My Quitting Smoking Diary - yours too!

determined_new_ms

Morning. I have a confession, I smoked a cigarette last night. I could make excuses about why (am going through some pretty rough stuff at the moment, my children who are 18 & 19 have some difficulties which is tearing me apart and am quite done in over it all) but that's just an excuse. Obviously my problems are still here after smoking it, so no help then!

Am seeing it as a momentary loss of focus rather than a relapse and I am not a returning to smoking.

Anyway thought I would share my shame...

Sue-UU

Oh what a rotten shame, determined, but there's no going back now, the only way from here on is onward and upward as you had been doing.

Treat just this 1 as a blip (not shame!) and remember that no matter how many fags you smoke - you won't make the problems go away! They might temporarily make you think you feel better, but you sure as heck won't IF you go back to smoking again!

Help your youngsters all you can, we all do, it's only natural when we're their parents, but going back to the fags will only add to their troubles as they'll then feel bad at you reverting to that dirty, smelly, frightening land again.

Be there for them and listen to their problems; if you can help do so, but let them see you can do it without a ciggie in your hand!

The greatest gift we can give to anyone is our time - give them that in abundance, you can afford to now as you have more of it on your hands. They'll love you for listening and comforting.

Every best wish for them both in sorting out their troubles, and all the best for their dear Mum, she's a treasure!

Love and hugs, Sue xxx

jammy_dodger

dont beat yourself up determined , take is a lesson learned and move on , smoking is never a solution , just leaves you feeling worse in the end, look at your earlier posts how you were feeling so possitive and want rid of the blighters for good and stay focused on tha

we're with you for the long haul
JD xx

cheesytwist

Hi All
Day 18 of no smoking for me altho have been using patches. Its been relatively stress free and much easier than expected.
I realise that I still have to quit the nicotine, its only the habit of smoking I have been getting over the last 18 days so decided today, as not at work, NO nicotine patch. The lack of nicotine is just beginning to kick in so thought would come join the thread for some support.
Spent the morning in my kitchen making some nice tasty soup, and some fresh berry ice cream, some nice nibbles for when the cravings kick in badly. Have been through craving issues despite wearing patches but have never lasted too long, but in the habit now of getting some nice home cooked food ready for when they do.
Been no angel however, have munched my way through bag loads of nuts and sweets and chocolate (luckily at the moment I dont have any weight issues) and have found red wine to be my NBF as far as relieving my tastebuds go lol.
Anyway, have been reading all the posts now for an hour or so and thought I would come join in and share my journey along with rest of you in hope it helps get me through the next few tough days that I know are coming.
XX

jammy_dodger

Good evning cheesytwist ( great name by the way )

Fab to hear you are 18 days into your journey already :T:T
I'd say keep a patch not too far away in case you get a strong desire (rather that than light up ) but hopefully you wont need it
drink plenty of water and try to keep yourself busy

have you savings goals for all the lovely money you are not going to spend on the evil weed ? important to treat yourself and give yourself a well deserved pat on the back

sounds like you are doing brilliant

JD xx

cheesytwist

Thx JD for your reply.
still got patches nearby. i suspect will succumb to using a patch again once at work on Monday.
Thinking I may be a little strange.......seems I cope better when sitting doing nothing on my own with maybe just the tv on or the laptop. Just dont feel the need to stay occupied, in fact the opposite as I think when busy I usually want to take a break, have a cup of tea and of course a smoke so am quite happy doing nothing. (any excuse). I also find being in company is a huge trigger to smoke as usually having glass of wine or cup of tea/coffee.
Have been using patches for a few months and cut back on smokes to 5 a day ish. think this has made a huge diff to being able to stop, as dont miss 5 a day as bad as would 20 a day.
Its still very early days but I would agree with what has been said in forum......do whatever works for you.....if its working it cant be the wrong way.

onwards we go


smober time 2W 3D 23hrs mins
amount saved £164
not smoked 359
life saved 1D 5 hrs 55mins

Sue-UU

cheesytwist wrote: »

Hi All Day 18 of no smoking for me altho have been using patches. Its been relatively stress free and much easier than expected.

