would this offend you or are people just to touchy

fluffnutter

I suppose the fact that there are a few on here wondering what all the fuss is about is the reason why hilarious jokes like this are still doing the rounds. There's always someone who finds Bernard Manning funny I guess. Perhaps these people also have those signs up on their desk at work 'You don't have to be mad to work here! But it helps!'.

sarymclary

Well, I don't find it funny, and I wouldn't share it. So, maybe I'm a premature old fart?!

Just because the caption runs alongside a cartoon face, doesn't necessarily make it a joke.

The implication in the quote is clear, and to paraphrase:
Dear MIL, you are a !!!! parent, the result is the !!!! man I married, and don't even dare to lecture me on parenting your grandchildren!

You may have just seen the funny side, but with all jokes that might offend, there was always the chance you might offend with this one.

If the quotation had been in more generalistic terms about something it may not have mattered, but it specifically mentions the MIL as the person it's targetted at. If you are also connected on facebook with other family members, it might well have embarrassed her further.

If it were me, and one of my son's future partners were to post this, I would be offended, and probably quite angry with you, and I don't really think I'm that sensitive a person!

I hope you manage to clear the air with your MIL, as it sounds as though you ordinarily have a good relationship with her. This is probably something you'll have to clear up with her face to face, and admit you didn't see the negative aspect of the quote, and you posted it because it reminded you of the conversations you both had to this effect, etc.

Janepig

I learned to my cost about stuff like this afew years back. We have an e-mail notice board thingy in work and someone was discussing dodgy christmas presents (the one that sticks in my mind was someone said his mother had given him the "neck" bit of a polo neck, with a bit of a bib attached, to wear under a v-neck jumper to look like a proper polo neck. Hysterical imo).

Anyway, I'd had a set of teaspoons for Christmas afew weeks earlier and my eldest DD who was a baby at the time had been given a soft toy frog dressed in a welsh costume, which is so hideous we've tried to get her to lose it in school numerous times, so I mentioned those, and put something jokey about them being from DH's side of the family. Someone who knows FIL and has got nothing better to do than $hitstir for a living decided to show him what I'd put, so he e-mailed me in work about it. TBH I'm not sure why, it was hardly the crime of the century on my part, and I wonder whether he just fired off the e-mail without thinking too.

The embarrassment lives on but it was a valuable lesson to me to just take another second to think about what you're posting/sending. Personally I never get offended by anything, my sense of humour is at gutter level usually, but I'm hyper wary of the consequences of what you post, and that there are plenty of humourless people out there.

Jx

pinkclouds

sarymclary wrote: »

I hope you manage to clear the air with your MIL, as it sounds as though you ordinarily have a good relationship with her.

I think this post is an example of why the OP should not be FB friends with her MIL. "A good relationship." I have a "good relationship" with my MIL too but she isn't a FB buddy. Facebook is an online space to socialise with people that you would socialise with offline IRL. It's not a static address book. It's you down the pub with up to 500 mates listening to what you say.

What the "joke" says is: my kids aren't perfect but your child isn't perfect either so you can't tell me how to raise perfect kids. It's actually totally true. Anyway, I think it's a dumb thing to be upset over because it merely echoes what my dad always says: the mom always knows best i.e. the kids' mother not their grandmother or anyone else.

If the OP's husband wants her to grovel to his mother then she will have to do so for the sake of her marriage. However, she should also learn to distinguish between family relations and actual friends. The situation should not have arisen in the first place. A friend can be a relative but a relative is not necessarily a friend.

Btw, for what it's worth, I would offer to grovel. But I would still defriend too.

londonsurrey

For a start, I'd stop talking to the stirrer who reported it to the MIL. Save your time for people with better hobbies.

Gavin83

Mojisola wrote: »

If my DIL unfriended me just after this, I would be even more convinced that it wasn't a joke and that she was showing what she really thought of me. It also wouldn't stop someone else telling me about other things on DIL's facebook page.

If she says something then all you need to say is that you don't wish to fall out over comments on your facebook taken the wrong way and therefore you feel it's easier if she no longer has the ability to view your facebook page. If your feeling nice about it just add something about it being unnecessary as your good friends in real life anyway. Just make it clear it wasn't aimed at her, you saw it on someone elses page and found it funny.

I don't think its a good idea to add family anyway, it only leads to trouble. The only 'family' member who has attempted to add me was my girlfriends dad and I rejected his request. This wasn't a problem and it didn't lead to any 'miscommunications' in the future.

Mado

pinkclouds wrote: »

I think this post is an example of why the OP should not be FB friends with her MIL. "A good relationship." I have a "good relationship" with my MIL too but she isn't a FB buddy. Facebook is an online space to socialise with people that you would socialise with offline IRL. It's not a static address book. It's you down the pub with up to 500 mates listening to what you say..

Is that what it says when you sign up I wonder?
What utter rubbish. Facebook is whatever you chose it to be.

pinkclouds wrote: »

What the "joke" says is: my kids aren't perfect but your child isn't perfect either so you can't tell me how to raise perfect kids. It's actually totally true. .

No what the joke says is :don't tell me how to do my jobs since I have a live in example that you did rubbish yourself.

pinkclouds wrote: »

Anyway, I think it's a dumb thing to be upset over because it merely echoes what my dad always says: the mom always knows best i.e. the kids' mother not their grandmother or anyone else.

I suspect you're not a mum yourself.
Your dad is quite mistaken. Sometimes grandma knows best; however she is rarely ever in a position to say so. We're all allowed to make our own mistakes. But they can have fairly valid points to.
Some mothers know anything but best.

pinkclouds

Mado wrote: »

I suspect you're not a mum yourself.
Your dad is quite mistaken.

I'm a mom of two. And I think my dad is (nearly) always right. However, I agree to disagree. You are entitled to your own opinion.

marywooyeah

fluffnutter wrote: »

I suppose the fact that there are a few on here wondering what all the fuss is about is the reason why hilarious jokes like this are still doing the rounds. There's always someone who finds Bernard Manning funny I guess. Perhaps these people also have those signs up on their desk at work 'You don't have to be mad to work here! But it helps!'.

haha I've got one that says "you can touch the dust but please don't write in it"!

annie_d

I would be a bit upset I think just in case it was aimed at me but I would never say anything and always let it pass. Everything passes.