Partner wants me to pay all the rent?

martinthebandit

SnowBoarder wrote: »

He is with family, rent/bill free other than electric...

So he is looking to replace one mum with another eh?

I think you would be better off going out and finding a man instead of a 'child'

But, hey love is blind

<edit> Just read that he is 38, bloody hell from reading the first page I had the impression you were a pair of lovesick teenagers.

38 and still lives with (and sponges off) his parents? Lol what a catch

the_cat

I don't think it really matters what he promises to pay before the event. History has shown that he doesn't follow through with those sort of promises anyway

What happens the next time the rent is due and he really, really wants some shiny new toy? Which is he going to choose? And who is going to end up paying the whole amount of the bill/rent?

The bloke sounds like a complete loser tbh. Selfish, immature and quite honestly only seems interested in getting his own way, with you as paymaster general. Treating you fairly and your feelings dont seem at all important to him

He is 38 and you say you are making 'slow progress'. He might just be worth having by the time he is 75. Are you happy to sub him until then?

londonsurrey

the_cat wrote: »

I don't think it really matters what he promises to pay before the event. History has shown that he doesn't follow through with those sort of promises anyway

What happens the next time the rent is due and he really, really wants some shiny new toy? Which is he going to choose? And who is going to end up paying the whole amount of the bill/rent?

The bloke sounds like a complete loser tbh. Selfish, immature and quite honestly only seems interested in getting his own way, with you as paymaster general. Treating you fairly and your feelings dont seem at all important to him

He is 38 and you say you are making 'slow progress'. He might just be worth having by the time he is 75. Are you happy to sub him until then?

I agree.
Regardless of what your actual ages are, as it's more the mentality, he strikes me as more as material for a kept toy boy than someone ready and willing to pull his weight as an actual partner.

The question is whether you are happy to pay for him.

Lotus-eater

londonsurrey wrote: »

I agree.
Regardless of what your actual ages are, as it's more the mentality, he strikes me as more as material for a kept toy boy than someone ready and willing to pull his weight as an actual partner.

The question is whether you are happy to pay for him.

That's exactly what I was trying to think of yesterday, but couldn't think of the words.

Emmzi

at 38 he is approaching too old to be a toy boy. If you are giving free rent, find someone with less miles on the clock. It's how the men do it...

TheConways

londonsurrey wrote: »

For instance, what happens when incidentals like a bed, curtains, a bit of carpet, linen, replacement washing machine need to be purchased? It might not be these particular items, but something always comes up. Will he be ok with paying an extra £100-£300 that month, or will he throw his hands up in horror?

Great point.

I knew Mr. Conway was a catch when he pushed back on my offer to pay more for our rent as I earnt more than him. He's the most trustworthy man on money I know - always asking me before he spends anything significant, never complaining when I buy something fancy for myself (although I do tell him!)

Money is something that tears couples apart, you really have to trust the other person, and that they are "putting their money where their mouth is", so to speak.

This guy isn't. :money:

tea_lover

If he lives at home and doesn't even pay rent how on earth has he managed to get into debt in the first place? Let alone the fact that he's not paying it off and seems to think it's reasonable that you (or his mum) should subsidise his life so he can have whatever he wants.

Honestly, I would run a mile.

londonsurrey

tea_lover wrote: »

If he lives at home and doesn't even pay rent how on earth has he managed to get into debt in the first place? Let alone the fact that he's not paying it off and seems to think it's reasonable that you (or his mum) should subsidise his life so he can have whatever he wants.

Honestly, I would run a mile.

Well, there is the other option of persuading his mum to adopt you. It sounds like quite a comfortable existence.

wanchai_2

SnowBoarder wrote: »

He is with family, rent/bill free other than electric...

I've only read page 1, so sorry if this has been covered - but he doesn't even pay keep to his parents???? :eek: That's shocking. He doesn't deserve you.

I earn a bit more than OH (about 15% more so not a huge difference) but we split everything 50/50.

JustinCredibleGillespie

Is his job secure?

What if he were to lose it after you moved in together?

Would you be left to foot the bill for everything?

JCG

xx