Is my husband being unreasonable or is it me ?

ailuro2

Would he prefer her to stay over then get the bus home in the morning?

It's a different world out there now, boys walking girls home is all well and good but what happens when he gets jumped/mugged when he walks back on his own?

It also depends on where you live whether or not there are buses.

My parents didn't drive so I had to be on the last bus home or get a taxi ( and pay for it myself) but I'm 42 now, so it's a long time ago too!

I can see where hubby is coming from too - if he wants to have a beer he can't because DD needs a lift from somewhere that he knows can be walked no problem.

Think you should buy yourself a Highway Code, don't you? ( that way you'll know she's safe, asnd hubby can't grumble)

JodyBPM

Its a 30 min walk, so a 5-10min drive? And if you alternated with BFs mum it would be once a fortnight? Then yes, your DH is being very unreasonable IMO. Its not really a big deal is it? And once a fortnight is hardly being "used as a taxi service"! Does your DH moan about being used as a taxi service when he drives you to the supermarket/out for the evening etc?

I wouldn't let a 16 year old girl walk for 30mins late at night, I'd *want* to be giving her a lift for her safety and my peace of mind.

BugglyB

Just to say for me your daughters boyfriend walking her back on his own is not a satisfactory solution. At that age actually he is far more likely to be assaulted than your daughter. Perhaps you could show your oh those stats.

anna_grant

emmalinestephen wrote: »

Thanks for your helful replies so far. You are right Marisco I really should have learnt to drive. It's a huge regret. We wouldn't have had this problem with DD as I would have been more than happy to collect her and also it would have been great to help my parents get around now they are getting on. Although, hubby will help them no problem I hate asking all the time. I feel I'm a bit long in the tooth now to learn . 50 next year !!

Please don't think this. I am 50 in November and I am currently learning to drive. I took the theory test two weeks ago and passed with 48 out of 50 (pass mark is 43) and easily passed the hazard perception test.

This week I will be booking my practical test for 25 June and I only started my lesson in February (I tried to learn to drive 30 years ago and couldn't manage to pass the test - far too nervous then).

Never, ever think you are too long in the tooth for anything. I have changed so much in my life in the last 18 months - lost 60lbs in weight, fallen in love for the very first time in my life (didn't think it existed), in the process of selling my flat and relocating 4000 miles away. It is never, ever too late to do anything in your life.

lilibet1

He is being very very unfair. He is a parent and that's what you do. How would he feel if anything happened to her on her way Home if she walked.

Go on....get some driving lessons.

emmalinestephen

Really appreciating your replies. It's good to get others perspective.

Yes, he is her father not step-father and yes I really should learn to drive. It's not that I can't be bothered I've just never got round to it.

The bus/walk options are viable ( it's only a 30 minute walk ) but if the boy's mum gives her a lift I feel we should respond likewise.

I think the crux of the matter is if my daughter asked me to get up at 5 am and walk to the next town in the pouring rain for shoelaces for her I would do it. That is, I would do anything for her. Why doesn't her Dad feel like that ?

loracan1

emmalinestephen wrote: »

I think the crux of the matter is if my daughter asked me to get up at 5 am and walk to the next town in the pouring rain for shoelaces for her I would do it. That is, I would do anything for her. Why doesn't her Dad feel like that ?

To be honest, I don't feel like that about my children, but I'd (possibly reluctantly) pick them up late at night, and have done.

onlyroz

A 30 min walk is 10 mins on a bicycle.

I lived in the butt-end of nowhere as a child and so had to rely on my parents for lifts. But if I'd lived in a proper town or village I think I'd have been expected to get myself out and about at age 16.

emmalinestephen

anna_grant wrote: »

Please don't think this. I am 50 in November and I am currently learning to drive. I took the theory test two weeks ago and passed with 48 out of 50 (pass mark is 43) and easily passed the hazard perception test.

This week I will be booking my practical test for 25 June and I only started my lesson in February (I tried to learn to drive 30 years ago and couldn't manage to pass the test - far too nervous then).

Never, ever think you are too long in the tooth for anything. I have changed so much in my life in the last 18 months - lost 60lbs in weight, fallen in love for the very first time in my life (didn't think it existed), in the process of selling my flat and relocating 4000 miles away. It is never, ever too late to do anything in your life.

Thank you for this Anna. You have done so well. It gives me hope and inspiration:T

tori.k

we had a similar issue not so bad as we both drive, my 17 yr old give's over a £5 a week towards fuel to cover his lifts to work and running him out to his girlfriends/mates, i find hitting him in the pocket now and again gives him an appreciation that their no such thing as a free lunch i've been putting the money aside to go towards block booking him some driving lessons for his birthday so he can chauffeur me about instead