee you would think i was a Christian if i were a vicars wife. And i would never lie, but easily be able to point out my interpretation of texts, my favurite hymns, my stance on new dictat or current religious affairs.

If we are on favourite hymns, i always liked to be a pilgrim which many find plodding. I hated lots of the more modern ones. We used to sing one that went 'our god reigns'. It was terrible, always resulted in fits of giggles about god raining and generally had terrible lyrics. Most of all i love classical religious choral music, or some of the very ancient hymns that are so unpoular these days.

Newly_retired

I think some of the best hymns are those which are in modern English, address today's issues in today's language, are not happy clappy or the "Jesus is my boyfriend" sort, and are probably sung to well known tunes. That way you can enjoy singing them and thinking about the words.

Gloomendoom

lostinrates wrote: »

If we are on favourite hymns, i always liked to be a pilgrim which many find plodding.

That is good one. A school assembly favourite. Not quite as rousing as "Onward Christian Soldiers" which used to be sung with such enthusiasm and gusto by every boy in the school that it used to result in worried looks on the masters' faces.