Issues with the in laws...

msnigella

londonsurrey: I think you may have hit the nail on the head there. Am not sure how to make him see their behaviour for what it is. Maybe a word from a mutual friend would make him see that it's not just me who sees this as being rude.

msnigella

sorry, not sure how I ended up with the big letters :S

Caroline_a

msnigella wrote: »

Yes, unfortunately I think it could be.

If this is the case then I think you need to find out exactly what has been said somehow. This might involve your husband doing a bit of detective work, but forearmed is forewarned, so you can disprove any of her lies once the in-laws are here.

I have to say that your husband has to take quite a lot of the blame for this - he should have been finding out why the situation has got to this, and what has been said, and putting them right!

londonsurrey

msnigella wrote: »

sorry, not sure how I ended up with the big letters :S

Lol. It did make me jump a bit.

Emmzi

Even though you came on the scene later, for some parents marriage is for life and your mre existence is preventing son from getting back together with the mother of their gradchildren, who they will adore more than anything in life.

No, it is not logical, but it is very common. Could it be this?

And after a long struggle with their emotions and the passing of time they now accept the situation.

I'd have a chat with hubby and ask if this is the case, ask for his support, and let them stay.

Mojisola

I'd been concerned about how they were going to treat me - in my own home - for the duration of the royal visit! They have refused to acknowledge your existence but now they are going to sit at your table and eat meals prepared by you and be around the house for a week making small talk. Are they going to pretend the past hasn't happened and being friendly together or are you going to be treated like a housekeeper - good enough to cook and clean but not part of the family?

Uncomfortable doesn't come anywhere near describing the situation.

Caroline_a

If I were you, I'd make sure that you can spend some time together in the first few days without the ghastly SiL. Maybe plan some outings with tickets ('oh did you want to come... and such a shame it's all sold out..')

Then if things are still frosty, just do your own thing!

POPPYOSCAR

msnigella wrote: »

My OH isn't refusing to stand up to them, unfortunately he just doesn't see it as I do. They're his parents so of course he only sees the best in them, he thinks I'm being oversensitive by feeling snubbed by them and doesn't think they've been rude at all.

I am in two minds if I want a relationship with them at all. Part of me feels they bring nothing to my life and live thousands of miles and have snubbed me for three years so I could be happy to never meet them and have nothing to do with them. But I don't want to do that to my husband or any children we may have.

I would like if they would just offer an olive branch and feel I could put this all behind me if they did. But I don't really feel that I should be the one to repair this situation, which was not of my making.

This to me is a bigger problem than your in-laws.

londonsurrey

I know! Tell your husband that you're delighted that his parents have finally decided to treat you like part of the family, and you're looking forward to spending a week with them in the summer.

So, when are they sending the tickets (which they do for family) and which week should you book off work? And smile happily and expectantly.

msnigella

londonsurrey wrote: »

I know! Tell your husband that you're delighted that his parents have finally decided to treat you like part of the family, and you're looking forward to spending a week with them in the summer.

So, when are they sending the tickets (which they do for family) and which week should you book off work? And smile happily and expectantly.

I LOVE this idea!! :rotfl::j