Wife does'nt drive

System

Sorry if i am going against the grain here but i think your rather mean.

Have you thought that she might not want to drive? I learned over 10 years ago but the thought of driving scares the hell out of me now.:(

rpc

Idiophreak wrote: »

Hmm...If you had a migraine impairing your vision to the extent you didn't feel you're capable of driving, I'd wish you all the luck in the world trying to convince an insurer that you were capable of supervising...

Never mind the insurer - what about the police? Both drivers could be in hot water.

I need glasses to drive. Does anyone really think it would be OK for me to supervise a learner without having my glasses on? If not, why would impaired vision due to a migraine be any different (hint: it wouldn't). It is illegal to drive if you cannot read a number plate at a given distance, acuity is less than 6/12 or you do not meet certain "field of vision" requirements.

babymoo

I am another woman that passed first time and has no problems with a gear stick or any other part of driving my car. I would sit and talk to your wife and get to the bottom of why she gives up. Dont teach her to drive yourself, mum taught me to drive after I had a fair few lessons with a proper instructor and she's now a terrified passenger lol.

Be honest with your wife and as bad as it sounds, don't be afraid of upsetting her. Your in a relationship, an equal partnership and you should treat her as such. Tell her how you feel or it will just cause more problems.

Learning to drive was the best thing I ever did and I am so glad I did it when I was 17 and passed at 18.

rpc

Judi wrote: »

Sorry if i am going against the grain here but i think your rather mean.

Have you thought that she might not want to drive? I learned over 10 years ago but the thought of driving scares the hell out of me now.:(

Do you expect anyone else to be at your beck and call to provide lifts?

My BIL doesn't drive, but he doesn't expect his wife to be there whenever he needs a lift. He uses public transport or walks. In the case of the OP, someone seems to both have their cake and eat it.

System

Do you expect anyone else to be at your beck and call to provide lifts?

I dont expect anything of anyone.

POPPYOSCAR

If your wife does not want to be a driver I do not think she should be forced into it.

Driving a car is a big responsibility.

I also do not see what the problem is when there are so many taxi firms around - would probably work out cheaper anyway when you take into account the cost of running a car.

GlynD

babymoo wrote: »

I am another woman that passed first time and has no problems with a gear stick or any other part of driving my car. I would sit and talk to your wife and get to the bottom of why she gives up. Dont teach her to drive yourself, mum taught me to drive after I had a fair few lessons with a proper instructor and she's now a terrified passenger lol.

Be honest with your wife and as bad as it sounds, don't be afraid of upsetting her. Your in a relationship, an equal partnership and you should treat her as such. Tell her how you feel or it will just cause more problems.

Learning to drive was the best thing I ever did and I am so glad I did it when I was 17 and passed at 18.

It's always good when someone passes first time given the stringency of the written and practical exams these days compared to when I took my test. I still say though that there is no shame in driving an automatic so in cases where gear changing is an issue would you not agree that it makes sense to at least investigate the possibility of using an automatic, particularly if it's a husband advising a wife as in this case?

Tish_P

Crisp £ note: . I have to be convinced and bikes to me are a lot more dangerous than cars and bycicles are even worse!

It's up to you what you feel comfortable with, but I had to leap in and correct this - it's not remotely true that pedal bikes are more dangerous than motorbikes. Cycling is only slightly more dangerous than walking per passenger mile, and people's fear of it is massively overblown (like the OP's wife's fear of walking under a subway, which is probably far safer than a car journey if you look at the stats).

Motorbikes are far more dangerous - partly because risk-takers are more likely to own them, but also because you're as vulnerable as a cyclist but typically going at far higher speeds.

snowleopard61

I have never learnt to drive, but both when married and since we split up I've managed to get around without needing lifts, and with two children/babies/toddlers in tow for much of that time. FWIW I don't ride a bike either, although I would if I felt it was safe. Almost the only times when we were married that my ex-husband needed to take us in the car were for a fortnightly shop (pre-online shopping and because he himself preferred the shopping to be done on this basis), and when we went away on holiday - since then we have gone to places we could reach by public transport.

If you don't drive, you plan where you live, where you work, where you socialise, around how you get there. When the children were tiny, I had a double buggy; as they grew older they became good walkers themselves, and it never seemed especially onerous. I don't think being a non-driver is a problem, but it isn't fair to expect someone else to ferry you everywhere you want to go.

joedenise

We got round the problem this way as well. I hated driving when we lived in London but persevered and got and auto licence, but then didn't drive for about 8 years!

We then moved to a fairly remote area which means I now have no choice but to drive if I'm not going to go bonkers being stuck indoors all the time!!!

I had a single lesson soon after we moved as I was worried about driving on my own, as previously I'd only done it when my DH was with me and could take over if I felt panicked for any reason.

Now I just jump in the car and go where I need to and don't worry about it but still won't drive further than I NEED to. I still don't LIKE driving but do it as it is a necessary evil.

Denise