Let the fun and games begin...

Ames

The estate isn't valuable enough for inheritance tax.

The solicitor needs to gather in all moneis owed and pay all debts, and deal with the house sale.

You're right about dad being obsessed with money, and he really hates solicitors.

Gingernutty

With the mortgage company threatening action and who knows what bills to pay (£1300!? :eek: ), a solicitor is a very sensible idea.

Check in the morning about the 'up front' thing - chances are your Dad's wrong.

sassyblue

Ames wrote: »

So I really don't know what to do now, whether to sign the stuff for the solicitor or not. I also need to check out a clause in the contract, because dad read it differently to me - I thought it said that the fees will come out of the estate dad read it as we have to pay upfront.

I think I preferred it when they weren't talking to me.

I'm sure all fees can come out of the estate but worth checking, maybe your dad read it wrong to frighten you.

Good luck and stick to your guns, you're doing the right thing - however difficult they're making it - ignore their tantrums, that's all they are.

Dunroamin

This may have been mentioned before but have you considered selling the house at auction just so that you can get rid of it and draw a line under this situation?

Ames

If I sold it at auction for below market value I'd be failing in my duties as administrator to get the best price for it and sister could sue me for the difference.

I've emailed my WRO about it all and he says that it's even more important to get the solicitor on the case asap because of the threats sister's making. He says, as have a couple of you, that she can't do what she's threatening.

But she says she's been to CAB and it's really easy to get her added as administrator, and I'm assuming that she can then get a solicitor in her own right and it'll lead to a lot of expensive legal wrangling?

Maybe I'd be better off just handing it all over to her and then it's nothing to do with me if it all gets messed up. I'd get less money, but given all the extra bills that keep cropping up I don't think I'll be able to afford to buy a property for myself even if I get permission from the benefits agency, so maybe that's not such a big deal.

At least I managed to stay strong through her attempts at emotional blackmail and see through it all. It's just all this legal stuff she's talking about.

Gingernutty

Ames wrote: »

If I sold it at auction for below market value I'd be failing in my duties as administrator to get the best price for it and sister could sue me for the difference.

Well she could try. If there is a deadline set by...I dunno.....whoever, then the house must be sold by then - "by any means necessary" to quote Malcolm X.

As your sister seems to be partly/completely to blame for the delays, she can sue away - and accept whatever judgement is laid down.

Laying claim to the estate before letters of administration have been issued, depriving you of your rightful share (half the value of the car she's driving is due to you for a start) and rendering the house unsaleable (her furniture is cluttering the house and she and your Dad have started knocking the kitchen about already) - she has helped to cause this car crash of a situation.

Ames wrote: »

I've emailed my WRO about it all and he says that it's even more important to get the solicitor on the case asap because of the threats sister's making. He says, as have a couple of you, that she can't do what she's threatening.

She could try, but she would fail - by her actions she has effectively proven that she is unfit to administrate the estate herself, is disrespectful and frankly, ignorant of the law.

Ames wrote: »

But she says she's been to CAB and it's really easy to get her added as administrator, and I'm assuming that she can then get a solicitor in her own right and it'll lead to a lot of expensive legal wrangling?

She says she's been. The letters of administration have already been issued to you. You have some idea of what you're supposed to be doing. Should she wish to become joint administrator, you would have to reapply for them in both your names. You already know how long and expensive that's been so far.

Yes. She could get her own solicitor who, if or until she becomes Administrator, has to be paid for by her. Not from the estate. She'll soon learn that they come expensive.

Ames wrote: »

Maybe I'd be better off just handing it all over to her and then it's nothing to do with me if it all gets messed up.

Really?! Really really really?

Ames wrote: »

I'd get less money, but given all the extra bills that keep cropping up I don't think I'll be able to afford to buy a property for myself even if I get permission from the benefits agency, so maybe that's not such a big deal.

If your sister lays hands on the estate, then you might not see much if anything at all - especially if she's in cahoots with your Dad who's also out for as much as he can get from an estate he's not entitled to.

Ames wrote: »

At least I managed to stay strong through her attempts at emotional blackmail and see through it all. It's just all this legal stuff she's talking about.

The legal sounding stuff that she's talking about seems to be a combination of what she thinks is right, what she wants to understand is right and what some bar room lawyer has put into her head.

All the issues - the house that must be sold before it's repossessed, the debts, the car, the jumbled possessions that your sister should have put into storage - all that is what your solicitor can talk you through - it's not too difficult to understand but with your sister muddying the waters and leaving you confused it can seem harder than it is.

