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grannyx2

Rather fitting really

Night all Granny x

grannyx2

B & Q JOB APPLICATION

This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells
They hired him because he was so funny.....
This is a genuine application form for a position at B&Q. Wouldn't you just love to!!!...............

NAME:
Kenneth Way (Grumpy B^st^rd)

SEX:
Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION:
Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available.
If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I?

DESIRED SALARY:
£150,000 a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style redundancy package.
If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:
Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY:
A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING LAST POSITION:
It was a crap job.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Reader's Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big boobs and who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE?:
7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Oh Yes,
Absolutely.

Rainbow_Bridge

Thanks for the great giggle again grannyx2.

Well done for not being intimidated by the boss from hell like the rest of your colleagues, and keeping your self esteem.

You seem to have got the measure of how to handle him x.

Piquant_2

You're doing well standing up to the boss, and doing it the right way. It's difficult to bully someone who's calm and reasonable yet standing firm in public. I remember the frustration of those who moan but when given the opportunity to speak stay silent. Really you have to do your job well and make sure you're recognised for it, the others will have to make their own way, you can't carry them all, I'm afraid.

happy_but_skint

I would love to send an application off like that! Good news on the hair dye. Did you ever find a cardigan or shrug to go with your dress?

grannyx2

Hello all, I've had a busy day today, moving the room around to make space for DGD2 to stay tomorrow. Gosh I've got a lot of stuff, nothing that'll go off mind you so will be used eventually but needs a good sort out. Job for Monday I think after DGD1 has gone to school and DGD2 has gone home. At the moment its all stuffed in the cupboard out of little hands reach.

I'm going to buy a travel cot as she is also staying 2/3 nights after the wedding and more often if she likes and I'm concerned that she won't sleep on the blow up sofa. DGD1 didn't stay overnight until she was 2+ and then didn't like the sofa and usually climbed into bed with me. Only problem is the bed is smaller now, only 3/4 size so don't think we'd have a very good night if she does. So I'm going to buy a decent travel cot that I can sell after she's finished with it. Says she can use it up to about 3 and she's quite a tiny little thing so no concerns there. By then she can have DGD1s zed bed and DGD1 can have the 3/4 bed as I won't need to be in the same room as them.

Had NSD #13 today but clearly won't have one tomorrow, so may not make target of 20 this month but not too bothered as needed things for wedding this month.

HBS decided to knit cover up for wedding in really nice wool. Going well so far, although unpicked first attempt as not quite right and got wool in awful tangle, took me most of the week to untangle it. Its really slinky wool that is 2 strands of grey cotton with silver cotton squares every inch and knits up really lacy. Really hoping this version works as like the look of it so far.

That's pretty much it, I'm looking forward to pay day on Friday as after tomorrow's spends I'll be skint but don't need anything else before then and if emergency crops up will have to get OH to pay.

Going shopping in the morning and for coffee, before picking girls up at lunch time and then home for afternoon and hopefully night of Granny fun

Night all Gx2 x

grannyx2

This made me think of Piq and I giving our DDs our blessing to go off to Australia despite it hurting like crazy. Dedicated to all you fab mums out there with a special mention to Piq x

grannyx2

Well 9.30pm and everyone is in bed with only me still awake. Went for coffee and shopping with OH this morning and then to buy the cot. Am I glad I got it, 15 minutes of furious yelling by DGD2, despite being so tired her dummy kept falling out of her mouth. There is no way I'd have got her to sleep on a blow up sofa or in my bed and you can't let her fall to sleep and then carry her to bed because as soon as she's moved she wakes up. Gosh she was cross, OH got quite concerned and asked what we were going to do and I said, she'll calm down eventually, which she did all of a sudden, but he looked like he didn't believe me.

The cot is nice and really easy to put up and quite sturdy so fingers crossed it lasts a while.

Picked girls and DDIL2B up at 2 and went to local shops, just for a wander really as neither of us have any money but was nice to wander. Dropped her home at 5.30 before going back to mine for tea. DGD2 was tired by 6.30 but DGD1 has only just gone to sleep. Hoping they don't wake me up too early in the morning, but going to bed early just in case.

Night all, hope you had a good weekend - talk tomorrow x

Gx2 x

missrlr

Night night granny. Sounds like a lovely day and glad the cot worked even if your ears were tested in the process!

NewLeaf_2

Have a good sleep granny dear x