Being a minister's wife

Brighton_belle

coolcait wrote: »

I'm sorry, Torry Quine, but reading your posts on this thread leaves me thinking "whited sepulchres".

.

But Torry isn't saying anything nasty or bad. She is just sharing her Christian experience which is shared by 100,000's of other evanjelical Christians in this country. It's not an excluding thing not accepting a minister who's wife isn't a Christian, it's just seeing the role as intrinsically important to a moment by moment faith. Married couples are taught to pray together, to lay everything in their lives together before God.
When that is how you have been taught to see marriage and also the role of the minister and his wife, of course it would seem 'odd' not to have the ministers wife share his faith.


I have known many evangelicals over the years, and like any group, people have their flaws, and some I can see little evidence of Christ in their life,but they also contain people who are good and kind and do live their faith and go out of their way to help others.

peachyprice

pinkclouds wrote: »

I *am* glad that it works for you, your husband, the parish and all concerned. However, I can't see myself attending one of his services, if I knew who you were IRL - I don't think I'd be able to believe anything your husband said, knowing that you didn't believe him either.

Wow, not a very Christian attitude there.

churchrat

Well, what lot to think about, mainly the fact the the op has posted just to get a reaction?

Anyway---to those who would not believe anything my husband says because I do not share his faith--I must say I find that very strange. Each week he stands up and shares his belief with others but you say you would not believe him? Because of one womans belief you have decided that you can no longer believe in god?
Are husbands and wives not allowed to have different views but still love, respect and support one another? Are you really saying that? If you are---I must admit that I am very glad that I do not share your version of Christianity. And please remember that there are lots of different "flavours", of Christianity , all of which claim to be the true and only way to god. Not to mention the vast numbers of non christians who are also convinced that they are the only ones who know what god wants.

There are lots of Christian ministers who have wives that are not Christian. This is also true in the Catholic church, where married deacons (ordained men who are not priests, but can do all the work of a priest excluding Eucharist) have wives that are not christian. I am very good friends with one of them.

I do feel that people who came from an evangelical view have a problem wiht this, along with the problem with gay church leaders and women in positions of church authority. Because of this, pinkclouds and torry would probably never attend a service held by my oh or any who share his views and so would never be put in the position of having to renounce their faith.!!!

I have a soft spot for Shine jesus shine. It was my ds1 favorite hymn at school and he treated us to it for hours. hated it at the time, quite miss it now.

I think this is my last post on this, I dont really have an attachment to the subject (apart from what it means to my oh) and I do not want to upset anybody.

churchrat

Torry_Quine

coolcait wrote: »

I'm sorry, Torry Quine, but reading your posts on this thread leaves me thinking "whited sepulchres".
.

I have rarely been as angry and upset on MSE as when I read that. I had to resist the instinct to reply immediately out of anger. I really don't understand how you could say such a hurtful thing.

Brighton_belle wrote: »

But Torry isn't saying anything nasty or bad. She is just sharing her Christian experience which is shared by 100,000's of other evanjelical Christians in this country. It's not an excluding thing not accepting a minister who's wife isn't a Christian, it's just seeing the role as intrinsically important to a moment by moment faith. Married couples are taught to pray together, to lay everything in their lives together before God.
When that is how you have been taught to see marriage and also the role of the minister and his wife, of course it would seem 'odd' not to have the ministers wife share his faith.


I have known many evangelicals over the years, and like any group, people have their flaws, and some I can see little evidence of Christ in their life,but they also contain people who are good and kind and do live their faith and go out of their way to help others.

Thanks so much for that. It tempers the feelings I had when I read the post. :A

churchrat wrote: »

Well, what lot to think about, mainly the fact the the op has posted just to get a reaction?

Anyway---to those who would not believe anything my husband says because I do not share his faith--I must say I find that very strange. Each week he stands up and shares his belief with others but you say you would not believe him? Because of one womans belief you have decided that you can no longer believe in god?

Are husbands and wives not allowed to have different views but still love, respect and support one another? Are you really saying that? If you are---I must admit that I am very glad that I do not share your version of Christianity. And please remember that there are lots of different "flavours", of Christianity , all of which claim to be the true and only way to god. Not to mention the vast numbers of non christians who are also convinced that they are the only ones who know what god wants.

Yes husbands and wives can and do have different views but following Jesus should be the very core of your being as a Christian and is much muh more that just a different viewpoint. No the different denominations don't or at least shouldn't claim to be the only true way to God, that is Christianity itself. Any individidual church or denomination that claims to be the 'one way' is not one I want to be associated with in any way.

There are lots of Christian ministers who have wives that are not Christian. This is also true in the Catholic church, where married deacons (ordained men who are not priests, but can do all the work of a priest excluding Eucharist) have wives that are not christian. I am very good friends with one of them.

I do feel that people who came from an evangelical view have a problem wiht this, along with the problem with gay church leaders and women in positions of church authority. Because of this, pinkclouds and torry would probably never attend a service held by my oh or any who share his views and so would never be put in the position of having to renounce their faith.!!!

