Wife does'nt drive

Idiophreak

Are you in a position to teach her to drive yourself?

If so, why not insist that if you need to pick her up or take her somewhere (unless she's been drinking, obviously!) then she has to drive herself, under your supervision.

I assume that after 24 hours of lessons she has the basics of how to control the car down.

This will give her experience, build her confidence and ultimately will help her to pass her test sooner - which will give you both some more freedom.

19lottie82

Does you wife want kids at any point? If she does perhaps you could use this as a selling point of the benefits of learning to drive?

I can imagine she will get sick of public transport very quickly when there is a baby and pram involved, if she is on mat leave and you are at work.

morocha

I have the same problem, I dont drive and I just turned 28, started having lessons 2 months ago but stopped so Oh could give me some as they were quite expensive.
I never learnt to drive because i didnt need to, i used to live in a big city, then i moved to the country side and it terrified me.
Im usually a driven person, but learning to drive was slow and it made me doubt of my own abilities and did not want to feel like a failure. I am the kind of person that gets very frustrated when i can not do it first time, or if it looks easy then I try and I fail.
Saying that, I am very independant, I do not drive but I walk everywhere and take the public transport when needed, I do not rely on my OH to drive me places. I do not like to feel like a burden to other people.
Also my oh is very surprise with the buss costs, and everyone keeps telling me that it work out cheaper to drive myself where i want to go. In fact, adding me to his insurance is quite cheap.

kingfisherblue

I didnt drive for many years. My ex was a driver in his job, and he was happy to drive when we went out. If he wanted a drink, we budgeted for a taxi. I caught the bus to and from work - 30 minutes each way, and limited bus service.

I did have lessons when I was younger, but i was so nervous that I failed my test four times. When the examiner was in the car, I just went to pieces. In the end, I stopped trying. After all, I could get the bus with my daughter, or my then husband would drive.

Then my second child was born. He has severe disabilities. I couldn't drive him to his many appointments and my ex couldn't take time off work as often as I would have needed him to. Sometimes my son had appointments every day, and many weren't in the town where we live. My father-in-law was a complete angel and drove me and my son everywhere.

Then I was offfered the chance to learn to drive, with a set amount of lessons paid for (due to my son's disabilities). I was really reluctant, based on my previous experiences. But I knew that my FIL couldn't keep on taking my son and I to his appointments. So I learned to drive and passed that time.

I've now been on my own with the kids for over seven years, and I am so glad that I did learn.

Maybe you need to find out why your wife doesn't want to learn to drive. Maybe her previous experiences haven't been good ones, so trying a different driving instructor might help. Thinking ahead to the future, if you want children, would your wife want to drive then? Getting the kids to school in the rain and snow isn't much fun, especially if you then have to get to work afterwards.

I think it is time to talk to your wife. Explain how you feel. She might not realise that you resent her reliance on your driving so much.

Idiophreak

Lovelyjoolz wrote: »

He CAN drive. Until recently, he was on my insurance as a provisional licence holder and we kept L plates in the car just in case he ever needed to drive. This was mainly because I sometimes get migraines that cause vision disturbance, but he only ever had to drive us home because of this once. He won't take his test because he has a dehabilitating fear of exams of any kind. I.e. he's a big wuss :rotfl:

Just a note, I'm fairly sure it's illegal for him to drive in this circumstance - as you won't be classed as capable of giving adequate supervision. In the eyes of the law, he CAN'T drive until he's passed his test...

I do sympathise with having a non-driving partner that doesn't drink, though. My wife didn't drive for the first 5 years of our relationship and she rarely drinks a thing. Very irritating

Februarycat

I dont drive but I cycle/walk everywhere to and from work, into town, or use the train if its a bit further afield. Did the same when I was married as OH never hardly gave me a lift, so I guess I have got use to it now. I never ask anyone for a lift unless they offer as I dont like to put people out of their way.

Armchair23

If it's a problem now it's only likely to get worse.
I hated learning to drive and still don't like driving, but there are going to be times when it's not just a question of you not wanting to drive her somewhere but you just won't be able to if you're ill, away or even lose your licence.
I think it's more than reasonable to say that if she doesn't want to learn to drive/cycle/motorbike it comes down to when you want to offer to give her lifts rather than when she demands them.
You'll probably need to try and work out what exactly it is she doesn't like about driving and please don't buy surprise driving lessons !
Another thing to consider is if you decide to have children being stuck at home all day if you can't get around is really grim.
Best of luck !

lazer

Idiophreak wrote: »

Just a note, I'm fairly sure it's illegal for him to drive in this circumstance - as you won't be classed as capable of giving adequate supervision. In the eyes of the law, he CAN'T drive until he's passed his test...

I do sympathise with having a non-driving partner that doesn't drink, though. My wife didn't drive for the first 5 years of our relationship and she rarely drinks a thing. Very irritating

I don't think having a migraine would disqualify you from being able to give adequate supervision now, i would say it perfectly legal, an in fact i used to let my friend drive (on a provisional) when i was feeling unwell and she needed the practice.

j.e.j.

Does your wife not want to drive, or is it just that she's not got herself organised enough to do the lessons and sit the tests?

Fwiw I don't drive, never have, haven't even had a lesson. I don't want to, tbh, and I tend to live in places with good buses/train service, where it's not necessary. I suppose I would like to think that a partner or someone close to me would offer me a lift if it was dark or getting late, but I wouldn't just expect someone who'd already been out driving all day to be my taxi service!

I'd say if you live in the sort of place where it really is necessary to drive (ie somewhere rural, or without reliable public transport) then I think she is going to need to bite the bullet and get herself a driving licence. She could even drive an automatic if she doesn't like driving the 'normal' kind of car?

Moominmamma

Idiophreak wrote: »

Are you in a position to teach her to drive yourself?

Horses for courses and all that, but in my experience this is a recipe for disaster!!