Partner wants me to pay all the rent?

shegirl

zagfles wrote: »

Instead they never come in:( Is that better?

Most have already had one come in -their father.Then gone again.

You need to minimise risk!

This is why I hate people who introduce kids to their new boyfriend/girlfriend within days to a couple of months.It's ridiculous.

BitterAndTwisted

zagfles wrote: »

What isn't? An unmarried step-parent can just walk out any time they want with no impunity whatsoever. So exactly what is "not fair to the children"?

What is not fair is that many single parents and potential step-parents can't afford to move in together, or would find it very difficult financially. As a result millions of kids grow up with no Dad.

But we're getting a bit off the point....

Yes, we are and you're the idiot who's doing it.

In my opinion a couple thinking of living together, where there are children concerned need to doubly, trebly certain that the relationship is for good. I have friends with kids who have shipped "partners" in and out of their children's lives. It's a very very dangerous thing to do. I'd stay celibate or just date till the kids left home.

OP: your bloke is an infantile loser. Please don't move in with him

shegirl

SnowBoarder wrote: »

To a point yes, but should you sacrifice your lover/partner over money?

As Person_one says,it's not just the money is it.The money issues just show he's an immature,selfish prat who needs to grow up (and at 38,well...)

Lotus-eater

He's hot and he cooks, does he have anything else going for him? Because he sounds like a pampered little (38 year old) boy, who will ride roughshod over anyone to get his own way, is gambling you will move in with him (and pay for it) because he's hot and he cooks and is probably never going to change.

If you don't do it, or kick him out after a while, he'll find another girl who will like his looks and cooking and pay the bills for him.

gibson123

FATBALLZ wrote: »

Apparently your partner isn't willing to sacrifice any of his money for his lover/partner.

VERY good point!

SnowBoarder_2

The advice is great, thank you

Guess I have some thinking to do....:-/

SnowBoarder_2

gibson123 wrote: »

VERY good point!

Just thinking that!!!!

Feel a bit stupid now! :-o

zagfles

shegirl wrote: »

Most have already had one come in -their father.Then gone again.

You need to minimise risk!

This is why I hate people who introduce kids to their new boyfriend/girlfriend within days to a couple of months.It's ridiculous.

To the kids it's just one of Mummy/Daddy's "friends". The harm occurs if/when the kids develop an emotional attachment to the step-parent, that's not going to happen with someone who's only around for a few weeks, anymore than it would happen with a visiting relative from Australia who stays a few weeks.

There's nothing wrong with a trail run as a step-parent, from both the parents' and kids POV. The kids may not get on with the step-parent as well as vv.

Apologies to the OP for derailing the thread...I'll butt out now:o

Lotus-eater

SnowBoarder wrote: »

Just thinking that!!!!

Feel a bit stupid now! :-o

We all get taken in sometimes by someone and by that time it's difficult to pull away.
I bet if you looked into his background, you'd see there was a habit of moving in with girls, then moving out again.

GobbledyGook

SnowBoarder wrote: »

Yep that stuff (not nights out) and toys

Right, playing devil's advocate for a second, how much of the £600 is actually 'spends' (money just for himself) and how much is for things like a car, insurance, fuel etc? Also is having a car essential to his job?