Anyway, have been reading all the posts now for an hour or so and thought I would come join in and share my journey along with rest of you in hope it helps get me through the next few tough days that I know are coming.
XX

Hello and a very warm welcome to the thread, cheesytwist!! Very well done on getting as far as you have. I know you were on patches, but even so, it still takes courage to start to stop so well done you!

Not very many new stoppers find sitting doing nothing easy, in fact that's usually their toughest time, but I'm really pleased you're finding it the other way round.

As JD has advised, keep a patch by to stick on IF you need it. The rest of the time, if you can manage without them, all well and good as the sooner you can be free of nicotine the better - just don't do so at your peril!!

I bet those nibbles and soup came in handy later on yesterday, it all sounded delicious!

For now while you're vulnerable, try to keep away from socialising, alcohol etc; you know they're your wealnesses so do try to avoid them for now. When you do start to socialise more (when you're through the early days) be quick to use the "I don't smoke thanks" if you're with those that do.

Please, please, if you have friends who smoke just never be tempted to try "just one puff or one fag"! It's a recipe for disaster and you'll be straight back to square one!

You've got some great statistics there, keep an eye on them as they really do help you.

We're here for you and will be delighted to share your journey with you. It's always truly wonderful to have people here who slowly make it safely to the other side, I dearly hope that's YOU!!! :grinheart

Best wishes,

Sue x

determined_new_ms

Morning - its quiet around here at the moment! Not sure what to put in my title bar today I feel like I have given up for 7 days (my silk quit meter is on the other laptop) but I fell off the wagon again on Saturday. In fact quite substantially. I went to a pub with a friend and after a glass of wine bought some cigs. I think I smoked 4 or 5. After I left her I walked past another pub and there were some people sitting outside the pub and I gave my tobacco to them - maybe I shouldn't have done that, but being a MSE I can't stand waste!

Yesterday was hard again, but my oh snapped at me and told me to get a grip to either smoke or not but to stop going on about it. So duly reprimanded that's what I did. Went for a run and dealt with the cravings, and in truth there weren't many

So here I am either at day 7 or day 2, not quite sure. However it doesn't feel like day 2 did last week...

Have read through the first few pages of the thread for inspiration. Although am thinking this makes this harder for me as it puts cigs in my mind, whereas at the moment I am just putting smoking out!

I am determined that this time will be the last time I quit and I hope my last cig was my last. But I'm not going to beat myself up for this. I think staying out of pubs is probably for the best for the next couple of weeks!

I think I am going to sign up for a sewing class - trying to learn on my own is proving very slow and rarely even starts!

Today I am visiting an old friend who smokes, not sure what my strategy is going to be, might get her to go for a walk, or if I am tempted then I might just stop for a short while.

At this point it truly isn't that hard so not sure why I relapsed and despite smoking loads in a couple of hours :eek: was conscious they tasted foul :eek:

Ok better get on with my day, thought I'd just pop by and give an update...

jammy_dodger

hi determined

just a quick "hugs" from me as am my way to work ...wondered how you wee fairing

its so not worth it you know that , aye stay away from your triggers if you can

were here to help

best of luck
JD xx

cheesytwist

Day 20 but only day 3 with no patch.
Gee has it been emotional, tears everywhere. started last night, didnt sleep to well and carried on today bursting into tears. Managed to keep it hidden at work tho and didnt let on to anyone I was now patch free in case I relapsed but I am pleased to say I have made it to and from work without a patch or a smoke and it feels good (still weepy tho and angry too I think, the pmt dont help lol)
Determined, I know how you are feeling and have felt, wasnt sure what you meant when you spoke about 'emotional' but now i know. As for your relapse, try get back on the wagon as soon as possible and dont beat yourself up.
I no longer want to eat any 'proper' food I just want to pig out on junk, and thats just what I am going to do, I am not going to get myself worked up over a few days of that if its what sees me through.
I am still finding this easier than I expected and I think it may be because I am living alone at the moment.....no one to take it out on, no one to look after, no one to answer too oh and mostly no one to run around after !! etc etc and all the time i need or want to be grouchy, weepy. or whatever. Hoping I have cracked on to something this time round....................lost count of how many times I have tried to quit in the past.

:j