My Quitting Smoking Diary - yours too!

determined_new_ms

cheesytwist wrote: »

Day 20 but only day 3 with no patch.
Gee has it been emotional, tears everywhere. started last night, didnt sleep to well and carried on today bursting into tears. Managed to keep it hidden at work tho and didnt let on to anyone I was now patch free in case I relapsed but I am pleased to say I have made it to and from work without a patch or a smoke and it feels good (still weepy tho and angry too I think, the pmt dont help lol)
Determined, I know how you are feeling and have felt, wasnt sure what you meant when you spoke about 'emotional' but now i know. As for your relapse, try get back on the wagon as soon as possible and dont beat yourself up.
I no longer want to eat any 'proper' food I just want to pig out on junk, and thats just what I am going to do, I am not going to get myself worked up over a few days of that if its what sees me through.
I am still finding this easier than I expected and I think it may be because I am living alone at the moment.....no one to take it out on, no one to look after, no one to answer too oh and mostly no one to run around after !! etc etc and all the time i need or want to be grouchy, weepy. or whatever. Hoping I have cracked on to something this time round....................lost count of how many times I have tried to quit in the past.

:j

good for you cheesy! Ha ha glad its not only me :rotfl: (although obviously I don't want anyone to be going through this, but it does validate me while I am feeling so insecure and needy! ) I would say having a talking to by my oh has actually brought me up on this. Although I am still feeling it I'm not letting it out the way I was if that makes sense?

Well done on 20 days that's fantastic :T can't wait until I am at that point.

For encouragement I'm going to mentally ignore the relapse. Yes I did smoke a lot in a short period. But I did realise my mistake within 2 hours and rectified it rather than continuing as I would have done previously. At this point its more motivating to think I stopped smoking a week ago than a couple of days!

Also very pleased to report I went to see my friend, spent 3 hours with her. She was very supportive and didn't smoke as much as she would have done, but did have one as we went for a walk, but it didn't cross my mind to smoke. She did also light one up as I was leaving and although I didn't want to smoke I did notice that I had a craving as I was driving away. Not so much a craving to actually smoke, but something - its hard to explain, for about 5 mins and then again an hour after.

Anyway the moral of the story is I can be around smoker as long as there's no alcohol around and I can drink alcohol as long as there are no smokers around but I can't mix the two!

cheesytwist

Anyway the moral of the story is I can be around smoker as long as there's no alcohol around and I can drink alcohol as long as there are no smokers around but I can't mix the two![/QUOTE]:T:T:T:T
sssoooooooooo glad you put that into words Determined
That just hits the nail on the head, I am exact same but couldnt describe what I meant.
In fact been drinking more than normal the past 15 days or so as the red wine really settles my tastebuds better than anything else but I cant imagine going to the pub with smokers and coping with no smokes, but at home, alone....its fine

Well done on visiting your friend and not smoking, give your self a big pat on the back at each small step you achieve/take. many many people will be just waiting for you to fail (esp your smoking friends, who wont even be able to give up their weed for half an hour whilst in your company) so you have to keep patting your own back (or as i do, imaginary fist pumping lol)
You will get to day 20........Only thing I can say is it feels like its taken more than 20 days to get to day 20!!!!
I am looking forward to using the word 'weeks' instead of days
On the positive side... I work in a restaurant/hotel kitchen, can be pretty darned stressful but there is always food around that I can constantly nibble all day long which is my only saving grace for now lol.

Thx Su Su for you encouragement, locking myself away (apart from work or to visit my mum) until I can once again be allowed out in public safely lol :beer:

determined_new_ms

gosh its really hard for me right now....

Have taken afternoon off of work and come home as have been upset and have just spent the last hour battling with myself over whether to go and get some cigs or not

I know smoking isn't the answer but just want something to distract myself from how upset I am

maybe stopping smoking isn't the right time for me right now

cheesytwist

AAAAWWWW Determined Please try and stay strong
Is something in particular upsetting you just now or is it just a general thing thats going on?
Do yo think the no ciggies is making you feel worse?
Not been a great day here either for cravings but have got thro it. Soon be bed time n then wont be thinking of smokes just sleep.
Hope your ok
XX

determined_new_ms

My son was sentenced to 12 years in prison on Friday

I smoked...

cheesytwist

I am so sorry.... dont know what to say cept I understand how tough it must be for you right now.
Perhaps now is not the time, as you said, to be putting yourself thro more stress.
So you smoked.....dont fret about that..... least of your problems for now
Here to listen if it helps
Take care of yourself
XX

determined_new_ms

Thanks cheesy, sorry am finding it really hard to come to terms with. Smoke 1 1/2 cigs and then threw the pack away and brushed my teeth.

Yes it's a very stressful time for me, but smoking isn't going to make it any less stressful. Need to keep trucking and I'll get there.

Thanks for being supportive x

Fergie42

Hi all,
I'm not a stopper yet but had my lightbulb moment last night that I cannot afford to keep on smoking at the level I am doing. Both me and my husband smoke (Quite heavily at weekends when wine is involved!) and I estimated it is costing about £500+ a month.

Given that we are skint that is a ridiculous amount and it just has to stop.

I have cut down on everything to try and save money but not the ciggies as I know I use them as a crutch. I'm ashamed to say that even my 10 year old daughter said to me the other day 'you've always got money for cigarettes though' which tore a piece out of my heart.

So here goes..........going to the chemist to get the electronic thingy (and buying hubby one whether he likes it or not). Aiming to be down to 10 a day by the end of the week.

Is that really bad? I just want some advice on whether I am kidding myself really by not stopping altogether? I am pretty certain I am not ready for that but I am open to suggestions....please x

determined_new_ms

Fergie you need to choose whatever method works for you. Lots of people do a reduction programme before they stop. What I have done in the past is try having every other cig to start with. Good luck!

Well done on making the decision, the best one of the year. You can do this, the road might be long but the journey is worth the ups and downs x

Fergie42

determined_new_ms wrote: »

Fergie you need to choose whatever method works for you. Lots of people do a reduction programme before they stop. What I have done in the past is try having every other cig to start with. Good luck!

Well done on making the decision, the best one of the year. You can do this, the road might be long but the journey is worth the ups and downs x

Awww thanks hun. I didn't want to join and seem like a cheat by not being totally committed to stopping altogether - although that's my goal in the end.

I'm 45 for heaven's sake and have been smoking since 16. I have an inhaler which I have kidded myself is for asthma but I know deep down it's because I smoke too much.

Last night I must admit I would have had a ciggie between each advert on the telly but stopped myself as I knew I didn't really need one.

The weekend will be the big test when I have a well earned wine after working all week - but in honesty I need to cut this down as well.

Thanks for your support and all the best with what is happening in your life xx