Is my husband being unreasonable or is it me ?

pinkclouds

emmalinestephen wrote: »

I would love to if finances allow. DD will probably pass her test before me though. Do they not say a a lesson for every year of your life? I'll be bankrupt:D

I think whether you learn to drive or not is beside the point. However, if you do then I recommend automatic instead of manual/stick-shift. It is infinitely easier, I assure you, having driven both automatic and manual cars. You can't accelerate or corner as quickly but I don't really consider those to be disadvantages!

Also, you don't sit the theory and practical exams at the same time. If you pass your theory and fail the practical, then you just resit the practical. And so on. There's now a section on car maintenance too so you'll be able to "service" your own car. Well, check the oil and water levels at least!

Spendless

If you pass your driving test in an automatic you can only drive an automatic. If you pass your test in a manual you can drive either. What's your husband's car, automatic or manual? If it's manual and you've passed your test in an automatic you're not going to be able to drive it to go get your DD. Not unless the car is changed for an automatic or you get yourself one.

mintymoneysaver

I pick my daughter up at least once a week from her boyfriends. She's 18, but it's a 20 minute drive, and not walkable. If it's daylight though, she gets the bus. i don't do it because I'm protective ( I'd be quite happy for her to get the bus) I do it because otherwise she'd just live there all weekend, and I quite like seeing her!

Penny-Pincher!!

Dunroamin wrote: »

I was attacked once when I was about 15 and accepted a lift from a stranger:o although not in any major way and I was flashed at a couple of times as well.

I certainly wasn't terrified, I didn't change my behaviour and it wouldn't make me over protective of my own child.

Life goes on.

Life does go on, but I don't understand how that wouldn't make you more protective, when it actually happened to you? Im a little confused by your post.

So at age 15, you were attacked, accepted a lift from a stranger and have been flashed at on more than one occasion and you certainly weren't terrified?

So if you had a 15 year old DD you would put them in an unsafe situation to get attacked, be okay with them getting in a strangers car and have no problem with her being flashed? Sorry, but either your thinking is off or you've not explained yourself well.

As decent parents it is our responsibility to make sure our kids are safe and we try and teach them common sense.

PP

alwaysskint96

Dont any other parents of teenagers ever go out themselves on a Sat night? After years of the hassle of sorting babysitters its nice to ve able to leave DD who is 17.

No way would i be giving up nights out to be her taxi- if sje wants lift anywhere she arranges it to happen before i go out or makes alternative plans

emmalinestephen

Spendless wrote: »

If you pass your driving test in an automatic you can only drive an automatic. If you pass your test in a manual you can drive either. What's your husband's car, automatic or manual? If it's manual and you've passed your test in an automatic you're not going to be able to drive it to go get your DD. Not unless the car is changed for an automatic or you get yourself one.

Husband's is an automatic but probably too big for me when starting off. Some big Audi A6 ?

I was attacked in broad daylight too but I know that life is full of risks & you can't let it ruin your life. I just feel anxious until I know she is back safe & sound in the house & I do feel at this age she is our responsibility. In a year or so when she is off to Uni ( hopefully ) then I will be more than happy to relinquish the reins.

daisiegg

I would say if a 16 yr old is not old enough to get themselves home at 11pm at night, they are not old enough to be staying out until 11pm at night. What would be wrong with coming home at 8 or 9pm over the summer months while it's still light enough to walk/cycle/get the bus?

My parents never gave loads of lifts in the evenings when I was growing up. That said, my dad used to walk to meet me out of work when I worked until 10pm on a Saturday night (5 mins walk, but down a dark alley all the way). They also drive to pick my 17 yr old brother up from work at 10pm on a Friday night (would be a 40 min walk for him). However, they would never have driven to pick either of us up from a friend's or boyfriend's or girlfriend's at that time of night. Work shifts are unavoidable and are an important part of growing up and learning responsibility and you can't choose not to finish late if that's the shift you are given - staying out at your boyfriend's until 11pm isn't unavoidable.

Like others have said, my parents were always very reasonable and would pick us up/drop us places at reasonable times of day or if they were already out in the car. But I don't think I would ever even have asked to get picked up at 11pm on a Saturday night (not least because my very hard-working tired parents would usually be asleep by that time!). At the age of 16, before learning to drive, I had to be home earlier than 11pm - if I needed a lift home, it had to be at a time that suited my parents. Which I think (and thought) is entirely reasonable - after all they were the ones working all week to pay for my clothes, food, the car, the petrol in it, the house, etc!

daisiegg

I agree with those who say 16 yr olds shouldn't be out walking at 11pm, regardless of gender (I am in my twenties and wouldn't want to walk very far after dark!) but I don't think that means it's the parents' responsibility to drive them.......it is the 16 yr olds' responsibility not to put themselves in a situation where they'd need to be out walking after dark!

NickyBat

I'd say unreasonable, it's not like it's every night, and my child's safety would come above all else.

BTW, my nan learned to drive when she was in her 60's..........so never too late.

bright_side

Penny-Pincher!! wrote: »

Life does go on, but I don't understand how that wouldn't make you more protective, when it actually happened to you? Im a little confused by your post.

So at age 15, you were attacked, accepted a lift from a stranger and have been flashed at on more than one occasion and you certainly weren't terrified?

So if you had a 15 year old DD you would put them in an unsafe situation to get attacked, be okay with them getting in a strangers car and have no problem with her being flashed? Sorry, but either your thinking is off or you've not explained yourself well.

As decent parents it is our responsibility to make sure our kids are safe and we try and teach them common sense.

PP

My thinking may be off here, but I wonder if Dunroamin has any children? When those sort of things happened to me when I was a child, it never occurred to me that one day I'd have my own children and would want to make sure they were protected from such things. It was only when I actually became a Mum that those feelings naturally kicked in.