You sister and your Dad have complicated things through their greed and ignorance - You can do this Ames.

Ames

Gingernutty wrote: »

Well she could try. If there is a deadline set by...I dunno.....whoever, then the house must be sold by then - "by any means necessary" to quote Malcolm X. The only deadlines would be set by the mortgage company. In which case yes, we'd need to act to make sure we could cover all the other bills. I'm assuming utility bills run up after mum's death would need paying even if there wasn't enough in the estate to cover the credit card etc.

As your sister seems to be partly/completely to blame for the delays, she can sue away - and accept whatever judgement is laid down.

Laying claim to the estate before letters of administration have been issued, depriving you of your rightful share (half the value of the car she's driving is due to you for a start) and rendering the house unsaleable (her furniture is cluttering the house and she and your Dad have started knocking the kitchen about already) - she has helped to cause this car crash of a situation. Regarding the house her (and dad's) argument is that they've added value. Although I could have cried walking round the other day and seeing what a mess it's all in, when dad had said he was going to keep up to it being clean and tidy and the gardens at least with the grass cut. Instead there's half a kitchen, all sister's stuff, and crap from the old kitchen on the back patio. But sister wont agree to a skip to get rid of the stuff.



She could try, but she would fail - by her actions she has effectively proven that she is unfit to administrate the estate herself, is disrespectful and frankly, ignorant of the law. Although it'd be my word against hers.



She says she's been. The letters of administration have already been issued to you. You have some idea of what you're supposed to be doing. Should she wish to become joint administrator, you would have to reapply for them in both your names. You already know how long and expensive that's been so far.

Yes. She could get her own solicitor who, if or until she becomes Administrator, has to be paid for by her. Not from the estate. She'll soon learn that they come expensive.



Really?! Really really really? Well, probably not. But I'm hardly sleeping at night (falling asleep in the early hours and sleeping most of the day, meaning I'm not getting on with my own paperwork and stuff), and having more suicidal thoughts than usual. So it's tempting to just back down and give in. I guess it's more reason to hand over to the solicitor asap though.



If your sister lays hands on the estate, then you might not see much if anything at all - especially if she's in cahoots with your Dad who's also out for as much as he can get from an estate he's not entitled to. Frankly, I'm getting to the point where I don't care anymore. But I can't stay living in this flat either so I have to fight to get the most I can.



The legal sounding stuff that she's talking about seems to be a combination of what she thinks is right, what she wants to understand is right and what some bar room lawyer has put into her head. True, although switch bar room lawyer for 'dad'.

All the issues - the house that must be sold before it's repossessed, the debts, the car, the jumbled possessions that your sister should have put into storage - all that is what your solicitor can talk you through - it's not too difficult to understand but with your sister muddying the waters and leaving you confused it can seem harder than it is.

You sister and your Dad have complicated things through their greed and ignorance - You can do this Ames.

I don't think I can - but my solicitor can. As soon as they get back to me with what the paragraph about fees really meant then I'll sign the papers and send them back. Then duck and try and hide from the consequences with dad and sister.

Thanks again everyone, I guess I just need to vent and get reassurance that it's not me in the wrong - when dad and sister are both telling me I'm making big mistakes it's hard to ignore them.

Dunroamin

Ames wrote: »

If I sold it at auction for below market value I'd be failing in my duties as administrator to get the best price for it and sister could sue me for the difference.

I've emailed my WRO about it all and he says that it's even more important to get the solicitor on the case asap because of the threats sister's making. He says, as have a couple of you, that she can't do what she's threatening.

But she says she's been to CAB and it's really easy to get her added as administrator, and I'm assuming that she can then get a solicitor in her own right and it'll lead to a lot of expensive legal wrangling?

Maybe I'd be better off just handing it all over to her and then it's nothing to do with me if it all gets messed up. I'd get less money, but given all the extra bills that keep cropping up I don't think I'll be able to afford to buy a property for myself even if I get permission from the benefits agency, so maybe that's not such a big deal.
.

But surely, if she becomes the administrator then she's the one who has the responsibility of getting the highest price for it and you can sue her for the difference?

lollipopsarah

This is all way over my head, but makes me respect my brother even more for what he had to do.
I'm so sorry for what you are having to deal with, and just want to give you my best wishes and a <hug> if that's ok.
xx

Ames

Dunroamin wrote: »

But surely, if she becomes the administrator then she's the one who has the responsibility of getting the highest price for it and you can sue her for the difference?

See the posts above between me and Gingernutty. I think that would get complicated and expensive.

I think it's just going to be easiest for me to hand it all over to the solicitor, then I can sit back and relax.