Let the fun and games begin...

Ames

Short recap - mum died a year ago and ever since I've been under pressure from dad and sister to sort probate and get the estate sorted. But only on their terms (dad has no legal right to the estate at all). They took no notice of anything I said, starting work on the house being the biggest thing, as it now has to go up for sale and there's only half a kitchen there now.

Well, I've finally realised that I can't do all the probate stuff myself, and I'm not strong enough to deal with the bullying from dad and sister. So I've hired a solicitor.

After a mouthful from sister yesterday, saying she's not going to pay half of the solicitor costs (oh yes she is, legally she has no say), and bullying me a little bit more, I've emailed her and dad with some home truths about how they treat me and why I've taken the steps I have.

So I'm in for a rough few days of bullying and arguments.

No-one has to read this but I need somewhere to let of steam about it all.

Student_Mrs

Haven't been in this situation but didn't want to read and run as you sound very strong to have shown them the truth.

I hope it goes well for you

rpc

Were you the names executor (I assume that there was a will because you refer to probate).

If you are, and you permit them to "do stuff" to the estate before it has been distributed then you could be liable.

Again, if you are executor, the solicitor fees will come from the estate before distribution so nobody directly has to pay a share.

kingfisherblue

Ames, what a sad situation. It must be so difficult for you. Yes, it sounds as thoguh you could be in for a bit of a stormy week, but TBH, it sounds as thoguh things haven't exactly been calm so far. This way, at least you can hand over some of the responsibility to the solicitor to deal with.

On the other hand, maybe your dad and sister will realise what bulllies they are, and do aan about turn.........but I doubt it.

I wish you well, and hope that everything can be sorted as quickly and painlessly as possible for you x

Ames

There's no will and I'm executor. I did tell them that I could get in trouble if they did work to the house and told them not to but they did it anyway. As there's only me and sister to inherit she said she had a right to do what she wanted. And the plan was that dad would buy the house, but his has been up for sale for months with no interest.

I know the solicitor fees come from the estate, but sister says she's not going to agree to that. Legally though it's not her choice.

Melonade

Aww I hope your ok, it's not nice to be bullied when your trying to deal with losing someone.

I'm going through a similar thing myself right now, although I've been left a house that I can't live in or sell. I've fallen out with my Dad and uncle because of it (not actually my fault) and I could really do without solicitors and CAB appointments atm :mad:

It's put massive stress on my realtionship with my OH, although he's been brilliant were just both frazzled by it all.

I hope you'll be strong enough to put your foot down and not be pushed into decisons by them. It's not nice when this happens but it's easy to be pushed around when your trying to deal with so many things. I think it makes it doubly hard when it's family doing the pushing I hope it'll be easier now you've got help from a solicitor.

rpc

Ames wrote: »

There's no will and I'm executor.

Careful! If there's no will then there is no probate. Do you have letters of administration?

To be honest, the best thing you could perhaps do is to let the solicitor deal with it all. Their fees will be hefty, but will be taken from the estate. Unless sister is administrator also then, as you say, she has no choice. She may threaten to sue, but what judge is going to day that using a solicitor for legal matters was not a reasonable thing to do?

Are there assets other than the house? If there are bank accounts, make sure your relatives don't get into them. You don't want to get into a position where you can't pay the solicitor because you can't sell the house.

If nothing else, a solicitor's letter fired across the bows might make your dad and sister wise up!

NAR

rpc wrote: »

If nothing else, a solicitor's letter fired across the bows might make your dad and sister wise up!

Tending to agree with this. Ask your solicitor about the kitchen situation and ask is there any merit in the solicitor asking your sister to pay to restore the kitchen to its previous condition and warn her not to make any further changes to the house. What about changing the locks to keep her and your father out until the solicitor has sold the house.

thorsoak

Actually, as there is no will, you cannot be the executor! Did your mum leave a letter, expressing her wish that you should deal with (in other words administer) everything?

Was she divorced from your dad? If not, and in the absence of a will stating otherwise,then he will be entitled to half of her estate

You have done the right thing in asking a solicitor to sort things out for you - hope that they manage to get things wrapped up for you fairly quickly.

Caroline_a

Be very careful! The chap who was the executor for my dad's will chickened out and appointed a solicitor. I am now 2 years down the road, with still no final settlement! And there was no house to sell!!! The last bill was for around £9k - this will be taken out of the estate - but as far as I can see 85 - 90% of that was phonecalls and emails chasing him up!!

Ames

I've had the probate interview and I'm waiting for the letters of administration. As I was the one who filled in the probate forms I'm the one who has to wind up the estate. My sister's not administrator it's just me.

Mum and dad were divorced, the letters of administration wouldn't be issued to me otherwise. He has no claim on the house.

The estate is pretty much the house. There's a few hundred in an account (which'll pay a similar amount in debts), and the car that sister put into her name within days of mum's death and has been driving since. Yes, I know she shouldn't have done but she wouldn't listen to me.

I think the solicitor is going to give them x days to put right the kitchen. If it comes to it she said I can sue dad if it's not done and it has an impact on the house value.

My sister's storing all her furniture at mum's (another problem for selling it as it's too cluttered to move around) so if I change the locks she could accuse me of theft. Plus it'll just get their backs up even more. I'm hoping that just getting legal letters will be enough.

Caroline, I understand what you're saying, but I really don't have a choice. I'm on benefits and only have six months grace before I have to show that I'm doing everything I can to sell it (if it hasn't already), and if they don't agree then I'll lose around £700 per four weeks. Dad and sister don't believe me. I know that the solicitor will cost (she's quoted me around 3k depending how difficult dad and sister get) but I really can't afford not to have her involved.

Thanks everyone for your support, I've not heard back from either of them. I imagine they'll be on the phone to each other tonight coming up with reasons why I'm wrong and they're right.