Why on earth would I renounce my faith because someone has a non-Christian spouse. I wouldn't want to go that church most likely but it wouldn't weaken my faith and I'm puzzled why it should.

I have a soft spot for Shine jesus shine. It was my ds1 favorite hymn at school and he treated us to it for hours. hated it at the time, quite miss it now.

I think this is my last post on this, I dont really have an attachment to the subject (apart from what it means to my oh) and I do not want to upset anybody.

churchrat

That's my point. If you aren't a Christian then your spouse has a career which you support as you would any other but to me Christianity is the number one thing in my life and I just couldn't share my life with someone who din't feel the same way.:o

peachyprice

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Christianity is the number one thing in my life and I just couldn't share my life with someone who din't feel the same way.:o

So anyone who doesn't share you view isn't worth having in your life?

What happened to the supposedly Christian value of all men being equal regardless of creed or race? Or do only apply that to people who share your beliefs?

(Yes, you should be embarassed)

lostinrates

Torry_Quine wrote: »

That's my point. If you aren't a Christian then your spouse has a career which you support as you would any other but to me Christianity is the number one thing in my life and I just couldn't share my life with someone who din't feel the same way.:o

i support your absolute right to that in your marriage...but not in judging others. After all, its likely a God would not love that person less. How other people communiate within their marriage and their prayers is their right. As i suggested earlier some people have a call later in life. What right does a parishoner have to deny someone else's call from God? Chances are That if you believe in god you can trust his plan. If it challenges ones own faith it can surely only make faith stronger?

Torry_Quine

peachyprice wrote: »

So anyone who doesn't share you view isn't worth having in your life?

What happened to the supposedly Christian value of all men being equal regardless of creed or race? Or do only apply that to people who share your beliefs?

(Yes, you should be embarassed)

I didn't say that someone who isn't a Christian shouldn't be in my life at all just that we shouldn't be married to them. 2 Cor 6:14-15

We are all equal and I didn't say otherwise. I'm not embarrassed by trying to lead as Christian as possible.

lostinrates wrote: »

i support your absolute right to that in your marriage...but not in judging others. After all, its likely a God would not love that person less. How other people communiate within their marriage and their prayers is their right. As i suggested earlier some people have a call later in life. What right does a parishoner have to deny someone else's call from God? If it challenges ones own faith it can surely inly make faith stronger?

If someone becomes a Christian after marriage then they certainly should stay together but it will be hard. I'm not judging others, no marriage is perfect. God loves all of us.

pinkclouds

Gloomendoom wrote: »

:huh: There is some weird logic going on there.

peachyprice wrote: »

Wow, not a very Christian attitude there.

churchrat wrote: »

Anyway---to those who would not believe anything my husband says because I do not share his faith--I must say I find that very strange. Each week he stands up and shares his belief with others but you say you would not believe him? Because of one womans belief you have decided that you can no longer believe in god?

To qualify my comments, I was being logical rather than religious. It's not his fault that you're an atheist but, in my opinion, it doesn't make him a very convincing church leader if he can't convince his nearest and dearest. I'm being honest when I say that it's not the sort of guidance I'm looking for. I also meant it when I said I'm glad it works for your parish. It wouldn't work for me but it works for you and it's a positive thing that so many are happy.

I don't really want to offend further but I will just paraphrase and clarify: because of one woman's belief, I can no longer 100 percent believe a particular man's words but I still believe in God. I can't explain my thoughts any further without speculating and possibly causing offence. However, I am sorry to cause you any hurt. We are each equally entitled to our own thoughts - thus, I will try to refrain from detailing mine. And I really do try. I start answering threads sometimes and delete what I've written for fear of putting my foot in mouth. Possibly, I am too opinionated online. In real life, I would still think the same things but I would avoid saying most of them and simply side-step the issue (and still not attend your church). This is a little lesson for me and I will take it away to improve upon, so you have my thanks for that.

Finally, remember that my opinion only carries weight if you choose to lean on it. The majority of the posters on this thread are in your favour. x

lostinrates

Torry_Quine wrote: »

If someone becomes a Christian after marriage then they certainly should stay together but it will be hard. I'm not judging others, no marriage is perfect. God loves all of us.

this man has had a call to do more at this stage in his life, to become a vicar. This is projecture from me as a no longer practising Catholic, but i would feel my teaching would lead me to feel that this is part of God's plan thus there is something i would have to learn here in such a situation. If god had called this man to preach then who am i to question that?

peachyprice

pinkclouds wrote: »

To qualify my comments, I was being logical rather than religious. It's not his fault that you're an atheist but, in my opinion, it doesn't make him a very convincing church leader if he can't convince his nearest and dearest.

Why should he need to convince her? Infact why should he need to convince anyone? Is that really part of his job, to convert non-believers? There was I thinking it was to offer guidance to his congregation not disrespect those who chose not to believe by attempting to convince them.

In fact no church leader I've ever met has felt the need to convert anyone, they have faith that God will show them the way.